Holy shit dude. That's insane. I love your writing style, too, and the use of sort of descriptive comparison(if that's a thing in the way I'm thinking it). It's really good!
And thank you, it is kind of a personal thing, at least to the character who 'wrote' it. I'm glad you found something to relate to in it, because that's an important thing to me, even if I'm slightly worried now.
Thank you ^^ I've been struggling with a lot of writer's block recently, so it's good to hear that it can still turn out okay
Ooh, all this creativity is giving me inspiration, I'll get something up soon eno7gh
Can't relate, I'm still stuck in what seems to be an endless cycle of writer's block
-:-Hide-:-
We all have something to hide
Some skeletons in the closet
Straining to feel the light
Shattered hearts we keep
Hiding in the deep
Of sorrow and hurt
But we continue
Smiling through our pain
We come to hide
To release our pain
The shadows beckon
'Come near, my dear'
To hurt us is a game
Pushed to our limits
We finally snap
But our voice is never heard
We put on a mask
And hide our hurt
We start to fade to grey
Broken glass, tatters and rags
The only things left behind
We take off our mask
And lay beneath grass
As we feel the warmth of the light
We all have something to hide
Skeletons in the closet
Straining to feel the light
We smile once more
And break our chains
"Free At Last"
This looks cool!!! I am so in!!! So, what's up everyone?
Not much, just finished my part for yesterday's prompt!)
Cool!!! So, should I do yesterday's prompt, or wait for the next one?
you could do yesterday's if you want!
Will do!!!
@thighighcrocs-is-not-ready-for-school i really liked your poem, as well! 'your nightmares as vivid as the sight of your alarm clock' is such a cool way of putting it. Also, it's a really interesting topic so that was very refreshing :)
@ninja_violinist
I really like your style as well! You have a great way of varying your sentence structures, it makes your writing flow very well. Also, the way you juxtapose what she sees with what she is reminded of really took me along with her, and i really got into that state of shock and panic alongside your character. I love the sentence 'The hollow phrase patters across my brain and pokes at my eyes, but I don’t cry.' Also the end is great. My only critique would be to check over some of your conjugations for the tenses. They were a bit wonky at points, but because i don't quite know what tense you were going for where i can' t quite judge which ones need to be changed.
@CW_StarkSpangledBanner your poem is also good :) i liked the lines 'skeletons in our closet/ straining to feel the light' especially. And the ending is such a change that it's really effective-and it's really cleverly ambiguous. Like i really don't know whether being free is a good thing in this case…
Anyways you're all really talented and I'm happy to get to read what you all create :)
(This sounds like such an aaweome idea, is it too late to join?)
I don't think it ever wil be too late to join :)
welcome
Hurray!
@CW_StarkSpangledBanner I also really enjoyed the new poem you wrote! The recurring images of masks and skeletons were integrated really well, and I had a lot of fun reading the poem with the image in mind. It definitely adds to the experience and interpretation of the picture.
Also, welcome aboard, @Reed!
@ninja_violinist and @cue-nervous-humming, thank you guys for your reviews!! I showed my friend this and she said the poem was good but the image was going to haunt her
Guess what? Today's Tuesday!
Musical prompt, brought to you by @Vengeful-Gay: [Turn the Lights Off by Tally Hall]
Image prompt: [ Nāve (Death), by Janis Rozentāls]
and the word prompt:
It's Tuesday and I nearly forgot about this
Music prompt [Natural by Imagine Dragons]:
the image: [by James Firnhaber, I've linked his website but you can also find him on instagram or tumblr!]
and the word prompt:
happy writing y'all!
Inspired by the picture. It's still a bit rough but I'd love some feedback :)
Live here
Sometimes
we wonder if he breathes the same air;
when his eyes light up, powered by some renewable source,
while we need atoms to implode and circumstances
to fuse in the nuclear reactor of coincidence
before we have motivation for anything.
Sometimes
we wonder if he breathes the same air;
watch flowers bloom as he speaks life into seedling dreams
while all around there is only the barren earth
and toxic air we all know we must breathe,
endure as our hope shrivels and dies
Sometimes
we wonder if he breathes the same air;
how come color coats his every breath and lights him up
while we struggle to find warmth anywhere;
our fingers cold and calloused by the noxious wind,
barely move because we hate how they creak.
Sometimes
we wonder if he breathes the same air;
an astronaut on our moon;
the only alive one here.
Holy crap I really love that!! I love the imagery, but I especially love the tone! I may be crazy but in the beginning it feels like there's an undertone of "I wish I could do that" which ends up shifting to "how does he that" and ends up like "how dare he do that", and then in the conclusion it's like "actually he's the most real out of all of us"
idk I really love this!! Only advice I have would be adding a bit more punctuation - for example, a comma after "our fingers" might be helpful
Thank you so much! Yes I feel like it's sort of the process anyone has when becoming jealous: first admiration, then a little bit of frustration becaus you can't emulate it, then pure jealousy and bitterness, and then acceptance, in a way, that the other person is better (whether that be true or not). I'm so glad you liked it, thank you for the feedback. Yes punctuation. My biggest enemy, right after capitalization ;) I'll correct that as soon as I can.
I tried to punctutate it… Is it a bit better now?
Yep! :D
I'll try posting something next week
I look around the battlefield
And hear the wounded’s cries
There is blood on my hands
That I don’t recognize
{Eyes locked forward
Marching onward
But I’m not one of you
I am a revolution}
My past, does not define the person I am now
My eyes, are locked ahead but not for you
Fixated on a brighter future, the time is now
I’m fighting for those lost, burning the plans you drew
{Eyes locked forward
Marching onward
But I’m not one of you
I am a revolution}
I’m no hero, that’s for sure
I’m not a messiah, nor the cure
But I’m a bringer of the revolution
Fighting for the path we’re choosing
{Eyes locked forward
Marching onward
But I’m not one of you
I am a revolution}
Sing a song of revolution, calling forth the god of war
Sing a song of revolution, till I am lying on the floor
I’m righting all my wrong decisions, a full repent for what I’ve done
My past is not the person I’ve become
Eyes locked forward
Marching onward
I am a revolution
I am a revolution
Not based off any of the prompts once again, and actually a slightly older one I'm looking for thoughts and advice on. I hope that bit is alright. This was one of my first attempts at song writing, inspired by a character of mine that's near and dear to my heart.