forum "I'll take your heart out with a spoon." OxO // CLOSED

Started March 08, 2021 by @cryptic-glitch

tune

Raz released a sigh in relief and nodded slightly. "That's good." He murmured, pouring the tea into two mugs. He came back over ttho e living room and passed Simon a cup before settling comfortably on the couch.

Simon glared at the mug that Razielle had given me. "Why are you so concerned with my well-being? If I recall correctly, I've not been the nicest to you."

"no but you're not the worst person I've met. Besides, what reason would I have to treat you poorly after getting to know you a bit?" Raz asked innocently, looking up at the other from the edge of his own mug. "what exactly did Gabriel say?"

"Word for word, he said, 'it's funny that you say that actually, considering that you were the one who hurt him first. Or am I wrong to assume that Razielle had those nasty bruises and patches on his wings prior to ever meeting you? I don't have to guilt trip you. You just have to look at him, and the pain that you've caused and you'll guilt trip yourself,'" Simon quoted.

Raz swore beneath his breath and shook his head "that angel has never been good at keeping his mouth shut." He muttered. He looked at Simon, watching his movements and expression. "Do you feel guilty when I'm around you? Even after my wings have healed and everything else?"

"Why wouldn't I feel guilty? I hurt you." Simon looked at Razielle, tilting his head. "You're looking at me like you're either about to kiss me or smack me and it's freaking me out."

Raz looked away and pressed his wings to his back, subconsciously trying to hide them. He shook his head "sorry. For both making you guilty and looking at you." He slowly stood, slightly swaying on his legs. "I'm gonna go…" He murmured softly, glancing at Simon and offering a departing smile.

“You okay?” Simon said. “You look a little. . . unsteady.” Inwardly he winced. I’m one to talk, he thought. “You don’t have to apologize, you know. I’m sure I’ve done the same thing to you.”

Raz hook his head "you haven't, at least none that I've noticed or made me uncomfortable." He looked back over his shoulder. "If I'm not around, you can't feel guilty, right?"

Simon smiled slightly. “I don’t think that’s how that works, Raz. I don’t think I’ll ever not feel guilty. By no fault of yours, I must say.”

Raz sighed, so utterly confused and mentally exhausted. He leaned against the door and slumped to the ground, knees pulled to his chest as he tried to sort out his thoughts. "I guess you're right. But how is it not my fault if what you're guilty of includes me?" He shook his head "I don't want you to feel guilty Simon." He whispered.

“It. . . I just. . . I feel guilty because I made a stupid decision, and you were caught in the crossfire.” Simon watched Razielle, an emotion he couldn’t describe making his chest ache.

Raz nodded slightly. He knew he couldn't make Simon's guilt go away anytime soon but he didn't want Simon to look at him as a representation of that guilt. He scooted forwards a bit so that he's closer to Simon but didn't reach out to touch him. "I'm okay now." He whispered reassuringly.

Simon frowned slightly. “Um. Thanks. I guess.” He tilted his head down. “Look, about what I said earlier, when I was drunk. . . I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought I should you should know. And I know that wasn’t exactly the place or the time for that. So sorry.”

Raz nodded and looked away, trying his best not to think about last night. "It's alright. You weren't exactly thinking straight and I could have had a better reaction than I did." Raz found it interesting that Simon didn't take back what he had said. "I-im not all that great in relationships. I didn't mean to shove that aside or anything like that, it was just…surprising I guess."

“Like I said, I’m sorry. I make enough bad decisions for the whole of New York.” He shook his head, making his hair fluff up.

Raz shook his head frantically "no! No it's not like that. I mean, I don't think it was a bad decision, I just…" Raz huffed a sigh and plopped his head against the couch cushions. "Words and feelings are hard, ya know? But I'm not mad that you said that or anything." He paused for a moment and scratched Spook's head. "So that long, huh? How come you never talked to me or something?"

“Because. You seemed so. . . removed from me, I guess. Most of it was just that I was afraid to mess shit up.” He shrugged. “And I think Annie was a little bit jealous.”

"I was pretty removed from most angels. I never had many close friends, even as a kid. I honestly don't think you would have. If anything I would have been just as anxious trying to talk to you." He laughed softly and tilted his head. "From what you've told me about Anaele, I don't think I would been any threat to him or your relationship. I meant It when I said I would have loved to have met the both of you when we were younger."

“No, I meant that I think Anaele liked me.” Simon glanced at Raz quickly, his ears red. “I don’t think he would have minded so much, looking back, but I didn’t want to make him upset.”

Raz arched his eyebrows in surprise, while he had rarely if ever interacted with the two, he had always thought of them.as brotherly than romantic. Though it sort of made sense now that he thought about. Two people who seemed to understand each other on such a deep level were bound to have some feelings towards one another.
"Like I said before, I don't think that I would have been much competition, especially compared to them." He laughed lightly. "It would have been nice, maybe not dating but at least to have two friends."

Simon shrugged. He didn’t particularly like to think about this topic, especially now that Anaele was gone and Razielle knew about his feelings. He pulled at the carpet piling, yanking out a few threads.

Raz anced away and rubbed his eyes. "Don't worry, this is new for me too." He muttered softly, glancing over at Simon as Spooks joined them and tugged at the loose carpet strands. " I didn't get the chance to thank you before. With Lucifer and stuff. It was stupid ofe to go down there and expect him to fullfill a deal without loopholes."