forum freshman advice corner(more advice from crocs)

Started July 19, 2020 by @croccin-champagne

tune

Pickles knows what's up.

I had a friend just like that Freshman year, We had been friends sense the 3rd grade.
I did it by slowly distancing myself until finally breaking away all together, but that is a long process and not a fun one for either party involved. Honestly, let her know that what she's doing is bugging you and isn't a good way to be a friend, regardless of what she might say. You don't want to be friends anymore clearly, and if she doesn't know what she is doing wrong she's never going to learn to be a better friend, for your sake and hers just be blunt with her.

Just dump her. You're under no obligation to be her friend if she makes you feel awful. I've known people like that, and it's much better to cut them out.

Ugh, same. I had a friend like that from 5th grade and through all of high school. I just ended up ghosting her when I went to college because my friends were still friends with her and I didn't want to cause drama.

I say ghosted. We actually just kind of stopped talking to each other, period. It's easy when you're leaving high school, but not so simple when you're still going to the same school.

Yeah, I'm hoping that I won't have classes with her this year and we can peacefully drift apart with no hard feelings.

but if you can't just drift apart, hon, you might have to deal with it directly. we're not pushing you, and ultimately, your choice is your own, but it seems like for your own health ending this is the better option

it's even as simple as saying 'i'd like to try being friends again someday, but right now, you're not the same person i was friends with, and the change doesn't seem to be the best for us as friends'

I've mentioned before that she's clingy, and for a while afterwards, she was actually better. I should probably talk to her if she resumes her behavior this year. I just really don't like confrontation

i can't stand it either, it makes me shaky and anxious. sometimes it's necessary though, even if you hate it

that's a good idea, but always keep in mind that the change might only be temporary, sort of a ploy to keep you her friend a bit longer before she falls back into old habits. just remember that you're not obligated to be her friend, okay?

I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I've had so many people who I thought were close friends that left me with no explanation. It lead to me having awful self-esteem and depression, two issues that I still haven't fully recovered from. I don't want anyone to have to go through that, and I would feel awful to be potentially enforcing that onto someone.

but this is different, isn't it? you could offer an explanation, and beyond that, your feelings are important too. your discomfort with her actions and the friendship, your want to interact with others and not be stuck with her as your only friend–which seems like what's happening, whether she's doing it on purpose or not. in a situation like this, your feelings are more important. it seems horrible to say at first, but it's true. and it's an important thing to learn

why should you have to sideline yourself just to protect someone else's feelings?

You and your emotions and feelings come first. You take care of you, and whoever tries to make you put yourself behind them, is no friend. They are just using you as a bridge. You always come first. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I had orientation today. Tbh it was really boring.

Be like that. Remember any of it?

lotta good advice towards the end, mainly geared towards girls but guys can be affected by highschool dating in the ways mentioned, it's just a lot less likely to happen. from what i've seen senior girls tend to stick to senior boys or college guys

anyway, she's also funny

ugh orientations are the worst. i get all nervous and my brain convinces me everyone else there isn't exactly as nervous and unhappy being there lmao

I used to take math classes at the school so I already knew most of the things they told us but there were so many people and barely anyone from my old school is going to the same school as me. Time to be lonely for another year ✌️

To the Freshmen out there.
at some point you will have to fill out one of those "About me" Papers or even just be told to write a few sentences about yourself.
What ever you do DO NOT SPEND THE ENTIRE TIME TALKING ABOUT THE ENTERTAINMENT YOU CONSUME!!, Especially when it comes to Video games and digital entertainment, Books are fine, to a point. The point of these assignments is to tell the teacher and your fellow students about who you are and basically give them an advertisement of yourself. Now let me tell you what an assignment consisting of your favorite video game, TV show, and Movie are going to tell the Teacher and class about you. "This individual knows how to watch something and click buttons." that is the main thing it tells me, if I dive a littler deeper this is what it tells me, "This individual has no sense of self beyond the media they consume." While it's fine, even encouraged to include these things don't make them the main focus of your paper.
Some great things to include would be anything you do that is creative, Writing, Drawing, Music, Programming, These tell me that you are a creative mind who knows how to work with and around problems. Include anything physical that you consider important, Sports, Crocheting, Pets, your Family, Aesthetic. These thing all give me something about who you are.
With online school the inclusion of what Entertainment you enjoy is important to creating connections between you and fellow students, just make sure you let them know other things about you too.

okay so

i have never had someone try to pressure me into taking drugs, drinking alcohol, or any of the Bad Child shit. people will ask if i want to buy, want in, whatever, and when i'm like 'nah im good' they're like 'cool thing bro' and i don't rat them out, because i'm not a snitch

but i have had people pressure me into physical affection and, on one occasion, sex. nobody really likes to talk about that in PSAs, but i'm gonna do it

you are never required to hug your friends, or to be physically affectionate. you don't have any obligation to kiss someone, to have sex with someone, or anything. it is your body. which means you can make the rules on what's okay and what's not

and please, please never be afraid to say no. if your partner is getting pushy, tell them no. if your friends are like 'come on, its just one hug! why are you so weird about it?' tell them no. if they can't get over it and wont leave you alone, ditch them. get away from people who don't respect your comfort and your needs, or you're going to end up perpetually uncomfortable and life is going to suck ass. there are people out there who don't give a shit. find them instead of sticking with people who aren't good for you

Applause

^^^^

also, in other news, eat crunchy foods to increase brain power, gum for focus and memorization, and drink water while going over important things to help you remember it

and go to bed at a good time you dumbasses

On the touchy rules, a good person will be chill and back off for you. A asshole will show colors.

^What Dom says. If they're a good person who really loves you, they won't get angry if you're not ready for sex, or for certain types of sex.

exactly! the people you actually want around don't give a shit that you don't want to be touched, as in, they'll just not touch you

hello hello it's me again, with some sage advice(get it) nearly mid-year

~learn to apologize and learn that apologizing is not admitting defeat. it never was. it's just about admitting that you were wrong about something. you're human.

~once again, don't date. especially boys. boys are icky. unless he gives you his jacket when you're cold and then you may consider it, though i recommend waiting until at least end of year when you're finally in the swing of things

~learn to punch. you might not needed it but if you do it's good to know it. and know that if your school gets you in trouble for self defense, you can take it straight to the internet and news/media outlets. or just threaten to do so. usually that works too.

~drink your water please! and eat a fruit here and there, scurvy isn't sexy anymore

~popcorn is not a meal(take it from me)

~slavery was way worse than they're telling you, don't be brainwashed by the carefully selected information they give you.

~give your friends cool rocks!

~things are gonna suck sometimes but they get better, i swear. and when they do it's like super better.

hfgdfsd "scurvy isn't sexy anymore"

~slavery was way worse than they're telling you, don't be brainwashed by the carefully selected information they give you.

Also, America is not a saint country. If I hear one more person hate on Germany for the holocaust with out knowing that America had their own concentration camps for the Japaneses, I will throw hands.
Germany at least owns up to it, Don't let people sweep it all under the rug.

~slavery was way worse than they're telling you, don't be brainwashed by the carefully selected information they give you.

Also, America is not a saint country. If I hear one more person hate on Germany for the holocaust with out knowing that America had their own concentration camps for the Japaneses, I will throw hands.
Germany at least owns up to it, Don't let people sweep it all under the rug.

Even teachers that do talk about it gloss over it and try to act like it wasn't really that bad

they starved people in internment camps, threw any asian in that they could(racist ass shit), had such horrible hygienic things available that the disease rates were off the charts(i cant remember which was the main found), and so much more even i haven't been able to learn about

~once again, don't date. especially boys. boys are icky. unless he gives you his jacket when you're cold and then you may consider it, though i recommend waiting until at least end of year when you're finally in the swing of things

That older guy who's interested in you? You aren't special or mature, I'm sorry. He likes you because you're easy and no one his own age will date him (gee I wonder why.)
If your friends tell you to stay away from someone, especially friends who have had bad experiences with that person, stay away from them. Your friends and acquaintances aren't trying to keep you from happiness and they're not jealous. There's a reason they don't want you to go out with him. You aren't going to be the one to change him and it's not your job, so don't try.