That scar was… particularly fun. Upon close inspection, it looked like several thick likes overlapping one another. It was one of 3 scars from the prison camp. It was his least favorite to talk about. It was the one Eerie asked about, so it was the one whose story he would tell. "Same place as the poker scar. Not hot iron though. I was tied up, hands lashed to a pole. Blindfolded. They whipped me. For hours. Forty…three strokes. One for each man I had killed."
The scene replayed in his head. A rock dug into his left knee, his wrists hurt from pulling at the rope. He was thirsty. So thirsty. The ar was dry and his lips were so chapped they were bleeding. The whip came once. Out of the blue. It hit randomly, the pain never numbed. The only wound they bandaged, if only to keep him from dying right away.
Eerie rubbed Levi’s neck gently, gazing transfixed at his profile.
“It’s over now, though,” He pointed out softly. The air was now thick and rich, there was little to no discomfort. The only thing on Levi’s legs/ lap was Eerie’s left leg. Eerie rested his head on Levi’s chest, still rubbing his neck.
“Thank you for telling me all of that. It’s nice to know. And fascinating.”
"It's never over," Levi muttered, resting his chin on Eerie's shoulder. Eerie was such a contrast to Levi's history. It was comfortable. It pulled him from his memories. He liked feeling Eerie rub his neck. Apparently, he liked being petted. Who knew? "You wanted to know. I told you what you wanted."
Eerie rose his head slighty to look at Levi. This brought their noses close. So close they were touching. Their lips were only a couple inches apart.
“I know I did. I shouldn’t have reminded you. I’m grateful.”
Gratitude. That was new. Nobody who had mattered had ever told him they were grateful. Did Eerie matter? Levi didn't know. Eerie felt like he mattered. That should be enough. If that wasn't enough, what else could Levi trust? "It's okay. It's not your fault." It was Levi's fault. He was the one remembering. He was the one falling back into the past.
Eerie identified the careful look on Levi’s face. He looked bad for no reason. Eerie ran his hand Levi’s chest, trying to bring Levi’s attention away. He squeezed Levi’s hand again.
“It is my fault. I’m willing to accept it.”
"It's not. You didn't do anything." Knowing someone who didn't take his words as the final thoughts on a subject was strange and new. Levi didn't know how to feel about it. Eerie kept pushing his boundaries and telling him that he was good and saying things weren't his fault and Levi couldn't keep up. He didn't know if he wanted to keep up. That was the real problem- that fact that Levi had to want things.
Eerie got slightly irritated at Levi’s “It’s not”. Eerie had brought up a sensitive subject, and without thinking whatsoever, leaned forward a little. He encased Levi’s lips into a kiss in the middle of his second sentence/phrase-thing. He wasn’t sure why he grabbed Levi into such a sudden kiss, but it didn’t feel wrong. Not like the one on their wedding night.
Levi made a small noise of surprise, but pulled Eerie a little closer, until his husband was straddling his lap. From there he slung his arms over Eerie's shoulders. The kiss was gentle, one of the softer kisses Levi had gotten in his lifetime. It was nice. It felt right. Eerie was a fairly attractive guy, the kind Sequoia would've tried to pair him up with. It was only natural that Levi would like him. But why did he like Levi?
Eerie moved forward slightly. The straddling strained the towel around his waist but he didn’t mind. Levi was his husband, after all. They didn’t have to worry about anything. No judgement, no whispers behind each other’s backs. Eerie tilted his head slightly, half-closing his eyes. He knew this type of relationship is what he wanted, in fact, needed. He liked how forgiving and humble Levi was. Especially how soft his lips were…
Levi didn't do much during the kiss. Absorbing everything that was going on, especially the fact that he'd gotten a husband who liked him- who was willing to kiss him and tell him he was good- was proving difficult. He tilted his head a little, but for the most part, he let Eerie take the lead.
After a few minutes, he pulled away. There was one question that kept popping up in the back of his mind. It distracted him from how good everything felt. "Why me?"
Eerie made a faint noise when Levi pulled away. He didn’t want to loose the friction he was aiming for. Eerie looked at Levi in the eyes, thinking about his question. There wasn’t a straight answer. He took a few moments before responding with, “Why not you? You’re handsome, humble, not judgmental… you were really everything I was looking for.”
"You were looking for someone?" Who could Eerie have ended up with if he hadn't been forced to marry Levi? What kind of perfect person could he be kissing now if Levi didn't exist? He couldn't even interact with Eerie in the right way, judging by the tiny noise of disappointment he'd made when Levi pulled away.
Eerie sighed and pulled Levi’s head closer. “Don’t take it the wrong way. You are my perfect person. I wouldn’t want it any other way, I promise.” He gently kissed Levi again, trying to tempt him back into kissing him.
Yeah right. Levi hadn't been a perfect person a day in his life. He collapsed and he was weak and he couldn't do what people wanted him to. Who could love such a monumental fuckup? Certainly not any sane human being. He let Eerie kiss him, but he didn't do anything himself. That wasn't how he knew to do things. He was supposed to take what people gave him and be grateful he'd gotten anything at all.
Eerie only kept the kiss for a few more moments. He let go of Levi’s lips and tucked his head under Levi’s neck. He relaxed the tension in his hips, the slight strain merely because of the straddling. He decided not to support the taughtness. Something irreversable was said, from Eerie’s side, and the worst part was he wasn’t sure what it was. He just rested his head, relaxed his body and went into an unsatisfied stupor. He knew Levi’d do what he wanted if he asked, but that wouldn’t feel right. He started to doubt his the latter liked him at all, and shifted slightly on his lap. Eerie was just stuck, unsure what to think.
When Eerie went still, letting the tension slide from his body, Levi began wondering what he had done wrong. Was Eerie uncomfortable? Levi picked him up a little and adjusted his legs so he would be sitting sideways instead of straddling. Maybe Levi had been too still. Maybe he hadn't been still enough. Was he supposed to lay his hands on Eerie? Hold him down? Or was he not allowed to touch at all? "What did I do?"
Eerie dipped his frown deeper. His lips twitched slightly in unhappiness. He had done something wrong. He shifted his legs closed and dipped his head to his crossed hands. He just shook his head at Levi’s question. Pressure pushed at his lids but he ignored it. He couldn’t cry, he couldn’t be disappointed. He just moved too fast. Eerie suddenly felt glad for his long hair, hanging between them, lank and slightly greasy. This gave him a forced reminder of who he truly was. A spoiled prince. He didn’t have scars on his chest and back. He was just skinny and pale, with no signs of wear and tear. Thanks to the many years he was kept in the castle, treated like a trophy.
Levi pulled Eerie a little closer to his chest, seeking any kind of comfort from the boy on his lap. He felt like a child, holding a teddy bear in the middle of the night to protect him from the monsters under his bed. Of course, the real monster was always the thing plotting in the war room, the man who wore the crown. Levi had always known that. Always would know that.
But right now Eerie needed something, and Levi needed to give it to him because Eerie seemed sad. A frown had crept onto his face and he still wasn't moving. What had he seemed to like before? Kissing. Kissing had been good. Levi hesitantly leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto Eerie's lips.
Eerie pulled away again and curled his legs closer to himself. He dipped his head again, mumbling a soft apology. He didn’t want to provoke Levi. He didn’t want him to try and cheer him up for his (meaning Eerie) mistake. He’d just pushed it too far. Much too far. What was he even expecting?
A small frown formed on Levi's usually blank face. Why was Eerie apologizing? What did Eerie think he did wrong? He let Eerie pull away from him, but his arms felt empty. It was strange how fast Levi could bond to a person he trusted. If Eerie left, or stopped talking to him, or disappeared Levi could already tell he wouldn't be the same. "What did you do?
Eerie hugged himself. He’d rather be on Levi’s lap, straddling and kissing him, letting that tension build, but the thought of it made him feel guiltier. He was truly a thirsty as all hell person. Of course, Levi’s skin was addicting, he still felt his fingers tingling, but he couldn’t indulge. That’d be selfish and stupid.
“I just… rushed. I’m sorry.” He barely answered and blinked tears out of his eyes. He needed to get his emotions into check.
"You did?" Levi was being totally sincere when he asked the question. The kisses had been spontaneous sure, but that didn't make them any less enjoyable. And now Eerie was crying. In Levi's lap. Because he thought he'd made a mistake. Would Eerie like it if Levi wiped his tears? Or would he slap his hands away and make Levi watch as he bawled? Touching someone without permission seemed so… wrong. He wouldn't have the courage to wipe Eerie's tears anyways.
Eerie covered his face with his hands. He really needed to stop overreacting. It made him feel meager and weak compared to Levi’s cool-headedness. Why couldn’t he— Eerie— be tht way? He shut his eyes and nodded slowly. Rush was bad for a relationship, but Eerie knew he and Levi’s was different. Of course, he couldn’t prove it. He wasn’t even sure how Levi felt!
"You can kiss me… I… like it." It was weirdly hard for Levi to acknowledge what he liked. He'd never verbatim told someone that he liked something. What if this was all a ruse and Eerie was waiting for Levi to admit what he liked so he could take that thing away? What if Levi had messed this up so badly that Eerie never wanted to see him again?