forum "I'll take your heart out with a spoon." OxO // CLOSED

Started March 08, 2021 by @cryptic-glitch

tune

"I might," he said, looking at Razielle, his eyes wide and dark. "I could. I just need to you watch me, okay?" Simon scowled. "Look at me. I already did three stupid things today." He leaned away from Razielle, afraid to touch him.

Raz sighed softly and shrugged "I'm no better, and I'm sober." He joked, petting Spooks as she came over. "It wasn't about Anaele, was it? Back in heaven after we visited the memorial. Gabriel wasn't around when I came back. Did something happen when I wasn't looking? If you're worried I'll tell him or something, don't be. He's a good angel at heart but has a superiority complex. You're not entirely wrong about and Urielle."

"No. Um. Gabriel said some. . . shitty things. And it made me angry. So I had to leave. So I didn't hurt you more." He ruffled his hair, looking at the ground. "I just. . . I was being irrational."

"more?" Raz whispered softly, trying to catch Simon's eyes. "I don't think it was irrational. Somone said something you didn't like dnd you reacted with anger. That's normal Simon." He reasoned. "Besides, Gabriel can be…something otherworldly sometimes."

"I know that. . . but he said some things that were true. And maybe he said it to make me angry. But I still. . . I feel so stupid." He didn't look at Razielle, because he didn't want to see sympathy in the angel's eyes.

"what did he say?" Raz questioned, giving up on trying to look at Simon and instead cuddling with Spooks. "So you were angry because he was right?" He mused softly, nodding slightly. "Maybe he's jelous." He laughed softly "probably after this whole thing, Urielle can't be happy with him."

"He said that I was hurting you. And that I should leave you alone. So I did. And then you got into all sorts of trouble and I couldn't let you just die." He tightened his hands into fists.

Raz' brows turned up in confusion. "Hurting me? Simon you aren't hurting me. Well, maybe when we first met, yes. But not now." He scooted a bit closer but still didn't touch the other. "I wasn't going to die. I wanted to make that deal. Its not I'd be actually dead. Just gone for a while." He explained with a shrug. "It would have been worth it if Anaele came back."

"No, it wouldn't. Do you honestly think I'd be happy knowing that you traded yourself for Annie?" SImon pressed his hands against the floor in an attempt to get rid of the tension building in his body. The alcohol's effect was already fading, and he could feel the itch returning to his skin.

Raz shrugged "you'd get over it soon." He muttered, occasionally peeking at Simon. "you know drinking isn't any better than drug abuse right?" He said, brows creased in worry. "Might feel fine now but eventually you'll need more to keep that feeling of calm." He explained

"I'm not stupid, Razielle," Simon said angrily. "I don't know why you feel the need to tell me that." He glanced at Razielle, his wings puffing up.

"so you claim. Yet I see you doing exactly the opposite. Raz retorted, glaring at Simon's fluffed wings. He shrugged and went back up on the couch. "Get some sleep Simon. You'll feel better in the morning."

"I feel perfectly fine," he lied. "I don't need you to parent me. I can take care of myself." He shifted backward, away from Razielle. "I've already slept today."

"so I'm assuming the shaking is because you feel so great?" Raz muttered from his corner on the couch. "Hey, you're the one who told me to watch over you." He arched an eyebrow and took a deep breath.

"Don't tell me how I feel," Simon growled. "And I asked you to keep me from doing something stupid. Like self-harm, or drugs. Not to mother me."

Raz sat up slowly, clutching a pillow to himself. "Has that happened before?" He asked softly. "We're you going to do it again?" He tried to steady his breathing but the mere thought of Simon doing something like that to himself…he shook his head.

Simon narrowed his eyes. "Does it matter?" He didn't like that Razielle was picking apart his sentences. "I don't see the benefit from you knowing the answer to that question."

"yes of course it matters Simon! Why wouldn't it?" Raz stood, chucking the pillow aside. "It doesn't matter what benefit you find in, I care about you and your safety, that's reason enough to know!" His own wings fluffed up as he yelled.

Simon raised one eyebrow, surprised. "I didn't realize that you cared that much. Yes, I've done it before. I'm not planning to do it again, but that doesn't mean much, does it?"

"why wouldn't I?" He muttered, pacing the room a bit to calm himself down. He nodded slightly "it can if you actually believe you won't." He paced to the kitchen, needing to occupy himself with making something. "When was the last time?" He asked softly as he started to make tea

Simon sighed, irritated, but said, "Three weeks ago. Really, I don't see how this is helping anything."

"three weeks ago?" He whispered, trying his best not to show his mortified face. "Have you told anyone else about this? Like a therapist or doctor?"

"Obviously," Simon said. "What do you take me for? Jesus Christ." He shook his head. "The cuts are nearly all healed by now."