forum In Which I Talk of My Relations with A Mans

Started January 22, 2020 by Deleted user

tune

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Honestly I would love a girl messing with my hair. Like, not even romantically, though that would make it even better.

Or a guy even. Why not?

lmao except it would be romantic and I wouldn’t keep my hands off, and we’d be surrounded by friends

though he doesn’t seem to mind

but we decided that he’s the fuzzy one of this relationship

and honestly that’s ok

being fuzzy requires having a nice scalp, which i do not have

Nate is really grumping it up today, so this conversation happened:

“yeah FOR ME

jeez don’t get your panties into a twist”

“I just got a flash of anger when you said panties for some reason”

“your panties

they need to calm

cus they’re in such a bunch right now“

“Did you not read what I sent”

“Thank you for coming in and making me feel”

He didn’t finish the text

probably unintentionally

it made me laugh waaaay too hard.

We were talking about some dance that’s today that I couldn’t go to bc I didn’t have a dress, so he’s essentially gonna go there with his grumpy and in-pain self and suffer at the very loud party without me. I told him he should definitely send me pictures of his semi-formal self

but like

after he promised that’s all he sent

that’s the context and I’m just gonna ignore him now

bc his grumpiness is overwhelming and I’m feeling very positive today.

He didn’t send me anything or respond to anything I sent after that last night.

I’m gonna instill some self control and let him text me first.

That might take several more hours, but honestly I don’t want to put up with his grumpiness right now.

But today’s Sunday so he’s at church, so I’m banking on the fact that it’ll make him feel a little better. Because that’s what church does, right?

I mean, sometimes. Not always. But normally church does help with whatever a little bit.
Also what are you, religiously?

I’m an atheist. I’m interested in learning about religion, though, but it was a whole big thing between Nate and I when he realized I don’t practice anything.

But you know, I just feel we’re in control of our own fate, and nothing should control that for us.

Well Christianity strongly supports that view. Thus we can damn ourselves and such.
But yeah. That sounds like a huge deal in a relationship. I won't even date someone unless they come from a church that is my own or very similar. But you know that my religious beliefs are very important to me.
Why are you an atheist instead of an agnostic?

Because I simply do not believe there is anything watching us. But the name of atheism is kind of fucked, considering you associate atheists with those screaming middle aged men who think god isn’t real because their life is such shit, you know? I simply just have no belief, and I don’t support a lot of things Christianity (and other religions, but Christianity is the big one) believes in. I feel like I’ve explained myself before this (like, numerous times), but if I were to say I do have religious views, it would be closer to Buddhism. I believe in rebirth and the cycle continuing, but honestly that’s about it.
If I were to eventually go to church with him (as I’ve told him), I’d go, happily, actually, and sit there in the pews and pray, but I’d simply believe it wouldn’t go anywhere. My wishes would still be genuine, just not my idea that, hey, someone’s hearing it.

Nate wasn’t that upset with it, considering we’ve known each other for a few years before we got together, but I still felt the need to explain myself. As I should, of course. He told me in exact words, “It’s not okay with my religious side, but the side that loves you says it’s okay.”

Hmm. Whack.
I don't have any beef with atheists personally (also we should call saying angry gossip "Spilling the beef tea") but I just can't wrap my mind around believing in nothing. It's so mind boggling to me. So I understanding agnostics a lot more because the universe is a sort of great mystery.

I prefer to live out of my own mind rather than something I don’t know is there.

Also people treating my ideas with such disrespect really pisses me off, ngl. You did it correctly; you asked specifically what I am and how I handled it, then gave your opinion.

People who I know irl treat it as if I have this barricade around me. As though I’m refusing to look over it because, oh, you’re atheist so you don’t want to know about other religions. Which is not the case. So whenever people act wildly surprised by me saying that I’d pick up a Bible or a Koran and read it just ends up making me really angry and feel really disrespected.

I'm glad I treated your boundaries properly.
But honestly who wouldn't want to read the Bible? (At least some parts.) That book is hella whack. And pretty cool at times. Really any religion is fascinating. I remember a time my parents weren't home and I accidentally stayed up til one researching Sikhism just because.

Ikr??? My dad told me in the face of no disrespect that I definitely should at least read it. And the Bible and other religious stories are mentioned all the time in literature, so there’s no reason for me not to?

Yeah. It's really educating and helps you understand common references that are spread through all but very modern and very early (and most of non-Western) literature.

Anyway today we were in a teacher’s classroom eating lunch. Nate was sitting on a desk with his legs extended over me to a table (I was sitting to his right on the floor, facing his legs), so randomly, with literally no warning, I stood on my knees and went wham right onto his legs closer to his knees, and sent him cascading.

I might’ve gotten “Geez Emi”s from my friends and a suspicious look from the teacher, but hot damn it was funny as hell

ahhhh I just went over to his house for the first time

His family was as huggable and nice as he was. Got to formally meet his dad and have a conversation with his grandmother, and see bits of pieces of his mother. I also had a cookie and they got me burger king.

But the main attraction??

Spending time upstairs alone with him in his room??

Aahhjkmmskkkkslii i’m a puddle again

he just doesn’t stop making me laugh and smile and i had such a good time

it was exactly what i needed after this rough week and it still feels like a dream, all of the physical contact and how much we laughed and just spent time together juiejejmek

Sweeeet.

Allow me to revive this with something he’s said to me on multiple occasions:

“How is your skin so s of t?”

Most of the time my response is, “Gurl i dunno. I shower and stuff.”

I was thinking about it, now you’re sharing the same thinks as me

i also drew something for him and I feel like I lost a piece of my soul because of it

I asked him what I should draw because I was really quite bored, and the first thing he said was a Chinese dragon. The second was a physical manifestation of depression.

he wasn’t having a great night last night…

So I drew the former.

i sent it to him and he didn’t say anything back so that’s scary

I love that scaly boi!

Nice dragon boi!

This stupid idiot complaining about his middle name

Lardizabal

He made some of our friends say it for the first time.

Take a moment in your head to pronounce that.

If you pronounced it like “Laurizable”, he’d kill you.

It’s pronounced “exactly how it’s spelled” and went on a whole rant about it

I mean I was one of the few where he said it before I had to say it, and I’m obviously educated in the English language, so a year or so ago when I figured his middle name, it’s not a trouble for me now.

Anyway I shut him down by erasing his name off of the board he angrily wrote it on and said, “No one cares, Nate, stop complaining”

and yeah that’s that

oh I’m going over to his house again on Saturday to stargaze and that’s pretty exciting!

Stargazing sounds so wholesome!