forum We All Get a Serial Killer (O/O)

Started March 05, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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Cameron kept his eyes on her and kept them boring into her, knowing her well. She’d crack eventually just under the strain of his eyes. They did it to each other all the time anyway.
“Oh sure. Usual stuff. Seafood sounds good but check the expiration. What’s usual stuff, baby? Would you be so kind as to inform me again…?” He proposed lightly, tilting his head in the slightest. Rose followed his lead and tilted her head cutely.

“Doing stuff for work and making vet appointments and making sure to pay the pilot. Just things like that.” Ava finally steals a glance at him. It’s an action she immediately regrets. She knows that she’s not going to last much longer under that stars. “Cameron, why are you looking at me like that?” The head tilt from the dog just makes this all the harder. Tipping the vodka bottle back, she takes several long sips of the liquid. It’s not helping this time.

His gaze didn’t waver off of her when she braved a look up at him, and he crossed his arms in the slightest as Zore just sort of looked confused.
“I can’t look at you?” He asked innocently, raising his eyebrows in addition to his head tilt and his staring, almost unblinking eyes. He could feel her nervousness. Mostly because she was drinking more. That was a sign of something and it was nervousness.

That’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. She did not last long keeping this up. With a sigh of defeat, she looks over to him, her expression kin to that of a kicked puppy.
“I was thinking about what my father said earlier.” That statement in general is the sign of something bad. “Maybe we should have a baby. I know it’s horrible to want a kid just because someone else wants you to and I feel so fucking bad for even thinking this but I can’t help it. I just want him to leave us alone. A baby would get him to completely fuck off. I’m a horrible horrible person for even saying this, I know. It’s just so ducking hard to have him breathing down my neck every second and making me feel like the worst fucking daughter in the whole world. I know we both said that kids were off the table but we never actually did discuss it. Would having a baby really be so terrible? Oh, god, what am I saying? I know this isn’t what either of us wants. I just need you to tell me that I’m being dumb. Because I know I’m being dumb but I really need you to help snap me out of this before I loose my fucking mind. Damnit, I’m a really bad person. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought this up.” The words come pouring out of her mouth at a rapid pace before she can stop herself. Distraught ebbs into her features as she wishes she could just disappear.

Cameron let the pups go and grabbed Ava, pulling her into a hug and leaning her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her as he listened to her finish her speech, his eyes shut a little.
“No. I don’t want kids. You don’t want kids. Neither of us want kids. I refuse to crack under the pressure your father is giving us and I think you should express the same refusal. That man is horrifically out of his timeline and he needs to realize that women are actually respected in these times. I love you, and I love my sanity. I learned a lot from Cormac, but I know what it does to relationships. Having a child is really hard. And it wouldn’t fix any of our problems with your father. It would make him have a deeper influence in his family, and we should just kill that when we have the chance. He doesn’t deserve more children than he has. Sorry. But that man is terrible. I refuse to let you give in. You don’t give in Ava.”

Ava’s entire body remains tense. The thoughts in her head are running wild. This is all so ridiculous. She should know better than to even think about doing anything her father tells her to do. Why is she struggling so much with it now?
“What if we’re making a mistake? Everyone always talks about how much they love their kids and how they couldn’t imagine life without them. Just look how how happy Chris and Mallory are with the twins. It might would help fix some of this shit. My father would be delighted and he would leave us alone. There would be no need for him to bother us. You have Cormac. You got the opportunity to be a dad. What if I’m being stupid by not wanting to be a mother?” She’s freaking out about this a lot more than usual and she doesn’t understand why. “I know that this is dumb, trust me, I really do know. I just can’t help these stupid thoughts in my head. Everything my father says just digs at me until I feel like I’m going to break.”

“Ava, trust me. We’ll be so much happier together without children. We’re barely functional by ourselves. We came from really messy pasts and you and I are definitely not your typical person. We can’t do what we enjoy anymore. We enjoy so many adult things, having a kid would literally frustrate us to the point of a divorce like it did to my other relationship. Our dynamic wouldn’t be able to handle it, Ava. We would fall out so many times in front of that poor child and just traumatize them. I don’t think it’s smart for us to have kids. We’re not the family type, and that’s okay. We shouldn’t— rather you shouldn’t— feel ashamed for it.” This is what their bedtime talks were for. They would talk through each other’s thoughts and just bond over it. But having a kid would interrupt even that.

Hiding her face in his neck, she sighs. She knows that he’s right but there’s still that stupid nagging part of her mind that keeps saying ‘what if’. Nothing would bring her greater joy that killing that little nuisance. Having a kid would be selfish and dumb. She sure as hell isn’t the parenting type and she knows that Cameron doesn’t want another one after what happened with his ex. A kid means no time for just them and no doing the things she likes to do. The more he talks about how bad of an idea it is the better she feels. This is just what she needed: someone to talk her out of the mess she created for herself. She slowly begins to calm back down. Everything seems much simpler now. She’s not going to bring some poor kid into the world just because her father wants her to. If it comes down to it then she’ll just have to be straight with him and tell him to fuck off.
“Okay.” Thats the only word she can say at the moment but it’s acceptance.

Cameron rubbed her back and leaned into her with a soft sigh, kissing the top of her head. He knew how rough it was for her to say no to her father. Cameron barely said no to his own father (though Lachlan was a genuinely nice guy with a nice relationship with his son), he couldn’t imagine what Ava was feeling. He laid down along the couch and propped his head up, rubbing her back still.
“Good. Okay is a good start.”

Ava takes a deep breath and slightly tilts her head up so she can look at him. At least she has him. She’d probably be a mess if he wasn’t in her life. The paitence he shows her when dealing with family drama makes her feel incredibly guilty for dumping all of this shit on him at once. No one deserves that. Least of all Cameron. She studies him for a moment longer before tucking her face back against his neck, content to just lay there.
“Thank you, Cameron.”