forum Lame Jokes

Started March 21, 2018 by @Imperfect_Autumn group

tune

blinks What?

Odysseus pretended his name was Nobody when he went to Polyphemus's (a Cyclops) island

Oh, lol. I'm not very educated on Greek/Roman mythology.

I've got a mythology one!
Why doesn't Oedipus swear?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.

I've seen that one before.

blinks What?

I have two about snakes.

1. Over on the side of a road was a lever. When this lever was flipped, it would set off an explosion, so everyone tried their best to avoid it. In this town, there lived a snake named Nate. One day, he was slowly inching across a road. A driver came by and noticed the snake a little too late. The driver was about to swerve, but then he noticed the lever on the side of the road. He had to quickly decide what to do. Kill poor, innocent Nate, or cause an explosion. The driver ran over the snake. While he was driving away, he thought to himself: Better Nate than lever.

2. A man and his wife were driving up north, when they were suddenly hit with a snowstorm. The man tried to wipe away the snow, but the wipers on the car broke from the cold. The man got out of his car, dug under some rocks, and found two frozen snakes. He placed them on the broken wipers, got back in the car and turned them on. After the snow was cleared, he noticed his wife giving him an odd look. He faced her and said, “Haven’t you ever heard of wind-chilled vipers?”

I think the first guy was dyslexic

GASP
MAYBE HE WAS A DEMIGOD

Why do I always find PJO/HOO stuff?

Or whatever it's called…

Ok, here's another one:

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison.

Here's one I did all the time when I was like 5:
What did the ghost say to the bees?
BOOBIES!

Oh. Yup.

Why do I always find PJO/HOO stuff?

We are an immense family of empty cups

That's a DAM good joke

Oh my goodness…

I understand that reference

I understand that reference

Is that a reference? If so, I understood that reference…

EXACTLY! Thank you!

…
I'm confused

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long?

A python!

Yay! Pi jokes!

Also one time when I was camping with a relative, we were in a tent and someone fell over or something and she was like "Well that was intense!" And then somebody laughed and she added, "Glad you thought it was punny!"

Names for guinea pigs:
Pigfoot
New Guinea