@ElderGod-Carrots
“Probably a good idea, but you sure you don’t want to rest for a little longer?” Maddie asked, still slightly concerned for the other girl.
“Probably a good idea, but you sure you don’t want to rest for a little longer?” Maddie asked, still slightly concerned for the other girl.
"I'll be fine. This place always gives me energy." Esme opened another portal, this one leading to a much sunnier place, and nodded for them to go out ahead of her. "Watch your step."
Maddie hesitated a moment before hopping through the portal first. She tried to land as best she could, stumbling a little but better then the last drop.
Nathan slipped through the portal, just managing to land on his feet. He got out of the way for Luke and Esme, and took a look at their surroundings.
(hey guys so I've gone over the story I sent before? And was just wondering if you'd go over it again, see if I should revert back to the original in some places and whatnot?)
They were in what looked like a very old, abandoned mining village, on the rocky slopes of an unfamiliar mountain. Wooden shacks in various stages of collapse lined an ancient train track with a faint dirt road beside it. There were no trees, birds, or insects, only a few patches of scraggly grass growing around the buildings. Although it was cold and windy here, the sun beat down with enough strength to protect them from the chill air.
Luke jumped down next to Maddie and surveyed the view. "Well, this is…atmospheric."
(Sure, by the way, I'd be glad to help ^^)
(Sure, of course :)
"That's one word for it." Maddie muttered with a sigh, kicking at a loose rock in the pathway.
She gripped the polished wood, tight jaw lodged firmly in the chin rest, playing her violin. Her heart soared as the pure sound escaped her grip and swirled around the room, consuming all other senses in one perfect moment in time, simply her and the music.
She swept her hair back, forgetting the coffee cup in her hand; the scalding liquid poured all over her blouse. She squealed and stopped dead.
“I’m home!” she cried happily, swinging her bag down onto the couch and pirouetting to the kitchen. Her mother’s dark head popped around the door frame, grinning.
“Happy birthday to you,” the latter sang in her charming soprano voice. The girl bounded into the pale green kitchen to the fresh smell of chocolate cinnamon cookies.
“You truly are the amazingest person,” she lauded her mother and kissed her on the cheek.
She absently registered the zebra crossing her beneath her feet as she dabbed at her shirt. A loud yell sounded over top the city soundtrack, and she looked up to see a car racing towards her.
She looked over and noticed her mother had tears in her eyes. The almost-grown woman’s shoulders shook with silent laughter and she grabbed her Mom’s hand. She then had let go and look up as her name was called. She tightened her billowing robe and ignored her heeled steps echoing through the hall. She stepped up onto the stage.
“Congratulations,” the headmaster beamed, and handed her the golden diploma. Three one-armed hugs and a medal later, she was officially an adult. Thunderous applause burst from the audience.
Her eyes widened. Her feet were rooted to the spot. Was the car speeding? It looked like it was speeding.
Phillip got down on one knee. She stared. He gave her a crooked smile and took out a small blue velvet box. This instant, as so many others, wove itself into the fabric of this minute of the beginning of their lives.
“Oh my god,” she whispered.
He opened it to a simple silver ring crested with a small diamond. “Will you marry me?”
“Phillip, I… oh my god, yes. Yes!”
“Teresa!” Phillip screamed from the sidewalk. “Teresa!” He started running towards her, desperately pushing through the crowd, and the people were driven to look around and realize what was going on. Everything blurred around her, and Teresa finally realized what was happening. She had just enough time to scream.
She choked on her breath, staring at the plastic test in her hand: plus. Plus. It was a plus. She cleaned up and went to the living room.
“Phillip.” He looked up from his book.
“Tess.” She lifted her gaze to look at his impossibly blue eyes. “Plus. I got a plus.”
He narrowed his eyes in cluelessness as his gaze went to her hand. He mouthed the word, and slowly stood up as the realization hit him.
“Plus.”
The driver was texting. Tess’s hand fluttered to her swollen stomach just as the driver looked up. He attempted to stop, but the car just skid forward faster than before. The sky was such a clear blue that day.
She finished the piece. She carefully lifted her bow from the strings and stood up to accept the raucous applause that now filled the room, filling her to the brim of her years with pride and making her feel alive. She set her violin onto her stool and went center stage to take her bows. Her mind filled with the audience’s appreciation, and a sweet smile split across her round face.
It was the side of the car that hit her the worst.
(ahhhhggg it's even better now T.T Excellent work. I think the only suggestions I could offer at this point would drift into the realm of nitpicking, so I'll let it rest. Plus, the little details ind of show your personal style, and that's cool. It's even more impactful now, with the the italics and everything. Thanks for sharing it! XD)
NO PROBLEM OK IM HAPPY NOW
(YAY XDD)
(…. when you sitting in class tyrin’ to not cry Wow, das soooooooo good!)
(hai frenz)
(hey ^^)
(I just saw a musical about Einstein and my singing teacher wrote it so I didn't know what to expect… but WOAH)
(nice XDD what was the best part?)
(the raw emotions in it. so many different characters with so many different stories that somehow balanced each other out.)
(cool ^^ I should try to see more plays/musicals, they sound really fun)
(my god are they good. if youre in the us go see waitress. GO SEE WAITRESS)
(holy crumbs the intensity of emotion! I wish I could sing like that T.T I'll definitely have to look that one up!)
(Jessie Mueller is the best actress I have come across in a long long time. You should also look into the backstory of this song, it is so unbelievably sad and when she's in costume with her baby bump and everything it hurts even more. Numbers like this coupled with performers like simply make the world a better place. They make everything brighter and just bring so much wonder and talent an emotion, and you just find yoursel crying along with her without realizing it. Jems like this are surprisingl hard to find, I only have a few videos that make me as emotionally invested as this one.
OK I'm done now.)
(Sup, this class is boring)
i am really going to enjoy breaking you guys with these songs
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