forum writing club. (Open)
Started by @IcarusFightsTheSun book
tune

people_alt 111 followers

@im-with-stoopid pets

Not me considering expanding this one character's already very confusing family tree by three

I’ve seen confusing family trees in real life. Do it.

Alright then!
Anyways now Salmook has a cousin

@im-with-stoopid pets

I've got to make a Familyecho or something for Rhiv's family because this man's family has taken up a nice 75% of my characters

Ok so I made a FamilyEcho-
Definitely not confusing!

Deleted user

Not me considering expanding this one character's already very confusing family tree by three

do it

@im-with-stoopid pets

May or may not have picked up the habit of referring to mothers and fathers as "materns" and "paters" in my writing because Latin is neat, but now I have no idea what to call other family relations because they don't translate as well-

Sister - Soror
Brother - Frater
Aunt - Matertera
Uncle - Avunculus
Grandmother - Avia
Grandfather - Avus
(Note: Translations from Google Translate, so take what's here with a grain of salt.)

True, "matern" is a slight deviation from the actual translation "mater," but it's close enough to words like "maternal" that it's not too hard to guess. Making a new word for "uncle" is the big sticking point because two of the protags have uncles that are important.
Long story short, the words are not wording.

@im-with-stoopid pets

I've been considering using spelling corruptions instead? Like, instead of "uncle," it's "onkle?"
Feels a bit off having characters to just throw those around, though.

@spacebluelily language

so…i was writing something for a drabble (which feels like I might end up turning it into a full-on fic, even if there is the possibility of it to be uncompleted,,,) but i was wondering if this was er…okay?

“You’ll be safe here,” a tall blonde man murmurs to the boy who was sleeping unrestfully in his arms. He moves tufts of blonde hair from the child’s face, before turning to look at the mortal in front of him. “He will be safe here, won’t he?”

The mortal, a middle-aged lady with black-graying hair, nods and smiles. There is something off, something sinister about the smile, but the blonde man doesn’t notice this. “Don't worry, sir. The child will be perfectly safe at our orphanage. I can promise you that he'll be absolutely happy here."

The man hesitates for a moment, before nodding and handing over the child to the matron. If he had known the things that would befall his son in that orphanage, he wouldn’t have handed him over.

But as it was, there were things that were hidden, even to the god of prophecy.

Deleted user

so…i was writing something for a drabble (which feels like I might end up turning it into a full-on fic, even if there is the possibility of it to be uncompleted,,,) but i was wondering if this was er…okay?

“You’ll be safe here,” a tall blonde man murmurs to the boy who was sleeping unrestfully in his arms. He moves tufts of blonde hair from the child’s face, before turning to look at the mortal in front of him. “He will be safe here, won’t he?”

The mortal, a middle-aged lady with black-graying hair, nods and smiles. There is something off, something sinister about the smile, but the blonde man doesn’t notice this. “Don't worry, sir. The child will be perfectly safe at our orphanage. I can promise you that he'll be absolutely happy here."

The man hesitates for a moment, before nodding and handing over the child to the matron. If he had known the things that would befall his son in that orphanage, he wouldn’t have handed him over.

But as it was, there were things that were hidden, even to the god of prophecy.

What's media is the fic for (out of curiosity)?
I think it's good :) I have a couple minor critiques though (if that's what you're looking for)

@spacebluelily language

so…i was writing something for a drabble (which feels like I might end up turning it into a full-on fic, even if there is the possibility of it to be uncompleted,,,) but i was wondering if this was er…okay?

“You’ll be safe here,” a tall blonde man murmurs to the boy who was sleeping unrestfully in his arms. He moves tufts of blonde hair from the child’s face, before turning to look at the mortal in front of him. “He will be safe here, won’t he?”

The mortal, a middle-aged lady with black-graying hair, nods and smiles. There is something off, something sinister about the smile, but the blonde man doesn’t notice this. “Don't worry, sir. The child will be perfectly safe at our orphanage. I can promise you that he'll be absolutely happy here."

The man hesitates for a moment, before nodding and handing over the child to the matron. If he had known the things that would befall his son in that orphanage, he wouldn’t have handed him over.

But as it was, there were things that were hidden, even to the god of prophecy.

What's media is the fic for (out of curiosity)?
I think it's good :) I have a couple minor critiques though (if that's what you're looking for)

percy jackson
and critiques are welcomed!

Deleted user

I see!

There is something off, something sinister about the smile, but the blonde man doesn’t notice this.

If you're trying to make it seem more secret that the woman is malicious, it would help not mention that the smile is sinister (though I'd keep the part about the father having suspicions). Just a small suggestion more than it is a critique, and it's your choice :)

Ik I said a couple but this is it. lol

@spacebluelily language

I see!

There is something off, something sinister about the smile, but the blonde man doesn’t notice this.

If you're trying to make it seem more secret that the woman is malicious, it would help not mention that the smile is sinister (though I'd keep the part about the father having suspicions). Just a small suggestion more than it is a critique, and it's your choice :)

Ik I said a couple but this is it. lol

ah, thank you!

@IcarusFightsTheSun book

([insert absolute dread about trying to write a book, cause somehow i can't get it in my head that the first draft doesn't need to be perfect and i literally have all the time in the world.])