"I CAN'T ENGLISH!" - Brother after failing to say a single sentence without goofing up for five minutes
our brothers have the same energy
"english isn't my first language" -my brother, who's first language IS english, after he completely messed up an entire sentence
"I CAN'T ENGLISH!" - Brother after failing to say a single sentence without goofing up for five minutes
our brothers have the same energy
"english isn't my first language" -my brother, who's first language IS english, after he completely messed up an entire sentence
(Sadly, I do the same thing-I always mess up my sentences if I don't think about what I want to say.)
"I knew you were white but thought you were washing machine white" - Allen
@Moxie
Classic Allen
"I knew you were white but thought you were washing machine white" - Allen
@MoxieClassic Allen
Yeppers
"I hate white people. For legal reasons, that's a joke."
-My (white) cousin
“I hate downtown. The skyline sucks. My best friend was murdered there. There’s a bit of a traffic problem. It’s annoying.”
"Thoust maiden Alexa, playeth thy tune titled 'Despacito'" -I accidentally included this in an essay that I sent to my teacher
"Thoust maiden Alexa, playeth thy tune titled 'Despacito'" -I accidentally included this in an essay that I sent to my teacher
“Accidentally”
Some of my friends were arguing for fun and one of them started with saying, "You English muffin!" The other one yelled back, "English Muffin WHAT?"
random freshman: * causally chokes self with neck tie *
their friend: stop being kinky and give me your pizza bites
Someone: Why do you make jokes about your mental health??
Me: Laughs then goes quiet It gives me some control over my life and distracts me from the fact that my health is stopping me from being able to do normal things… Anyhow, I like, really wanna die.
presenting a video for end of the year project: "whats up snacks, i bet you missed ya girl airpods"
(i said that)
some group presenting about humans being invasive species: ALL HUMANS ARE FROM AFRICA ORIGINALLY
ms raden, shocked: now, i dont think- thats not true- obviously, im white-
my best friend: Thats right, thats right, lemme get my book of mormon
pulls out her actual book of mormon and gives ms raden a heart attack
random freshman: * causally chokes self with neck tie *
their friend: stop being kinky and give me your pizza bites
(lmao but why did the same thing happen at my school)
WTF im gay and i have standards neither you or your boy toy look good to me ~ me
“I AM SWEDEN!”
"Thoust maiden Alexa, playeth thy tune titled 'Despacito'" -I accidentally included this in an essay that I sent to my teacher
“Accidentally”
Listen it was 4am on a Monday night, I didn't proof read it at all, there was also a sea shanty there
"Thoust maiden Alexa, playeth thy tune titled 'Despacito'" -I accidentally included this in an essay that I sent to my teacher
“Accidentally”
Listen it was 4am on a Monday night, I didn't proof read it at all, there was also a sea shanty there
Mmhmmm
"why am i sexually attracted to rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid?"
"He died from a stab wound and that's how I intend to go out, too."
"If I die it's from drugs."
"Update: He was stabbed and beat to death. Sometime after they figured out he wasn't their god."
Person A: "Sommer Ray is hot!"
Person B: "Your mom is Sommer Ray."
Person A: "I wish my mom was Sommer Ray!"
Person C: "Why? What would you do to your mom?"
Person A: "Whatever I need to!"
Person D: "Sweet Home Alabama intensifies."
the chorus: "kevin is a place on earth"
the chorus teacher: "good energy guys, keep that up, but as much as we love kevin, we need to sing the right words. but i'll put "kevin is a place on earth in the program"
(kevin is our instrumentalist)