Jude shook his head, glancing at Nyx with an smile that was almost sad. He was right. Everything and everyone he cared about was here in the city, and to run away would wound him– though he'd realized from the start that there was nothing he could do. "You're right," He said with a faint shrug, "I— I don't want to leave. But I know that leaving might be our only option, if things went south."
(hey, just wanted to say that schools starting pretty soon for me, :( so im sorry in advance if i'm not very active)
He bit his lip faintly. "I'm sorry for making this all so hard…" he said uietly, closing his eyes and sighing softly.
(it's fine! Good luck!)
"No," Jude said in a softened tone, shaking his head as he turned to face him, "No, Nyx, you know this isn't your fault. How could it be?" Going through with all of this was still very much a riskful thing, but nothing they did was truly wrong and there was only so much they could do to keep themselves from getting caught. "Don't think like that. It's not our fault."
"But I…if I wasn't…what I am…we wouldn't have to be…so worried." He said slowly. "It…it is my fault. Just for existing."
"No, come on," Jude said, shaking his head as he shifted the two of them to the side, casting a cautious look over his shoulder, "Don't say that, it's not true. They— They're the ones responsible. They started this; the whole project, remember? You had nothing to do with it."
"But…" he looked up at Jude. "But I'm the one that's…that's put you in danger, if I wasn't…like this…then…" he bit his lip faintly.
"—If they hadn't done this to you," Jude corrected, wearing a gentle frown as he reached out to gently grip Nyx's shoulders, "If they hadn't done all those things to you, we wouldn't be in danger." He shook his head, looking into Nyx's blue gaze as he remembered what he had told him of his time inside, "You did nothing wrong. Haven't we talked about this? You did nothing to put me in danger."
Nyx looked up at him anxiously. "But…" he trailed off a little bit, studying Jude's face carefully. "I-I just…I…" he shook his head a little bit.
Jude bit his lip, letting out a quiet sigh as he reched to hold Nyx's face in his hand. He couldn't stand to hear him talk about how much he blamed himself for their situation, and after all they'd spoken about RTI and all that worried them, Jude still didn't know how he could convince him. "Why don't you believe me?" Jude softly asked, "Why do you blame yourself?"
"Because…I…" He bit his lip. 'when you first opened the pod, I chose…I asked you not to just close it up again and…and I should have. I…" He shook his head a little bit.
"You shouldn't be sorry about wanting to be free," Jude said, looking down at Nyx with a pensive gaze, almost forgetting that they were in a museum, "—About wanting to live." He could feel the anger towards his father and the company rising as he spoke. "They never should've done what they did to you, and you know that."
His eyes flickered faintly. "But…I just…" he bit his lip a little bit. "I…" he shook his head slightly, unsure what to say. What there was to say.
"You're wrong," Jude softly told him, almost frowning as he gazed at him. There was so much wrong that Nyx hadn't deserved, and to hear him blame himself on top of all that was painful, "You deserve to be safe and happy; and because of them we're risking all this."
Nyx looked up at him uncertainly. "But…" he trailed off, shaking his head again. "It's just…if I wasn't like this…"
"–if they hadn't done this to you," Jude said, letting out a slow sigh as he ran a hand through his hair, "If they hadn't done this to you, no one would've gotten hurt and we wouldn't be in danger."
He shrugged faintly. "Yeah, but if they hadn't…if they hadn't, we might never have met." he pointed out, looking at Jude.
Jude nodded, considering that fact as he chewed on his bottom lip. "That's true," He agreed, glancing around the room as he tried to think of something to counter that argument. "But what about all the time before we met?" He prompted, lowering his voice when a group of people walked by, "Eighteen years of pain and solitude wasn't worth meeting me."
"I wasn't always alone." he argued, biting his lip as he looked at Jude. "I…I just…I don't know."
"But you weren't cared for in the way that you should've been," Jude said, looking at him with a softened frown. He shook his head, sighing after a moment of quiet thought. "Nyx, I don't wanna upset you any more about this. We should leave it behind, but you just have to understand that none of this was your fault. None of it."
Nyx fidgeted a little bit. "I'm, uhm…okay." he said quietly, chewing on his lower lip. "Sorry." he leaned into Jude.
Jude almost sighed again, sliding an arm around Nyx's waist. "Don't apologize, it's okay," He said, glancing at him with a faint smile, "We're both trying to figure this out. And we will. We'll make a plan or something in case things go bad; it'll be okay."
Nyx nodded slightly. "Okay." he replied in a quiet voice, still leaning against Jude.
"Okay," Jude echoed, letting out a slow sigh and trying to quiet his thoughts, "Do you still…wanna walk around? We can go home if you're tired."
Nyx shrugged a little bit. "I don't know." he said quietly, looking up at Jude. "I…I guess so."
Jude nodded, pressing a faint kiss on his cheek. "Whatever you want," He told him, looking down at him with a faint smile, "We have lots of time, so if you wanna stay, or go home, we can."
