forum Virtual Creative Writing Club, anyone?

Started July 06, 2019 by @ninja_violinist

tune

This is amazing!!! It's really melodic and rhythmic and I was already humming along before I knew it was meant to be songwriting - that's amazing! I haven't ever written lyrics myself (bc how poetry??) but I've composed to quite a few and this would work really well! You did a really good job!!
There are a few bits where the rhythm leads to an awkward emphasis if you're saying it out loud - for example, I’m no hero, that’s for sure/I’m not a messiah, nor the cure makes me want to rush over "I'm not a" so I can still emphasise "messiah" and I'm not sure whether that's the most effective way to put it (not sure how to explain this so it makes sense) but that's just nitpicks.
Content-wise, I really enjoyed that too! It's so hopeful and passionate - I don't know anything about the character but I'm already rooting for them! I really liked the phrase "my past is not the person I've become" - it beautifully repackages a concept I've heard before into something new!

In conclusion this is amazing and I really enjoyed it!

Might I suggest, for the I'm no hero, that's for sure/I'm not a messiah, nor the cure, were you specifically avoided the repetition of "I'm no?" If not, I think it would flow better if the "I'm not a" was simply changed to match the previous phrase. If you did avoid using this, feel free to ignore me :)

I see what you guys mean about the clunkiness. That’s actually a bit that’s been bugging me, but I couldn’t quite figure out why. I’ll see what I can do to fix it

In general, I’m glad you like it Ninja! I’m sure Val appreciates the support, somewhere underneath the emotionless soldier exterior. I’m also incredibly glad that line struck you that way, as that was kind of the purpose

Okay one, Crocs, that's really cool. Two, can I join this?? I love the idea!

So this isn't based off of a prompt, but rather the soundtrack I'm listening to right now and partly Doctor Who lol: Skyrim Soundtrack

And the days turn to dust, as the three suns sink below the horizon. The water is clear, and healthy, yet teeming with bacteria, flesh eating bacteria. The moon's illogical heat beats down on the two travelers, as they trek across to find the monument, the ghost monument. Perhaps, perhaps it will give them the answers they seek. Fading in and out, the Ghost Monument appears only on the brightest, most dangerous night, tonight. The Ribbons, they flit around as they circle and entangle and trap the travelers. Help, they cry, but no help comes. The natives know better. Their hearts cry out and break into a million pieces, yet they refuse to go out. Yet behold! Here comes the Ghost Monument, here to save the day. A man is there, the Doctor, he says he is. He points his strange light at the Ribbons, and they fall to the ground, ashes they have become.

---

I have had no writing inspiration to post anything on here and now there it goes, fleeing just as quickly as it comes.

@Icefire Please join! We'd love to have you on board!

@izzyandviolins I really enjoyed reading that!! In the beginning reading it felt like watching an establishing shot in a movie, which is a really cool effect!! My only concern is that I don't always understand some of the punctuation choices? Some commas feel like they're not absolutely necessary, and they took me out of the flow a bit (for example, is it necessary to separate "and healthy" from "clean"?). I also wonder if paragraphs might make it easier to read?
Other than that, excellent job!!

Aaaaand it's Tuesday again!

Here's this week's music prompt, "Last Sunset" by Frederik Wiedmann [from Netflix's The Dragon Prince]:

The image, "Anonymous" by Pascal Campion- I've linked his website but you can also find him on instagram, Facebook and Deviantart:

and the word prompt, from the poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"by Robert Frost (click the title to read the whole thing):

Totally joining this

Me too.

Joins

Those last prompts… I sooo wanna make a movie scene out of them.

Welcome, everyone :D

Thanks! I'm working on something inspired by your prompts at this very moment. I'll post it later.

Woah this is a really cool idea. Can I join?

Absolutely!! This is free for anyone to join at any point they want to!

Oh cool thanks!

So this is what I wrote based off today's prompts. Imagine it like a movies scene, with that song playing in the background (or even better, listen to the song while reading it) and the sound of rain and everything. I'd love some feedback.

Catherine screamed.

Screamed out of despair, screamed out of pain, screamed out of sorrow.

Screamed 'til she couldn't even scream anymore.

It was all wet. Her face was wet from tears. Her entire body was wet from the rain. The ground was soaking too. And his body was wet. His body was wet in her arms, but not only from water. Not only from the rain. His body was soaking of blood.

She paniced, she sobbed, she couldn't see clear. She was shaking, she was leaning over his body and she couldn't breath. This couldn't be true.

The second time she screamed, all the crows lifted from their spots in the trees and flew away. Not even they could stand the deathening feeling of pure pain that excisted in the forrest at that moment.

When her lungs barely could breath, when the black ink of sorrow had spread through her heart and out her system, Catherine looked up. She sat there for split of a second and she carefully closed his eyes. She got up, looked at him for the last time and then she ran.

She didn't stop. And neither did the rain. She had miles to go and a mission to complete. None of them stopped when she got to the city. None of them stopped when she walked the streets. None of them stopped when the crows came back and sat down on the sidewalk around her. None of them stopped when the crows flew and none of them stopped when she saw the door.

Catherine stopped when she knocked on the door. The rain didn't. But something else would stop just seconds later.

The heart of his killer was behind that door. And Catherine would be the reason that it stopped.

Soooo this is embarrassing….I can't view Pinterest links, so which part of the poem is the writing prompt?

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep,"

Aahh thank you so much!

Np bro I got you <3

The birds screeched as they clustered, they clustered around the little girl. "Help me!" she cried. Trapped in a spacesuit, she walked slowly towards me, crying out in her little girl voice. But she rose up before she could reach me, wrapped in the Ribbons, and the Moon glares at me, taunting me. "Help me!" she cries out once again. "Mr. President, please help me!" But I cannot go anywhere, for I am held back by the Ribbons, who control my every movement. It does not help that the forest, which extends for acres on end, and to dizzying heights, surrounds me, surrounds us all. But here comes the man again, the little boy. He pulls out his little device and kills the little girl. "What have you done?" I screech. "You have killed an innocent little girl!" He walks up to me. "It was all for a good cause," he says in my head. I can do nothing as he leaves. "Aren't you going to save us?" I ask, I call out. But of course, no is his answer. The little boy, he always comes back but do nothing useful. He walks away into the distance, until he cannot be seen no more. The only thing to now watch is the space suit crumpled on the ground, and the little girl tears herself out of it and walks away. "You refused to help me, Mr. President" and with that she walked away. Mr. President? Precisely three years ago my term ended already. I am no longer president! I wake up in a cold sweat, in my own bed, but in the same forest. "Where am I?" I yell. My voice echoes around for miles. I scream and yell until my voice gives out, and then, I am no more. I am everywhere, I am everything. I am nowhere, I am nothing. No, I am The Nothing. The Nothingness that surrounds everything. Goodbye, I whisper to all my loved ones as I fade away and give up to the Nothing.

Inspired by the writing prompt:

The tall man looked up at the woods around him. He was deep inside them, and through patches of leaves he could catch glimpses of the stars. It was so quiet, peaceful. But he still had a long way to go. So long, and so far, before he could rest. The duties of an immortal never ended.

He sighed, and continued walking. His strides covered the miles as if they were but inches, his pace quick and tireless.

"You promised."** Said a soft voice when he arrived. **"Will you follow through?"

"Of course I will." He replied, ruffling the hair of the little girl. "I always make good on my promises." He snapped his fingers, and her family appeared. Back, from where they had been taken to.

The little girl squealed with joy, and ran to her family, forgetting all about him.

He smiled, and continued walking. He was stopped by an old man.

"You promised." Said the old man in a raspy, creaky voice.

"I know." Said the immortal, and he pressed his thumb to the old man's head.

The old man's body became young again, his eyes bright with youth. And he ran off to enjoy his new life, and forgot about the immortal.

The immortal continued on, until he met a young prince who knelt in the ashes of his burned kingdom, a broken crown on his head. "What is your wish?" He asked the prince.

"I want my kingdom back." The prince said.

The immortal took a deep breath, and returned the prince his kingdom.

"Thank you." The prince said. He left, but soon forgot the immortal.

The immortal gave a sigh, and continued onwards. All he wanted was his eternal rest. All he wanted was to no longer have to do this. But until a mortal mind remembered him, he was doomed.

Miles to go before I sleep.

Am I too late to join

Nope! :)