Hey yall apparently the CIA dropped some documents that say we live in a "energy holorgram" and need to be prepared to see "non-corporeal energy forms" I think this is another check on the apocalypse bingo
What O.O
Here's the documents: https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf
Why can't my mom remember what foods I like and don't like? She's made oatmal for breakfast five times now and every time I say "I don't like oatmeal, remember?" and she says "I thought you said you did?" Same thing with tomatoes and non fishstick fish. You only have me to cook for, how hard is it to keep track xD Not a big deal though. Just a funny vent.
Hey yall apparently the CIA dropped some documents that say we live in a "energy holorgram" and need to be prepared to see "non-corporeal energy forms" I think this is another check on the apocalypse bingo
What O.O
Here's the documents: https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf
That's a lot to read… but… woah ;o;
I am so tired
why is sleep so difficult
I’m so over waking up unsatisfied. I’m over sleeping for over nine fucking hours and still opening my eyes feeling as if I got two seconds of sleep as opposed to the nine. I’m tired of struggling to get out of bed because I know it’ll be painful. I’m tired of the shoulder and neck pain, I’m tired of the physical aches my body has in the morning that no dose of ibuprofen can help. It’s always there. I want my left shoulder to stop hurting already. I want my back to be as young and limber as it should be. I don’t want my calves to ache anymore. Why doesn’t anything work anymore
Oh mood
It sure would be nice to feel like I got as much sleep as I did-
Brooklyn I think that Dom asked the right question earlier, why is it you feel this way.
I think we all know what a weed is, it easily spreads , usually invasive and once it's there it's hard to get rid of. I think this issue you have is a lot like a weed. you can chop at this weed forever but it will just keep coming back. What you don't see is the massive network of roots this weed has going on under the surface, it has woven it's self deep into the soil and it is going to take some serious work to get it out of there. when you're dealing with weeds to don't go for the stem, you go for the roots.
So you have to figure out the roots of this need to say yes to people is. I know what mine is. I don't want to be alone, it terrifies me. I am the most contradictory introvert the world has ever seen, As much as I detest social interaction I am terrified of being left with out emotional connection. This manifests it's self as me being unable to let go of relationships I've already formed, even if they aren't healthy, that is my weed, and the root is an insecurity. You know what, I wont be alone, I have a pretty fabulous sister two or four of them actually, and I know that I will always have a place with them. That's how I can rip out the roots.
Your weed is an inability to say no, what is it's root. You can rip at the stalks of that weed as much as you want, but if you want it to go away you have to attack the roots.
(I apologize, not my best analogy , I've been running on 4 hours of sleep and In-In-Out for the past week)
I think it has to do with the fact that I grew up in an Asian household. I was always taught to be soft-spoken, kind, and submissive. Naturally, I try and break out of that and I'm more out-spoken then my whole family. When It comes down to saying no, there is always a lot of pressure to say yes or to try and let them off as gently as possible When it comes down to relationships, I can't say no out of the fear of running the relationship and what we have.
I actually feel you on that Brooklyn. I come from a hispanic household and it's basically the same thing. Even now, I'm being taught to take whatever shit my family throws at me, but there comes a time where you snap dude. You have to set boundaries or you'll just get taken advantage of because parent's think they own you half of the time. Or at least, that's how it was in my experience. The way I snapped was not the healthiest and it completely broke my relationship with my mother. Now I'm just full of anger and bitterness. There's not even a hint of sadness in me anymore.
The people who knew me from two years ago on this site can tell I've been through a drastic change. Sure, I was probably better off not defying my mother- and I may or may not have cried for ruining the one thing I had left, but it was the only way. I tried to set boundaries the peaceful way, but when she wouldn't listen I had to yell and get physical, because enough was enough.
You're growing Brooklyn, into an adult. And as an adult you have to be willing to make sacrifices. No family, no friendship, nothing- should be put over your happiness, your health. Because when you do, it ends up fucking with your head.
And hey, maybe it's just me saying this because I literally have no one who cares left in my life, but it shouldn't matter if you end up messing your relationships up a little if it means that you will be safe and happy. You can always work to fix them over time, and besides, if they're your family or any relationship for that matter, they more than anyone should understand. If they don't and give you hell for it, then I'm sorry to say this but maybe they don't have your best interests in mind. Of course, when I say this I don't mean for miniscule things, I'm talking about having your own space when you need it without them interrupting, staying out of your stuff, and not forcing you to do things you don't want to do.
Standing up to your family is probably one of the most hardest things you will ever do. I know it was for me. There will be disagreements, there will most likely be yelling (if your parents are that type) and it might get physcial as well.
All in all, when too much oversteps boundaries you're not comfortable with you have to be willing to put your foot down. Sometimes you have to be firm in the way you say things or else they won't get the hint and keep doing the same things over and over again.
I may have just gone on a tangent that will probably mean absolutely nothing to you, but it all starts with family man. Once you're able to stand up to your family, you'll find it much easier to say "no" to some of the other things. But take my words with a grain of salt because half of the time I don't even know what I say.
(Sorry if I'm interrupting anything)
I just got my AP scores back and while Chemistry was a 2, we all expected that, I got a 4 for both English and History so, yay me.
(Sorry if I'm interrupting anything)
I just got my AP scores back and while Chemistry was a 2, we all expected that, I got a 4 for both English and History so, yay me.
Congrats!! I only had one (APUSH) and I pulled a 5!
(Sorry if I'm interrupting anything)
I just got my AP scores back and while Chemistry was a 2, we all expected that, I got a 4 for both English and History so, yay me.Congrats!! I only had one (APUSH) and I pulled a 5!
Nice! I remember you talking about it, I'm very proud!
I didn't think I would get above a 2 on APUSH so I'm pleasantly surprised.
I actually feel you on that Brooklyn. I come from a hispanic household and it's basically the same thing. Even now, I'm being taught to take whatever shit my family throws at me, but there comes a time where you snap dude. You have to set boundaries or you'll just get taken advantage of because parent's think they own you half of the time. Or at least, that's how it was in my experience. The way I snapped was not the healthiest and it completely broke my relationship with my mother. Now I'm just full of anger and bitterness. There's not even a hint of sadness in me anymore.
The people who knew me from two years ago on this site can tell I've been through a drastic change. Sure, I was probably better off not defying my mother- and I may or may not have cried for ruining the one thing I had left, but it was the only way. I tried to set boundaries the peaceful way, but when she wouldn't listen I had to yell and get physical, because enough was enough.
You're growing Brooklyn, into an adult. And as an adult you have to be willing to make sacrifices. No family, no friendship, nothing- should be put over your happiness, your health. Because when you do, it ends up fucking with your head.
And hey, maybe it's just me saying this because I literally have no one who cares left in my life, but it shouldn't matter if you end up messing your relationships up a little if it means that you will be safe and happy. You can always work to fix them over time, and besides, if they're your family or any relationship for that matter, they more than anyone should understand. If they don't and give you hell for it, then I'm sorry to say this but maybe they don't have your best interests in mind. Of course, when I say this I don't mean for miniscule things, I'm talking about having your own space when you need it without them interrupting, staying out of your stuff, and not forcing you to do things you don't want to do.
Standing up to your family is probably one of the most hardest things you will ever do. I know it was for me. There will be disagreements, there will most likely be yelling (if your parents are that type) and it might get physcial as well.
All in all, when too much oversteps boundaries you're not comfortable with you have to be willing to put your foot down. Sometimes you have to be firm in the way you say things or else they won't get the hint and keep doing the same things over and over again.
I may have just gone on a tangent that will probably mean absolutely nothing to you, but it all starts with family man. Once you're able to stand up to your family, you'll find it much easier to say "no" to some of the other things. But take my words with a grain of salt because half of the time I don't even know what I say.
Thank you @PsychedelicMind for the advice, I realize that there are times that saying No is really important and I'm trying to improve myself in that aspect. I do say that another thing that contributes to this is that I care more about other people than I care about myself. I've been trying to take care of myself more and I realize that learning to say No is a very important step forward. I've been trying to practice by saying No to people whenever they try and offer me a snack at BJ's, I think its been pretty successful so far, lol.
(Sorry if I'm interrupting anything)
I just got my AP scores back and while Chemistry was a 2, we all expected that, I got a 4 for both English and History so, yay me.Congrats!! I only had one (APUSH) and I pulled a 5!
Nice! I remember you talking about it, I'm very proud!
I didn't think I would get above a 2 on APUSH so I'm pleasantly surprised.
I thought I'd get a 3 tops, since DBQs are a major weak point for me, and it was on my weakest era
Nice! I remember you talking about it, I'm very proud!
I didn't think I would get above a 2 on APUSH so I'm pleasantly surprised.I thought I'd get a 3 tops, since DBQs are a major weak point for me, and it was on my weakest era
I remember! I'm insanely proud of you, pulling off a five is not easy and here you are! Yours was on manifest destiny right, that's not an easy era to write about either.
I’m so over waking up unsatisfied. I’m over sleeping for over nine fucking hours and still opening my eyes feeling as if I got two seconds of sleep as opposed to the nine. I’m tired of struggling to get out of bed because I know it’ll be painful. I’m tired of the shoulder and neck pain, I’m tired of the physical aches my body has in the morning that no dose of ibuprofen can help. It’s always there. I want my left shoulder to stop hurting already. I want my back to be as young and limber as it should be. I don’t want my calves to ache anymore. Why doesn’t anything work anymore
We're gettin old, babe.
Nice! I remember you talking about it, I'm very proud!
I didn't think I would get above a 2 on APUSH so I'm pleasantly surprised.I thought I'd get a 3 tops, since DBQs are a major weak point for me, and it was on my weakest era
I remember! I'm insanely proud of you, pulling off a five is not easy and here you are! Yours was on manifest destiny right, that's not an easy era to write about either.
Thank you, I'm proud of you too <3
Yeah, mine was
Thank you @PsychedelicMind for the advice, I realize that there are times that saying No is really important and I'm trying to improve myself in that aspect. I do say that another thing that contributes to this is that I care more about other people than I care about myself. I've been trying to take care of myself more and I realize that learning to say No is a very important step forward. I've been trying to practice by saying No to people whenever they try and offer me a snack at BJ's, I think its been pretty successful so far, lol.
no problemo ! and i actually think that's a great way to start- baby steps my dude, baby steps <3
Zoom meetings are one of the awkwardest things I've ever done, but that's just me
It depends on who I'm with
When I'm discussing stuff with my close friends over Zoom it's fun, but when I'm talking to strangers for book club….not as much
in a zoom call rn
it's very awkward
someone teach me how to conversation
I’m so over waking up unsatisfied. I’m over sleeping for over nine fucking hours and still opening my eyes feeling as if I got two seconds of sleep as opposed to the nine. I’m tired of struggling to get out of bed because I know it’ll be painful. I’m tired of the shoulder and neck pain, I’m tired of the physical aches my body has in the morning that no dose of ibuprofen can help. It’s always there. I want my left shoulder to stop hurting already. I want my back to be as young and limber as it should be. I don’t want my calves to ache anymore. Why doesn’t anything work anymore
We're gettin old, babe.
ughhh hh h I swear Nate said the same fucking thing
you both are the same lmaooo
I just want to vent to/about myself, for having a nightmare last night and now being exhausted. What the fuck. Why did that bother me so badly, it wasn't even that bad, but nooo. You had to be all freaked out in the middle of the night from a fucking nightmare
in a zoom call rn
it's very awkward
someone teach me how to conversation
With whom?
I’m so over waking up unsatisfied. I’m over sleeping for over nine fucking hours and still opening my eyes feeling as if I got two seconds of sleep as opposed to the nine. I’m tired of struggling to get out of bed because I know it’ll be painful. I’m tired of the shoulder and neck pain, I’m tired of the physical aches my body has in the morning that no dose of ibuprofen can help. It’s always there. I want my left shoulder to stop hurting already. I want my back to be as young and limber as it should be. I don’t want my calves to ache anymore. Why doesn’t anything work anymore
We're gettin old, babe.
ughhh hh h I swear Nate said the same fucking thing
you both are the same lmaooo
Lollllllll.
in a zoom call rn
it's very awkward
someone teach me how to conversationWith whom?
Technically it was a discord call with facecam but it's basically the same thing
and I don't know the usernames of everyone there but altrince, lee, swim, izzy, ocean, aft, iri, and qxeen
we've been doing almost daily calls lately and it's really entertaining-