forum Character Critques~ ((Closed))
Started by @Rainy_is_back
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@Rainy_is_back

(I am almost done with school for the day! So I’m about an hour I’ll get to work because I have to get ready for stuff tonight I won’t be home for. I promise to get it done!)

@Rainy_is_back

Cortz: (Courts)
Cortz is an anatolian shepherd/german shepherd/st. bernard/about everything else mix that lives is Moscow. The end of the world has come, and the city has form a distinct method of survival. Cortz is one of thousands of wild dogs who have been roaming the streets for generations. The dogs have become so feral, they've begun to evolve back into wolves.
The city uses the dogs as protection, and in turn, let the wild dogs seek shelter in their homes.
Cortz is a middle-ranking pack member in a large pack of about 40-50 dogs. He's callous and uncaring, searching only for survival. He's fairly well-liked in his pack, but not the most popular. He's one of the bigger dogs in the pack, and is tan, black, and has splotchy wolfish markings. He has a longer nose that is more jowly, like a st. bernard, and has the long bushy tail of a german shepherd. His ears are half-perked, and he had almond shaped, bronze eyes. Cortz was born into the pack, and as one of the strongest dogs, helps defend their territory from other packs and humans who aren't native to the city.

Well, @KHS-SunGod, I seem to be unable to find anything. The only thing, is maybe be just the smallest bit more descriptive on his looks. Maybe give him a weight, so we can get an idea about how big he is! Really that's about it from what I can tell!

@Rainy_is_back

AHHHHHHHH @Ash-is-okay-at-manga, OK, I gotchu now!

  • Hair: Two tiny insignificant little details, Hair color, when you say silver strands, do you mean like natural? From the roots or like dyed ends? If you could elaborate on that, that'd be great! And really random, but does she have bangs of any kind? I feel like it could fit wit her sloppy hair cut, but just asking.

  • Body Type: Heh, I've mentioned this to a lot of people Like every person I critiqued but I'd give the character a shape! What specific body type is she? I'll list my most used cites for eg. : https://www.123rf.com/photo_70484414_stock-vector-vector-illustration-of-different-body-shape-types-.html, and https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/different-body-shapes-of-women/

  • Mannerisms: They're good, but you can always add more! I'd suggest having more than one, (For eg. If you did give her bangs, she could always blow them out of her face, but again, that's up to you!) cracking her knuckles, biting on her lip, picking at her skin. Any of that works! Knee bouncing, nail biting, squirming/tapping her foot or finger on a table, any little either nervous or just regular ticks work!

  • Flaws: I'd for sure give her more. Does she mistrust people? Is she mistrusted by people? Does she have no sense of time, causing her to be late me? Is she selfish? She really needs some more, mostly because people have more than one flaw. Look at friends and family maybe, and pick out some you like. This goes for mannerisms too!

  • Nature section: Because I don't want to make a ton of different topics on it anymore, I think just adding more detail in would be great. Having more than one hobby and/or talent. And I don't think that's what alignment is for, I believe you wanted sexuality for that just an fyi ;)

  • Social section: I don't get to know much about her, so I'd for sure add in her favorite things at least! And if you do, I'd give reasons why, you can give her little quirks and things because of it!

  • History: It seems a little lack luster, though you've got a good start! I'd keep working on it, and building it up.

  • Detail: OK, so, I'm really now wondering how many sections I've added to my own characters… did I really add that many? I'd suggest (and if you need help filling out some of the strange ones, come ask!) filling out other field if there are any! But really, that's up to you.

I feel like that was a lot… and I'm sorry, I just found one thing and wanted to make myself clear! I hope I helped you out, happy developing!

@Rainy_is_back

Thanks!
Take your time! School is always a priority!

Forrest:

Fern

Ahh shoot, looks like I don't have permission to view your character @Celestial-Burst! I'm sorry I couldn't have told you earlier

@Celestial-Burst

Thanks!
Take your time! School is always a priority!

Forrest:

Fern

Ahh shoot, looks like I don't have permission to view your character @Celestial-Burst! I'm sorry I couldn't have told you earlier

Oh wow, thats totally my bad! I thought I had them on public haha.
I think they're fixed now!

@Rainy_is_back

Oh wow, that's totally my bad! I thought I had them on public haha.
I think they're fixed now!

It sure is! Sorry it may take awhile to get something up though, again, school

@Rainy_is_back

@Celestial-Burst, I think I can get one done for right now, So I'll do the first on the list; Forest!

  • Height/Weight: 5'5"5? Do you mean like… five foot, five inches, five centimeters? Or was that a typo? Also, I'm assuming you meant 130 pounds, but you didn't specify, so I'd make sure you double checked that.

  • Flaws: Sounds like he has Anxiety a bit. I'd say what that is in the Flaws.

  • Personality: Reading it, I'm not quite sure how he expresses emotions. It doesn't seem entirely clear (to me that is), and you never specifically say he hides it, so I'd mention something about it at least ;)

  • Conditions: I kind of, uh, have experience with the part about everything being perfect, and that seems rather accurate to me. Though I'd mention, that for his personality if you do mention his emotions, he bottles them up and hides them from people. Telling them he's perfectly fine, and when he's alone, that's when he lets it all out. Totally not from personal experience. But each person is different, so that's up to you. I'd just like to mention they expect for themselves to be perfectly fine, and everyone else's life is perfect except for their own. So they hide it behind closed doors. Overall, great job!

  • Religion: So he believes there is something out there, but doesn't know what, so he doesn't commit himself? I like that, that's good!

I think he's really good otherwise! I have an additional notes rq. I see you used some of the tips from the last critique I gave you! Lol that's it! I love him, and again the character art! I hope I helped you out, and wish you happy developing!

@Rainy_is_back

No problem! And they’re honestly just suggestions. I do still have your other character to do though! So I’ll get to that in a minute here!

@Rainy_is_back

Alright, time for Fern @Celestial-Burst!

  • Personality: I hate to keep saying this, but I still don't know how she displays emotions exactly. I can picture some, a little better than before, but it's still a little hazy.

  • Prejudices: Maybe she could be against the negative, rude people. She tries to like them, and be sweet, but they just irk her to no end.

  • Conditions: Yes. You basically described me, maybe I'm Fern? But yeah, sounds really good! Just something I'm gonna mention, even when doing something she enjoys, does she get distracted? Can anything help her focus? Will she loose her sense of time, going off to do something when she doesn't have the time for it?

  • Occupation: Yeah, that for sure counts. That can be a lot of work!

  • Family: Two itsy bitsy things. Does she name any of the birds or have favorites? And, I see you're working still on her parents, but you mentioned her siblings a few times, is there anywhere you could put their names or anything down?

I think that's all! You're doing awesome with your characters! I love them a lot! I hope I helped you out, and wish you happy developing!

@Rainy_is_back

@salami011 let's take a look shall we?

  • General Note: Lol, I love how his role is Edgelord. But what is his place in the story? Is he your MC, or protagonist? Or is he something else?

  • Eyes: Trying to decide what color grey, do you mean like a light grey, or a darker grey? Just a suggestion, but maybe put a more specific grey in there.

  • Body Type: Well, thin isn't much of a body type persay. I'd give a little more description, just so you have a better idea. Is he lanky? Again, being descriptive would be great!

  • Nature Section: You seem to have a dead link? Or maybe it's just locked, idk. Mannerisms, does he do anything like knee bouncing or nail biting? What you have is great, but you can always add more! Same goes for flaws, you can always add more!

  • Favorites: I tell this to people on the daily, why are his favorites his favorites? Give him a reason to like the color purple, or why he likes kinves so much.

  • Background: He doesn't have one, which I understand if you're working on it, but I'd for sure get something up at some point!

I believe that's all! Happy developing!

@Celestial-Burst

Alright, time for Fern @Celestial-Burst!

  • Personality: I hate to keep saying this, but I still don't know how she displays emotions exactly. I can picture some, a little better than before, but it's still a little hazy.

  • Prejudices: Maybe she could be against the negative, rude people. She tries to like them, and be sweet, but they just irk her to no end.

  • Conditions: Yes. You basically described me, maybe I'm Fern? But yeah, sounds really good! Just something I'm gonna mention, even when doing something she enjoys, does she get distracted? Can anything help her focus? Will she loose her sense of time, going off to do something when she doesn't have the time for it?

  • Occupation: Yeah, that for sure counts. That can be a lot of work!

  • Family: Two itsy bitsy things. Does she name any of the birds or have favorites? And, I see you're working still on her parents, but you mentioned her siblings a few times, is there anywhere you could put their names or anything down?

I think that's all! You're doing awesome with your characters! I love them a lot! I hope I helped you out, and wish you happy developing!

Thank you so much! You always give lovely tips and critiques! They definitely help!

@Rainy_is_back

Thank you so much! You always give lovely tips and critiques! They definitely help!

Glad to hear that! Thank you! I'm glad to get to help you out.