forum Quotes from the List of Completely Weird and Random Things We’ve Overheard… (About 15 quotes will be posted daily, and feel completely free to add your own!)
Started by @IamNOTachickenok
tune

people_alt 126 followers

@Elise_Married_Five_Hargreeves

Class: singing some random song
Teacher: stop singing! if you're going to sing at least sing in french
classmate: starts singing in 'french'
other classmate: thats fucking italian u idiot

Deleted user

"oh my f**king god, Taylor" -my bestie in regards to seeing his work schedule

@IcarusFightsTheSun book

(my dm is really into dnd realism, so my kenku character gets a lot of attention since they aren't common in the area. i was trying to smooth over a problem someone had with my party since im pretty charismatic, but mid sentence i realised im still literally just a giant bird, and this has nothing to do with me.)

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "Carnival Pokémon plushie of dubious quality and origin, my favorite."

  • "He's my little asparagus, leave him be."

  • "I'm gonna… do something. And you won't like it."

  • "Any particular reason why you smell like dog food?"

  • "What is this? Why did you draw Big Bird on drugs?"
    "It's a dragon, shut up."

  • "Who even invented wisdom teeth?"

Deleted user

"THERES ORBEEZ IN MY COOCHIEEEeeeeee"

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "Remember yesterday when I filled up my pool with Orbeez? …Well, now I have a pool full of Orbeez."

  • "Hah. The consequences of my own actions are catching up to me at a breakneck pace."

  • "I love stealing from villagers in Minecraft and in real life."

  • "There are TWO characters with the SAME EXACT NAME, AND they're from COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TIME PERIODS."
    "Yikes."
    "AND ONE WAS EVIL!"

  • "Why does every house I build look like a Chili's?"

  • "How am I supposed to punch fish if the river is frozen over?"

@IcarusFightsTheSun book

“Are you having fun dear?” “I’m not allowed on the boat.” “You’re not allowed on the boat?” “I’m the devil.” “Oh.”

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "These plates are so clean you can almost eat off them."

  • "Get that moustache off my moustache!"

  • "These essays are horrible! Looks like my evil scheme to underpay teachers came back to bite me."

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "Spling! Spinkle! Spongebob! Asparagus! Pepsi!"
    "What."
    "I'm trying out different names for the cat. He just looked at me - I think he likes Pepsi."

@CinnamonTheHouseplant

Slams a loaf of bread onto the bed I'm in charge of lunch. You're having mac and cheese and hot dogs. leaves the room, leaving the bread there

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "I'll move this car limb by limb if I have to."

  • "Be careful… there's break-dancing ghosts afoot."

  • "I'm sure you won't mind if I break down the door."

  • "Apparently, her hair was a vital organ."

  • "My teeth are revolting."
    "They aren't that bad."
    "I mean they're HAVING A REVOLUTION."

  • "She called me a b word. She actually said, 'b word.' Rhymes with 'femur.' "
    "Bitch."