forum Do you really want to trust insanity? (Private with Icefire, it's pretty fooking mature, matey)

Started December 04, 2019 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

He shrugged slightly. "I…I don't…I don't know." he whispered.

"Okay then," Gabe said gently.

He stayed pressed up to Gabe, unsure of what to do now, but knowing that he didn't want to let go of the other man.

Gabe had both arms wrapped around Alex, eyelids drooping. He was still exhausted. His head nodded a little, but he stayed upright holding Alex.

Alex leaned into Gabe, taking a deep breath.

Eventually, Gabe had to lay down. He carefully shifted Alex, laying so he was still holding the other man.

Alex curled up against him, closing his eyes. He didn't understand why Gabe was so kind and so open to this, to holding him like this, but he wasn't going to argue.

Gabe slowly closed his eyes, arms wrapped around Alex and head leaning against him.
" 'm sorry," he mumbled, "I'm just too tired to sit up…"

"'s alright." Alex replied softly, still cuddled up to Gabe's chest, breathing quietly, having calmed down.

Gabe's breathing eventually slowed, and he feel asleep.

Alex stayed snuggled up with him, eventually dropping off to sleep as well, still curled up against the bigger male.

Gabe woke up in the morning to Alex next to him, unable to hold back a little smile.

Alex was still asleep, cuddled up to Gabe with a contented little smile on his face.

Gabe lightly put his hand on Alex's head, not wanting to wake him up. Gabe slowly slid away, having to get up.

Alex shifted a little when Gabe moved, and sighed quietly, but didn't awaken.

Gabe stood up, carefully tucking Alex in with the blanket to keep him warm. He quietly started to get ready. When he was done, he had a bit of time before needing to head out, so perhaps reading the diary would be a good idea.

Alex stayed curled on the bed, not waking up. The diary lay on the sidetable still.

Gabe sat down, picking the diary up and flipping to about where he had stopped last time.

Alex kept sleeping.

i don't know how much longer i can go on with this. like this. I see…things. Ghosts. i always have. but there are so many here, i can't do this. too many. too many and they're screaming, screaming, all the time, all the time and it never stops.

Gabe blinked a couple times. So, that's what Alex had been seeing when he had his episodes. That would be helpful information indeed. He glanced over at the sleeping man.
"Poor thing," he said softly.

it doesn't stop. And the attendants lock me up on my own and i can't do anything but see them screaming all the time, always screaming and i can't do this. i can't. if i say anything then it's just somehow proof of insanity, but i'm not, i'm not, i can't be.

Alex was in denial. He saw things, ghosts, things no one else could prove, and he didn't want to admit they weren't really there. Gabe looked at Alex, feeling so bad for him. The way he had been handled… It was sickening. There were so many better ways to have handled this.

There was a break for a while, then a new diary entry.

I think i killed one of the attendants. he was trying to put me in the water again for the water therapy and i was fighting and screaming and he fell. he wasnt getting up and now im in solitary and i think hes dead. The handwriting was rushed, hurried and desperate, the page blotted with tears.

Gabe was worried by this, but it also explained a lot. Alex thought he had killed this man. Maybe he thought he might accidentally do that to Gabe too. No wonder he didn't think he was a good person. Gabe sighed, finally closing the diary. That was enough for now. He understood more about Alex, more than he could have hoped for.

Alex kept sleeping, curled up on the bed with his brown hair fanning out on the pillows.