forum Turns out Trauma is a Good Thing to Bond Over // OxO with Iris

Started October 19, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

Cameron nodded a little bit. "Yeah…why would you think it didn't need attention?" he asked, eyebrows still creased faintly. He didn't understand Cal's behavior, much of the time. It just didn't make any sense.

For most, they might consider how to phrase the answer in a lighter fashion. Cal however, didn’t have much experience filtering his words. “No one ever told me they needed any before. Just rinse it and cover it up. If it got bad, you didn’t have the ability to say so,” he said, looking down at his feet for a second. He felt exposed as he sat there, especially at the snaking line down his spine and the several dark spots up and down his arms from small burns. “If it was a risk to bleed out, it was often better,” Cal added quickly. He left out the part to where he had been an exception. He was treated with limited supplies, in the dark, by his own kind. None of them had experience and could only stop the bleeding. The gash stung for weeks.

Cameron closed his eyes for a moment. Being a Berserker meant he got a lot of injuries while fighting, but they'd always been well-treated. Even when the Empire had been controlling him and his kind, the Empire had taken good care of their wounds, if only to ensure that they wouldn't die. "That's…that's terrible, Calixto."

Cal shrugged. Honestly, he had no idea why he was telling Cameron everything so freely. Sure, he seemed to care, but even so, his past was depressing for both parties.
“It was as it was,” he whispered, looking back up at the Berserker sitting with his eyes shut. Was this… pity in his expression? It felt… well, he didn’t know what it was. It was a queasy feeling he felt at being pitied.

He opened his eyes, looking at Calixto and shaking his head a little bit. "It shouldn't have been like that." he said softly. "It's…it's not…" he shook his head again, raking his hands through his hair.

Cal shook his head. “No, it really shouldn’t have been,” he restated bluntly. “It shouldn’t have been so awful for you either,” he added, already starting to shift to the side to lay down again. He spared a few glances at Cameron to give the sign that he was being careful. Now turned to the side, the largest of his injuries was in full view. The skin had knit closed, but was now entirely another color from the rest of him. It looked as if he was cut open and then shut haphazardly.

He bit his lip a little at the sight of the skin, shaking his head a little bit and hissing through his teeth. "Fuck, Calixto, that looks…bad." he said, shaking his head again. His own scars weren't pretty, but they had been taken care of and didn't look nearly as bad. Most were just raised, pale lines in his skin that had healed over pretty well.

Calixto blinked a moment before realizing what Cameron meant. He looked away at that moment and said nothing. It was something he probably couldn’t talk about without breaking down. And that would be entirely embarrassing. He didn’t want to talk about himself anymore. He felt too exposed.

"Sorry." he said softly, looking away and closing his eyes for a moment. He didn't know what to do now, really. What to say about any of this. He still thought it horrible that Calixto had been treated so very badly.

Calixto sighed, still tired of hearing constant apologies from Cameron. “Just… forget about it,” he stated, suddenly wishing he had a blanket or something. Not because he was cold, but just to hide himself.

"I… alright." He said slowly. "I…" He trailed off, shaking his head a little. "Do you need anything?" He asked after a moment of silence. He didn't like all this sitting here. He would rather be moving and doing something, anything, rather than this strange, awkward inactivity that they were trapped in.

Cal had to bite back the snarky remark he had considered making. I need you to stop asking. I need you to stop apologising for things that don't concern you.
"No. Just go do whatever you normally do," he replied. He hated feeling stared at like some charity case despite the fact he was being cared for. Nothing felt right. Why did it make so much sense to be angry at the world and silent than to accept that someone was good for once?

"I don't want to leave you alone, what if you need help?" he asked, a little uncertain about this idea. He did want to go out for a run or something, but he didn't think he should leave Cal alone like this, in bed and unable to move.

"I'm not going to rip the stitches if that's what you mean," he replied with a sigh. Cal didn't tend to get bored lying in silence. He'd done it for years and the quiet was secretly missed instead of a doting host. Who knows? He might get some sleep.

"Or if you need food, or water?" Cameron replied, fidgeting for a moment. "I don't want to leave if you need help." he didn't know why he was being so…hovering, he just didn't want Cal to get hurt any more.

"If you're planning to be gone for that long, just put something close or I'll get it myself," he argued, looking over his bare shoulder. "Just… go and do what you need to do or whatever," he finished with a sigh. Leave me behind. That's what you're supposed to do. Why don't you act like you're supposed to…?

"Okay. Fine. I'll be back in a bit." he replied, bringing some water and a snack over just in case. He almost headed out the door, then remembered he needed to put a patch and dye on. He disappeared into the bathroom, coming out ten minutes later with dye on his skin and in his hair, and a patch over the tattoo on his jaw. He slipped on shoes and headed out the door.

As soon as the door shut with a light click, Cal visibly relaxed. "Of course I manage to find myself with the one human I can't understand," he muttered under his breath. Running a hand over his face, he massaged his temples a moment before staring at the angry scar on his chest. He could almost imagine his organs moving in tandem with another staring up at him were the wound much deeper and uncared for. But reality showed neat and pristine stitching that seemed to be holding quite well. Cal shut his eyes again. He didn't want to think about anything that happened over the last few days. Especially about the fact that the quiet seemed a touch less welcoming than it normally did. His flesh enjoyed the comfort of being cared about as it warred against the trained mentality forced upon him. Attachment lead nowhere. But there were signs that it did in his thoughts before he forced himself to at least try and sleep.

Cameron soon broke into a run, needing the exercise, needing a way to get out all the excess energy that had been building up inside of him in the past day. As a Berserker, he needed to burn the extra energy, just to help keep from losing control, and running was a good way to do that, as sparring was too dangerous. Sparring could give him away.

Considering Calixto's build, he theoretically could be trained to spar. It would take time, but it could be a method of self defense. Something the two of them could do somehow. Grow closer. But he was already insistent he leave the strangely kind Berserker as soon as he was completely healed.
It was strange somehow as he found rest. It wasn't haunted by nightmares nor complete darkness. However, it wasn't something that was immediately identifiable as pleasant. He was in a place that wasn't recognisable in the slightest, but he was outside. There was freedom. Green fields of grass in the distance and a cool breeze. It was again something that didn't exactly feel right, but still better than any previous dream.

(also i swear i'm developing short term memory so sorry if i told you this: i've made a hint at a cameo for the future Cal and Cameron after they officially been dating a while in another rp uwu)

Cameron kept running, heading down the road to get out of town, heading towards the forest. He'd come back in a little while, but once he was in the forest he could really open up and just run, without having to avoid other people or carriages or anything. Just him and the road and the wind.

(kdsgjfh no you didn't! Where?)

Was it because he was secretly lonely? Mirros were very similar to human kind in the way that they were social creatures. His trust in humanity was so beaten down however it was hard to consider attempting anything. Then again… Cameron didn't seem to care. Despite being different from his own kind, Cameron was still human. And Cameron didn't seem to mind him. Stars, why did his thoughts continue in his sleep as well?