Okay, here we go.
so I came out first to a friend. she was the first person I had ever met who was asexual and I told her the day that I found out. It was really cool to share that experience with her. I dont think I would've figured out im Ace half as soon as I did if it wasnt for her. SHe was obviously accepting and it went really well.
the second person I came out to was my best friend. I told her one day at school. I just told her and she asked me for a definition, which I gave, she said okay and we moved on. we added a bunch of Ace jokes into our everyday banter and it was absolutely great to hear.
I came out to a friend in a friend group next.I had come out to them because they kept asking me who I was attracted to and making sex jokes about me and I told them I was uncomfortable. They stopped making the jokes but, they continued to not understand "how Ijust dont feel anything". That kinda sucked but the jokes stopped at least.
then I tell my mom. this was a long process. I had just recently, think within months, figured out Im ace and I really wanted to tell her but I didnt know how to do it without just sending her to websites like Aven and giving her basic definitions. ALso I was terrified to try and have that conversation so I sent her a really long email detailing what I could and giving her links to all the websites I could possibly find on asexuality. (this was not the best idea) SHe came to me the next day and we had a conversation about it, she asked me a bunch of questions, trying to make sure I understood what I was saying and that she understood what it meant to me. I was uncomfortable and nervous the whole time because I wasnt exactly ready to do that yet. She asked me lots of things that I just dont have answers to like, if I want to get married, If i would be willing to do it if I got married, and stuff like that. I think the hardest part for me was the fact that it felt like she was trying to convince me not to identify as Ace because she knows what kind of crap the Queer community gets from people, and because im a christian and she didnt want me to have to deal with the process of redefining my beliefs in regards to sexuality and she didnt want me to go through the pain that it can potentially be to be christian and queer because people are rude across all sexualities and she doesn't want me to have to constantly defend my faith to people. But I dont feel like ive had o do too much of that. I feel like people in the community tend to be some of the most accepting people because we're all bashed on so much. what I got from the whole experience of coming out to her is that even tough she accepts me and loves me as I am, she can never truly understand. and ive had to learn to be okay with that
then I came out to one of my church friends that I had thought was more liberal than others and they told me that I am "destined for celibacy… just like the gays" and that I cant get married if I don't want to have sex because then like what's the point. needless to say we grew apart after that.
I then decided to come on here and say hi and introduce myself to everyone and like come out on here, which of course was a super positive experience
then, after taking forever to work up the courage, I went to my college's LGBT+ club on campus and i came out to a whole room of people. I think a few of you already heard me talk about how amazing of an experience it was for me and how good it was to be in a group of kind queer people and feel like I belonged there. it was great.
thenI came out to one of my friends here at college that I have a lot of classes with, I literally see them every day. it's great. I came out to them when they asked me what my experience with the abstinence sex talks we got at church and I realised that there was absolutely no way to answer without coming out. It was a great experience and she asked a lot of good questions and I felt like I was able to adequately answer most of them. it was really great and we became even closer friends and she's the only person on campus other than my roommate that im out to that isn't in the LGBT+ club, so it's really nice to have her around.
then today, I came out to my dad over the phone. It started when he came up to me the other day and said that this person in his art class was having his art displayed in a gallery and that it was about being asexual. when he said that I obviously panicked because it was very random and I didnt have the energy to have that conversation with him at the time. so I asked if we could go see the gallery together, we had planned to but today I realised that it wasnt gonna happen but since he had already gone I asked him about his thoughts on the art and stuff. He told me that it made him sad and I asked why, he said that it was because the guy had had so many hard experiences being ace and stuff and he said that it was sad because God made the artist that way, and how he's made other that way and obviously it's a thing because it's mentioned in the Bible and how he doesn't quite understand what a world without attraction would be like or what his marriage to my mom would be like since it's such an important part of his life. So once he had said all of that I was already crying of course, and I told him that what he had said was really encouraging. and he goes why. and I just mumble out through my tears "because im asexual." and it was quiet for a minute and he was like, yeah I could kinda tell, didn't you tell me that before. And I was like no I would remember that conversation and stuff and he said that he was trying to learn about the experiences of people with other life experiences than him and that includes asexuality and he said he's trying to understand it better. He told me that i'm his daughter and that means he loves me, no matter what i do or what i don't do he loves me because i'm his daughter and nothing's gonna change that. and then I cried for twenty minutes and the adrenaline didn't wear of for like an hour and I couldn't stop smiling.
