"I couldn't afford a fursuit, so I became part cat."
"Ah, parades. The only time of the year when I can legally run into traffic and fight children for candy."
"Burn in hell! You motherfucking unlucky bitch ass weeb cunt shit eating cuck with a dick for a fuckin' antenna! And no friends, you virgin, waifu stalking, smelly motherhumpin', crack sniffin', dog raping, prick sucking, goblin molesting. dwarf twerking, kid voring cuck! I hope you die a fucking virgin! I'm going to circumcise you shitty antenna ha-"
"Your Honor, my client pleads oopsie-daisy"
"I woke up to my natural obligation to leave my offspring."
Just wish for less kids with your Timmy Turner-looking teeth."
“A monkey could do my job. At least HE’D be able to fling poo when he heard a stupid idea.”
“Swans are just female geese though…right?”
"There was a condom outline on the wall!"
"I'm a fish!" "You're a beautiful fish." "I am?"
"Can you adopt me?" "Can I adopt your dog?"
"There are tampons on the ceiling!"
the tampons are still there btw
"Oh poop!" "Oh there's literally poop!"
"I'm going to make an inflatable dart board!"
"I can't go today. I have to take my ex-girlfriend to get her first tatoo."
"I'm an alien-fish-bird-potato!"
"Why does mom wear makeup?" "To look pretty." "But she already looks pretty!" "That's so sweet." "Dad, you should wear makeup."
"I was only trying to kill you! That's all, I swear!"
Well? Aren't you jealous? Aren't adults who actually work for a living, NEETS? We get to go to a hot spring if we randomly feel like it. We won't be back for a few days, so kthnxbye.
"WELL EXCUSE ME, AT LEAST I TAKE SOME TIME TO SANITIZE MY HAIR FOLLICLES"
"I thrive off of hatred, negativity, and chaos. If I see a guy doing well for himself, I gotta let him know that he should probably kill himself."
"Anyone can be a failure, but you have to work real hard to become a complete piece of shit."
Okay, I just leave your sorry ass for dead since it seems awfully gay for you to promise to protect you.
“YOUR MOM IS A HAIRDRYER!!!”
"Isn't that a violin?" Awkward silence "That is the most stupid question I have ever heard you ask."
"Don't come any closer! You'll infect me with your poverty."
"Most likely, she's in hell!"
"that's a lot of minutes for a detention. what did he even do?" "he threw a pencil across the room. and he said the r word." "the r word…???" "yeah, racist."
"If we put our heads together, our minds, and our titties, we can do anything."
“Ooo, the battle for Jace’s soul…” “Jace doesn’t have a soul.”
“What’s a buffalo?” “…You are.”
“I burned my house down for all that insurance money!” “Um…” “hAhAhahahAHAhAhaHAhaHA”
"Do not stick bath products up your butt, do you realize how inconvenient farting bubbles would be?"
"I'm a fish!" "You're a beautiful fish Jason." "I am?"
"Is he actually a god? Seriously, what’s up with his kindness? Actually, just die!"
