Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets

Crispin: I don't really understand the term "double edged sword."
Crispin: You get double the sword. That's literally the opposite of a problem??

Jackie: That's a nice shirt.
Holly: Thank you. I asked Brian if I could have it and he said no, so I stole it.

Kit: If you don't want to talk to me, you can just say so.
Matthew: I don't want to talk to you.

Andor: Must be hard not being able to laugh.
Ara I do have a sense of humor, you know.
Andor: I’ve never heard you laugh before.
Ara: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

Farli: We all know you're in love with her.
Taven: I am not in love with Keyla, shut up.
Farli: I never said who.
Taven:
Taven: Fuck, okay, hold on, JUST LISTEN-

Garzlan: Have you ever seen something that changed your life?
Ravina: I saw you.
Garzlan: That's so sweet of you, but now I'm feeling a bit embarrassed cause I was just gonna show you this picture Keyla drew of me with a frog on my head.

Garzlan: If you got arrested, what would be the charges?
Ravina: Disturbing the peace.
Calidor: Aggravated assault.
Farli: Arson.
Keyla: Second-degree murder.
Milo: All of the above, in that order.

Dallas: What does Airbnb mean?
Ara: Oh, well, a b&b is a bed and breakfast–
Andor: Bungeons and Bragons.

Garzlan: Trust fall.
Ravina, from across the room: I'm not gonna catch you.
Garzlan: Trust. Fall.
Ravina: I said no-
Garzlan: I'm falling!!!
Ravina, diving over two beds to catch Garzlan: FOR FUCKS SAKE

Kit: What are you writing?
Crispin: Well, the Patrol wants to know what kind of weapons we use, I'm just letting them know that's private information.
Kit:
Kit: This just says "fuck around and find out."
Crispin: Exactly.

Taven: Hey, Keyla, what's your type?
Keyla: Kind, dark brown hair, tall, dumb, and a good sense of humor.
Taven: Hey that kind of sounds like me.
Keyla: …Did I mention dumb?
Taven: Yeah.
Keyla: Just making sure.

Keyla: So what do you think?
Milo: Sorry I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Ravina.
Keyla:
Keyla: She’s not even here.

Dallas: So what time does the judgment express get here?
Andor: Ara's meeting us at 3.

Crispin: Hey, can I have some money?
Bank Teller: Do you have an account with us?
Crispin:
Crispin, pulling out a knife: Hey, can I have some money?

@HighPockets

Carrie: I don't really understand the term "double edged sword."
Carrie: You get double the sword. That's literally the opposite of a problem?

Nathaniel: That's a nice shirt.
Miette: Thank you. I asked Oscar if I could have it and he said no, so I stole it.

@requiemisback

Habit: [strumming an out-of-tune guitar]
Kit: Do you take requests?
Habit: Yeah, of course!
Kit: Please stop.

Kuro: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
Hinata: Strong.
Shiro: Weak.
Kit: An idiot.

Kit, teaching Vess to drive: Okay, you’re driving and Hinata and Habit walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Vess: Oh, definitely Habit, I could never hurt Hinata.
Kit, massaging her temples: The brakes, Vessica. You hit the brakes.

Kit: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Vess, whispering: Why are there little handprints over the walls?
Makoto, whispering: Because I have little hands.
Vess: Because he has little hands.

Kit: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Shiro: Ms. Kittan, we lost Habit.
Kit:
Kit: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

@SpaceCadet_Bongo

Leo: Aren't you lactose intolerant?
Alex, drinking a glass of milk: This isn't lactose, its milk
Jack: … You're a fucking idiot

Izzy: Andy you gotta stop letting people treat you like a doormat
Andy: Nah, what are you talking about?
Ethan: Wipes shoes on Andy's shirt
Andy: ….. you might have a point

Sam: You better shut up when you talk to me
Brandon: Oh yeah? then you better close your eyes when you look at me bitch
Sam: That didnt even make any sense… You stupid smart ass
Brandon: That was also a contradictory statement… so fuk you

Maia: I'm going to take every last ounce of happiness in your tiny little body and crush it with my bare hands
Jack: woah, at least take me to dinner first you fucking asshole…
Jack: …… I like italian😏

Mr King, reading out a math question: Jimmy has seven toes….. how many toes does he not have?
Andy: oh fuck… um…….. not enough, your supposed to have ten
Mr King, exasperated: not enough, so whats wrong with that?
Andy: I don't know!?! maybe he was born like that!?! you really should criticize-

Ethan: Chucks a grenade at enemy
Ethan: ✨Surprise Shawty✨

Addie: I'm just gonna say it now, I'm Spiderman
Torr: What? So you got bit by a spider…. and turned into Spiderman?
Addie: Yeah thats how it works
Torr: The other day I got bit by a dog…. does that make me a bitch?
Addie: I-……… I don't make the rules homie I-

@IonizationEnergy

Kalif: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
Fantasia: Strong.
AJ: Weak.
Xavier: An idiot.

Xavier: Aren't you lactose intolerant?
Kalif, drinking a glass of milk: This isn't lactose, its milk
Xavier: … You're a fucking idiot

Lyra: That's a nice shirt.
Kalif: Thank you. I asked Nolan if I could have it and he said no, so I stole it.

Bristol: So what do you think?
AJ: Sorry I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Kalif.
Bristol:
Bristol: He’s not even here.

@sock

Aster: If I had a silver for every time I thought about you, I'd only have one silver because you're all I think about.
Mito:
Mito, voice breaking, holding back tears: Have fun being broke, idiot.

Mito, writing: Aster, if you're reading this-
Prince: Can Aster read?
Mito: Heli, if you're reading this to Aster-
Prince: Can Heli read??
Mito:
Mito: Theo,

Pira, holding a camera: Mito, you'll play my father
Mito: I don't want to be your father.
Pira: Perfect, you already know your lines

Aster: [sniffles]
Mito: are you okay?
Aster: [sniffles again]
Mito: [hugs him] Hey, if there's anything upsetting you, you can always come to me, okay?
Aster: I have a cold…
Mito: If you tell anyone about what happened here today I will not be so merciful.

Prince: [looking out a window pensively]
Pira: He's so effortlessly handsome, so sensitive, I wonder what he's thinking,,,
Prince: [internally] Wed-nes-day… whensday? Wendesday??

Heli: Mito? Have you seen my ice cube? I left it on the table like an hour ago but I came back and it's gone.
Mito: Haha, very funny.
Heli:
Mito: Holy shit you're serious.

Willow: When I said “bring me back something from the beach,” I meant a seashell.
Wolf, struggling to hold a seagull: Fucking say that then

Aster: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
Heli: Strong.
Laetus: Weak.
Mito: An idiot.

Mito: Aster hasn’t replied to my confession letter… what if he doesn’t like me?
Heli: give him time
Aster, sobbing in his room with the letter in his hands: Light, I wish I could read

Heli: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, would you still be sober?
Prince: Yes.
Mito: Maybe a bit tipsy.
Pira: Wasted.
Laetus: Dead.

Mito: I can't believe they served that shit at the tavern
Heli: Then why did you drink it?
Mito: I couldn't stop. With each sip, it was 'it can't be that bad, can it?' Before I knew it, I was analyzing the nuances of its flavor, observing its effect on my nausea. I was in a catatonic trance, fueled by the stench of disgusting dwarven ale
Theo: Or you're a drunkard with terrible taste
Mito: There is that

Pira: I have an idea.
Prince: No murder.
Pira: I no longer have an idea.

Pira: What's the Astrumian place we went to?
Theo: Uh.. Astrum?
Pira: That's the one!

Wolf: [wears a slightly lighter shade of black]
Pira: I see you’re getting out the spring colors.

Pira: Just once I’d like a childhood memory I don’t have to repress.

Laetus: Maybe nobody stole it. Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.
Heli: I didn’t eat my quill, Lae.

Laetus: Heli said that I was perfectly fine. Except for three cracked ribs. And a broken toe. Which was right next to two other broken toes.
Mito: Did he clear you or not?
Laetus: He did not. Alright, let's get to work.

Pira: I accidentally ate Heli's snacks. How long do you think I’ll live?
Laetus: Ten.
Pira: Ten what?
Laetus: Nine.

Prince: What's the proper way to deal with a guy annoying you?
Theo: A knife.
Prince: …What?
Laetus: Two knives?
Prince: No!
Heli: You guys are all savages. The proper way is a untraceable poison! :D
Prince: Never mind.

Prince: Did it hurt when you fell?
Pira: From heaven? No, I’m no–
Prince: No, I mean when you fell down the stairs. I watched you fall and just kind of lay there on the floor for about ten minutes.
Pira:
Mito: We both saw that.

Mito: I fucking hate sunflowers. Look at those fucking things. They’re taller than me. This flower is winning and I am losing. That shouldn’t be possible why am I losing to a plant
Theo: what about trees?
Mito: Oh don’t even get me STARTED

Heli: Hey guys- Why are you all standing on chairs? Are you playing a game?
Pira: Yeah, we’re playing “we saw a big-ass spider and don’t know where the heck it went”
Heli: [scrambles onto a chair]

Prince: You all think I enjoy being mother hen to you all?!
Heli: …
Laetus: …
Theo: …
Prince: Alright fine, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane.

Mito: What are you, five?
Theo: [snorts] Yeah, five heads taller than you.
Mito:
Theo:
Theo: I'm sorry please don't kill me

Pira, from the other room: Yeah I ate, stop bugging me!
Theo, at full volume: ASS IS NOT ON THE FOOD PYRAMID!

Mito: [Stiffening] They're here. I can feel it in the air.
Prince: What do you feel?
Mito: Chaos. Terror. Trouble.
Theo: [Panicking] No, no, no. It's not time yet.
Heli: [Wiping the sweat off his face] I can't do it, I can't go through it again. They blew up my apothecary twice!
June: [Gravely] We must remember. Stand your ground. Be brave. We can do it.
Heli: [crying] I can't do it again!
June: We have to! We must!
Pira, Laetus, and Aster busting down the base door: We're back!

Mito: I'm proud to identify as morosexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Aster once asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.
Aster: What kind of animal is the pink panther?
Mito, lighting romantic candles: Light, Aster you're so fucking stupid.

@HighPockets

Fern: If I had a silver for every time I thought about you, I'd only have one silver because you're all I think about.
Huxley:
Huxley, voice breaking, holding back tears: Have fun being broke, your majesty.

Oscar, writing: Douglas, if you're reading this-
Nathaniel: Can Douglas read?
Oscar: Miette, if you're reading this to Douglas-

Ozzie, holding a camera: Freddy, you'll play my father.
Freddy: I don't want to be your father.
Ozzie: Perfect, you know your lines already!

Geneva: I can't believe they served that shit at the bar.
Jackson: Then why did you drink it?
Geneva: I couldn't stop. With each sip, it was 'it can't be that bad, can it?' Before I knew it, I was analyzing the nuances of its flavor, observing its effect on my nausea. I was in a catatonic trance, fueled by the stench of disgusting stale beer.
Jackson: Or you're an alcoholic with terrible taste.
Geneva: There is that.

Therese: I fucking hate sunflowers. Look at those fucking things. They’re taller than me. This flower is winning and I am losing. That shouldn’t be possible, why am I losing to a plant.
Nell: what about trees?
Therese: Don’t even get me started-

@SpookyScarySnoteleks

Nami, watching Luffy, Zoro and Sanji walk towards the kitchen: We need to distract these guys.
Azami: Leave it to me!
Azami, blocking the kitchen door: Centaurs have 6 limbs, and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Zoro: Sounds right to me.
Sanji: What?
Sanji: Both horses and humans are mammals, combining them in one body doesn't change that-
Zoro: But the legs-
Luffy: How were they even born?
Zoro and Sanji, in unison: That doesn't even-
Nami: This… I don't like this.

@threesacult

Dally: If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd only have one dollar because you're all I think about.
Anthony:
Anthony, voice breaking, holding back tears: Have fun being broke, idiot.

Quill: Any kiss could be the kiss of death depending on the severity of your allergies and what your kissing partner has been eating.
Azazel: Or if they have a knife for a tongue!
Quill: Yeah. Or if they have a knife for a tongue.

Perry: Are they called leaves because they leave the tree?
Quill: Do they even want to leave, though? What if the tree makes them leave?
Elias: I am begging you two to talk about literally anything else.

Azazel: Maybe nobody stole it. Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.
Quill: I didn’t eat my book, Azzi.

@HighPockets

andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer): If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd only have one dollar because you're all I think about.
Francesca:
Francesca, voice breaking, holding back tears: Have fun being broke, idiot.

andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer): You know, any kiss could be the kiss of death depending on the severity of your allergies and what your kissing partner has been eating.
Stephen: Or if they have a knife for a tongue!
andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer): Yeah. Or if they have a knife for a tongue.

Talia: Maybe nobody stole it. Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.
Portia: I didn’t eat my book, Talia.

@requiemisback

Kit, talking about Hinata: He’s my best friend, he’s like a brother to me, but he’s a disaster.

Kit: Didn't your daddy give you psychic powers?
Hinata: My dad never gave me squat.

Vess: But, what if Kit sees us out there?
Hinata: She won't!
Vess: This plan is flawless!

Vess: You can trust my opinion because I have a lot to gain by being right and I have severe tunnel vision about achieving my goals.

@HighPockets

Nich, talking about Therese: She’s my best friend, she’s like a sister to me, but she’s a disaster.

Jon: But what if Cole sees us out there?
Oliver: He won't.
Darius: Wow, Ol. This plan is flawless.

Oberon: You can trust my opinion because I have a lot to gain by being right and I have severe tunnel vision about achieving my goals.

@Fairlyodd

Takeo: People have asked me if I'm a glass-half-full or a glass-half-empty person.
Takeo: I have come to a conclusion.
Takeo: [smashes a glass on the floor]

Leaoni: What did you do?
Varian: You can't get mad at me.
Alune: What. Did. You. Do.
Varian: Okay, well first I was minding my own business -
Leaoni and Alune: Bullshit.
Varian: I was!

Frost, Sana and Takeo: [staring out the window with popcorn]
Kallai: What are you doing?
Frost: The tv broke so we’re watching a couple break up across the street.

Frost: This is Alune, he's very sarcastic.
Alune: Suuuure, I'm reeeeeally sarcastic. [rolls eyes]
Frost: This is Leaoni, be careful around her, she easily loses her temper.
Leaoni: [literally bursting in to flames] WHAT?
Frost: Here's Varian, the dramatic one.
Varian: I am not! Where have you heard such accusations??
Frost: And I'm Frost, the responsible adult of the group :)
Alune, Leaoni and Varian:…

Frost, barging into the bathroom: What's taking you so long? You've been in here forever-
Takeo, halfway through shaving with a sword:
Frost:
Takeo: Good morning! [continues]
Frost: What the fuck.

Aris, talking about Varian: He’s my best friend, he’s like a brother to me, but he’s a disaster.

Leaoni: But, what if Kallai sees us out there?
Varian: He won't!
Alune: Flawless plan everybody.

Ren: You can trust my opinion because I have a lot to gain by being right and I have severe tunnel vision about achieving my goals.

Aris: [looking out a window pensively]
Ren: He's so effortlessly handsome, so sensitive, I wonder what he's thinking,,,
Aris: [internally] Wed-nes-day… whensday? Wendesday??

Varian: Maybe nobody stole it. Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.
Alune: I didn’t eat my book, Varian.

@HighPockets

Kels: People have asked me if I am a glass-half-full or a glass-half-empty person.
Kels: I have come to a conclusion.
Kels: Smashes a glass on the floor

Geneva: Staring out the window with popcorn
Jackson: What are you doing?
Geneva: The TV broke so I'm watching a couple break up across the street.

Lucas, barging into the bathroom: What's taking you so long? You've been in here forever-
Cedar, halfway through shaving with a sword:
Lucas:
Cedar, continuing: Good morning!
Lucas: What the fuck.

@threesacult

Drinn: People have asked me if I am a glass-half-full or a glass-half-empty person.
Drinn: I have come to a conclusion.
Drinn: Smashes a glass on the floor

Perry: Staring out the window with popcorn
Elias: What are you doing?
Perry: The TV broke, so I'm watching a couple break up across the street.

Zephyr, barging into the bathroom: What's taking you so long? You've been in here forever-
Drinn, halfway through shaving with a sword:
Zephyr:
Drinn, continuing: Good morning!
Zephyr: What the fuck.

Anthony, talking about Cyrus: She's my best friend, she's like a sister to me, but she's a disaster.

Ellis: [Looking out a window pensively]
Poli: He's so effortlessly handsome, so cool… I wonder what he's thinking.
Ellis, internally: Wed-nes-day… whensday? Wendesday??

@Starfast

Andor: I just want to ask one question.
Ara: No.
Andor: Ok.

Matthew: I have to say, I'm very disappointed in you.
Kit: Well you didn't have to say it. You could have just thought it.

Jackie: Staring out the window with popcorn
Holly: What are you doing?
Jackie: The TV broke, so I'm watching a couple break up across the street.

Keyla: But, what if Valder sees us out there?
Milo: He won't!
Ravina: Flawless plan everybody.

Frank: You all think I enjoy being mother hen to you all?!
Gerard: …
Caleb: …
Crispin: …
Eva:
Prince: Alright fine, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane.

Holly: [wears a slightly lighter shade of black]
Brian: I see you’re getting out the spring colors.

Gerard: Just once I’d like a childhood memory I don’t have to repress.

@HighPockets

Jackson: I just want to ask one question.
Geneva: No.
Jackson: Ok.

@requiemisback