I'm up for a few, not many though, I'll close it when I hit five, and open it again once I'm finished. A max of three characters per comment, you can come multiple times, but don't post multiple comments with three characters in it in a row. So drop them down if you want some!
Hello! Could you take a gander at Hinata for me?
I can sure as heck try!
Race: So for myself, personally, I like to put whether they're human or not, and if so (For you, she is) I go ahead and put what human race they are. I think it's just a nice thing to have, so you can try and figure out there characters heritage/lineage later on.
Body Type: Alright, so, the thing I've told other people is decide on the body shape, I have a few cites that I use to pick what shape I'd want my character to be, I'll list them: 1, 2
Nature: Can't find anything! Looks good!
Religion: That's pretty cool, I like the developed story for why! I honestly need to work on that field for some of my characters- heh
Job/Occupation: Since you have the same thing for both, you could always just have the occupation part filled out, since it's got the most information.
Favorites: OK, for everything except her favorite possession (which I love, it's so sad, but I mean- AHG) I'd give a reason why they're her favorites! Did she use to go and get burgers with her lover? Or she saw a fox when she was young, and it brought good luck the next day? Little things like that :)
Education: Where was she educated at? Just curious, and not really necessary!
I believe that's it! She looks really good besides those couple things. I hope that helped, and I wish you happy developing!
Thank you! I might drop her off again later
Sure thing!
Hello! Would you be able to take a peek at my girl Artimae?
Can I get some thoughts on these darlings? ^^
Scott:
Ram:
Hi! Do you think you can maybe do these two if you’re still open? They're both fairly new so I don’t have them super fleshed out yet lol. Thanks!
Ivy
Kai
Of course to all of you! Sorry, I was at a play heh- but I'll get to them! First up @vidari-is-tired-in-advance!
@vidari-is-tired-in-advance, man thin was difficult to find things
Body Type: OK, so just a personal question, you say she's pear shaped and stocky? Well, what do you mean? Like she has minimal curve? Just a little unclear how to dictate this information, maybe it's just me, but I'd like to see a little more detail! (I personally still have to work this out for my characters, lol)
Flaws: Nice job! You gave good reasons there!
Motivations: Just one thing, don't you think wanting to gain friends would be a good add on? Just a question to think about, if that's really part of her character that is!
Prejudices: Ooooh, wow that's really a good one. Honestly, you have great reasons why, not only for this, for other things too! Good job!
Personality: I have one little thing, why doesn't she like it when things are kept from her? What's the real reason? Is it just because she's curious? I feel like there should be a little bit of a better reason than that, but it's your character and her history!
Favorites: Why? Why are her favorite things her favorite? You've answered that question for some of them! I just would like to see why she likes green, and etc.
Occupation: Student isn't really a job, so I wouldn't personally put that there, but you could say she's on her way to becoming a botanist!
Education: Boy is that right. You don't tend to have social skills (or know how to order food without getting nervous) for sure when you're a homeschooler! XD
Gallery: Nice pic! Super cute!
That's all I have for you! She's great otherwise! I really do like her! Happy developing!
@KHS-SunGod, here we go!
Scott~
Clothing: I like this! It describes her personality well!
Looks: Alright, couple things, but not anything to worry about! Height, you say she's tall, but how tall specifically? Like 5'9'' tall or 6'7'' kinda tall? I would specify! Weight, that all depends on how tall she is, but it shouldn't be hard to decide, I'd love to see this put in just so you can get an overall idea. Body type, what shape is she? It'd be a good idea to pick one! Otherwise, great description! (I'm listing a few cites that I personally use to decide! This, and this.
Conditions: I understand that, can't wait to see what they are!
Personality: I like the detail you put in it, I just had one, itsy, bitsy question. How does she display her emotions? Are they held behind a cold stare and snarky remarks? Just thought I'd mention it!
Prejudices: I laugh at this, because I can see her panicking, and it's hilarious. Makes me think of Maleficent in a way.
Motivations: I like how you have multiple different ones. I should jot that down somewhere- lol
Favorites: I was given this advice, and I've passed it along before, why? Why are her favorite things her favorite? Like why does she like cats so much? Give it a little history!
She looks good, with the exception of a few details! Great work!
Ram~
Weight: Well, suggestion for this is probably around 190 pounds, to go with his height and muscle, maybe even more. I'd make sure to give him one, just so you have an idea about how big he actually is.
Conditions: But why? I'd give a reason, mostly so you know what it's about. Then it would be in the back of your brain, so you can just have it there for safe keeping.
Talents: Hmmm… Loyal and Caring? It doesn't seem like those are Talents per-say, great personality qualities though! Along with "would die for his friends", seems like it belongs somewhere else, not in the Talents. There's a few things I'd suggest reading over in the talents, and maybe rethink where they should go, some just don't seem to fit.
Flaws: Well, I have some contradictory thoughts here… I read from his personality he is determined to stay alive? But then he goes and ignores the rules, put there to keep him alive? Seems a little backwards, unless I misread something. I'd take a look if I were you ;)
I believe that's it! I hope I helped you out some, Happy developing!
Thank you so much! I definitely see some things that I want to elaborate on now, and I really appreciate your advice ;)
Of course! Happy to help any time!
@Celestial-Burst, Let's go!
Ivy~
Name: I love that name so much! So pretty! Though does she have a last name? Just curious! (After finishing up, I realized she wouldn't know it, though I bet she did have one, and if she did, what was it?)
Looks: Alright, putting these things down under one little bullet point lol. Hair, has it always been that color? Like is that natural? Race, since she's human, what human race is she? American, Canadian, German? It can be anything (as long as it makes sense with the way she looks of course lol). Body type, what shape is she? Athletic is a bare minimum a feel. I know very different types, I know a lady who does extreme work outs, and another who does running, and one more who does dance and gymnastics. They all look really different, so what shape is Ivy? I'll list my cites: This one and this one I find useful!
Prejudices: That last little note, that's not really necessary. It's explained enough in her motivations she doesn't like them. (Though I don't know what they've done, maybe you could add that to motivations.)
Conditions: Not sure what you mean by that? If you could elaborate that'd be great!
Personality: So, you don't really explain how she displays her emotions, it's be good if you did! Like how she acts when she's stressed, or upset, or excited! I'd love to see the diversity, but make sure it copes well if you decide to do it.
Religion: Do you just not know, or does she not have one? If so, that's Atheism.
Favorites: I keep saying this, over and over, but why are her favorites her favorites? It deepens the characters history, and gives them fond memories. :)
Ivy looks good with those few tweaks! Love her gallery art btw!
Kai~
Name: Same with Ivy, but now I realize why Ivy doesn't have one, does he have a last name?
Race: What is his core human race? Is he French, Italian, or Swedish? It can be about anything, as long as it makes sense to his looks! It can matter, for accent purposes. If he's American, you could put what region of America he is from. That can change the way you talk big time.
Conditions: Alright, I just have some notes because I recently watched a documentary about Anxiety. Perfect timing right? So, I bet he has panic attacks. But what do those look like for him? Spinning head, throwing up, crying, headaches, sweating, freezing, hard to breath? I'd pick things that build up to the really bad part, for sure. Next thing, what calms him down? Walks, alone time, reading, listening to music, writing, drawing, paper folding, humming? What calms him? That is a big part to help you out, so I'd pick something that helps him calm down too!
General Note: So I know from experience, that when your forced to grow up that the little mistakes you make (because you're still young) get corrected a lot more. So his parents, I'm assuming, are pretty strict. Or at least one of them. Just thought I'd put it out there!
Religion: Like for Ivy, if you haven't decided or don't know, that's different. But if they don't have one, it's Atheism.
Favorites: Same thing I mentioned for Ivy, let us know why! Why does he like his room so much? Is it because it was the only comforting thing growing up? It'd be great to know the reasoning!
Education: I'd suggest maybe having him remember some things, things he found interesting. Like in a History or Science class, does he think anything is cool that he wants to store in his brain? Maybe he thought of a joke to go with the topic. That's how I tend to remember things, because I really don't have the best memory if I'm being honest.
Personality: Jumping back here for a sec, when he does feel emotions and he opens up to someone because they care for him, what's it like when he does express those emotions? Is he actually sensitive deep down? Trying to maybe hide it with his jokes or mature attitude? It can always be a weakness if anything. Just a thought!
Pets: I think, think, you might have a typo there. I'd take a look ;)
All looks good besides my little notes! I love the art for both, and I wish you Happy developing!
Awesome! Thanks so much! I'll definitely go fix some of those things you mentioned!
Also, i'm glad you like their art haha
Happy to help anytime! And I really do- hehe
Thanks so much!!! These are amazing, I'll definitely be back for more <3
You're totally right about Ram's talents xDD I spent about thirty minutes revising him today, and totally missed those. Thanks so much for pointing them out!!
Of course! I don't mind helping people out at all! Seriously just ask.
You're the best! <3
:D I'm really not, but OK <3
I beg to differ, I think you're awesome! ^^ I honestly can't wait to bring in another character for you to look at, and trust me, I'm picky with who I listen to on critiques xDD
:3 Well, I’ll have to trust you. Can’t wait to see you again!
Yo, do you think you can look at my confident idiot Shea? Invalid Character
You need to set it to public @Hungry_And_Tired
I will, once I get home and you make it public!