forum I'll critique your stuff!!
Started by @TryToDoItWrite
tune

people_alt 61 followers

Deleted user

Lol sorry didn't mean to make him attractive… I am male irl making me blind to the reality of hot guys most of the time

Deleted user

shrug I'm not into guys, so I don't know. I'm just judging by @grammarqueen4's comment.

Deleted user

The trust issues thing is also sort of cliché. There are lots of dark, mysterious characters who are guarded and have trust issues because of something in their past.

Deleted user

Autism affects your ability to communicate or understand so he chooses to be quiet so people don't make fun of him… There's a backstory and I can't change that without changing the fact that he's autistic.

Deleted user

My little brother has autism and James' personality was based off of him.

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Autism affects your ability to communicate or understand so he chooses to be quiet so people don't make fun of him… There's a backstory and I can't change that without changing the fact that he's autistic.

I do know what autism is. My cousin is very autistic. I don't think you should change that he's autistic, or that's he's quiet so people don't make fun of him. I like both of those things about his character. There's a difference between being quiet so people don't make fun of you and having trust issues, though.

Deleted user

He doesn't trust people because he's afraid of getting hurt… I probably also should mention that he was abused.

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Just out of curiosity—who abused him and why?

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Why is that not in the main description?!?

Haha yeah, I was wondering that.

Deleted user

I apologize for the confusing half done description my humans… He was abused by his father.

Deleted user

Hmm. I see. Was this due to his autism? (Also please don't say his father was alcoholic).

Deleted user

Unrelated question: What sparked his want to be a doctor or FBI agent?

Deleted user

Hmm. I see. What this due to his autism? (Also please don't say his father was alcoholic).

No, no alcoholic fathers.

Deleted user

OKAY… No his father is not an alcoholic, that's too cliche. It was because of his autism. His father wanted a son and he was angry about getting an imperfect one……………………..He had an older sister but she got hurt by their father and died. James wanted to help people that were like that so he wanted to be a doctor so help injured/sick people or an FBI agent to serve justice to people like his dad.

Deleted user

OKAY… No his father is not an alcoholic, that's too cliche. It was because of his autism. His father wanted a son and he was angry about getting an imperfect one……………………..He had an older sister but she got hurt by their father and died. James wanted to help people that were like that so he wanted to be a doctor so help injured/sick people or an FBI agent to serve justice to people like his dad.

Nice motivation for wanting to be an FBI agent/doctor. I like it. Did his father hurt his sister because she wasn't the son he wanted?

Deleted user

His sister was protecting him from the dad so he got mad