Cameron's eyes flashed open, his hands coming up defensively as he looked up at Calixto. He didn't seem to recognize the other man for a minute, then blinked hard and covered his face. "Sorry…" he said quietly, taking a deep, shaky breath and trying to calm down, trying to push away those memories.
Calixto flinched slightly at the hands coming straight for him before reminding himself that Cameron wouldn't hurt him. He backed away, going to sit on the carpet in front of the couch. "It's fine," Cal said calmly. Internally, he didn't like seeing the other suffer so much in his sleep. "You don't have to be sorry for something you can't control."
Cameron nodded a little bit. "I, uhm, don't sleep well. Sometimes. It's…nothing you need to…worry about. I didn't mean to wake you…you can go back to sleep if you want."
Calixto simply stared at the other for a moment. He reminded him of himself sometimes. Of the others in that cold basement he "slept" in all those years ago. "I've never been able to sleep. Not like earlier… which I thank you for. I may be used to lack of sleep, but as far as I'm aware, humans aren't. I know a nightmare when I see it. You're welcome to talk about it if you need."
Cameron raised his eyebrows a little, glancing over at Calixto. "I…I don't know." He replied simply. "I just…the war, and…" He shook his head helplessly. "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying you're sorry. You didn't make that war happen," Cal said, looking at his feet for the moment. He was doing his best to say something remotely comforting, but he didn't know how. The best he could do was make himself available he supposed.
"I– was part of it, though." he replied quietly. "I…everyone like me…" the Berserkers. Who had been forced to fight in the Empire's army instead of for Kevra, who were hunted down like animals and slaughtered when the war was over.
Cal sighed, aggravated. "That's like saying I was a part in enslaving my own race," he spat. It sounded like a mix of frustration and a bit of mirth. "Neither of us had control, so it wasn't your fault, okay?"
Cameron blinked at Cal, eyes flickering slightly, then he looked down at his hands again. "Alright." he replied simply. He didn't really want to argue about this, so he just said "alright" to stop the arguement.
Calixto seemed to calm down a bit at the simple word, happy he didn't have to argue over something that was very sensitive for the both of them. "Try and go back to sleep. You'll need it."
Cameron shrugged a little bit. "I…don't know if I can, to be honest." he replied slowly, looking over at Calixto, then down at his hands. "I'm sorry. I just…I don't know. I can't always sleep again after a nightmare."
Calixto frowned knowingly. It was never easy to sleep after experiencing something so horrific. Especially after it had seemed so real. "Don't apologise. I understand. You should try though."
Cameron shrugged a little bit. "I won't be able to, Calixto." he replied simply. "I…I really won't." With Roshan, when one of them had had a nightmare, then it had been easy enough to curl up together and sleep like that, and he had been able to do that, but he couldn't ask that of Calixto.
"I wasn't really asking," Calixto countered, looking the other in the eyes. It was the truth. Cameron was the first person he at least somewhat cared about. Perhaps it was better to phrase it as he was willing to learn to care for the other male. Even if he was human. Mostly.
Cameron blinked. "Oh. Alright." he said, laying down but not closing his eyes. He didn't know how to communicate it to Calixto that he couldn't sleep again, not after what he had dreamed of, not after what he remembered.
Calixto was about to speak again when he noticed that Cameron still had his eyes open. Cal narrowed his eyes before standing and taking the taller male in his arms without warning. It felt extremely awkward to be doing this. He didn't really understand what was going on in his brain at the moment either. Taking Cameron, he walked over to the bed a few feet away and set him down carefully. "Sleep."
Cameron froze a little bit when he felt Calixto's arms, eyes flashing up to Calixto. "I…I already told you that I can't." he said, not sure why Calixto had carried him but not really questioning it either.
(honestly Cal is starting to kind of sound like a tsundere hahahaaaaa)
(Cal: sleep)
(Cam: I can't???)
(Cal: sleep because i care about you)
(Cam: wait you what)
(Cal: sleep.)
(Cam: ?????)
(lmaoooooo yup)
Before responding, Calixto moved to lean against the headboard of the bed. "You haven't tried, so don't blame me if I don't believe you at the moment," he stated, a light smirk playing at his lips. Somehow, this felt a bit familiar to part of what he used to do. But different. He chose to try and care for someone rather than being forced to.
Cameron blinked at him. "But why should I try if I know that I won't be able to?" he asked quietly, looking up at Calixto.
"Can't you accept that someone is concerned for your health?" Calixto asked, his smile turning into a light frown.
"That's…that doesn't have anything to do with this. I'm just saying that I don't think I can get back to sleep." he said, looking away and shaking his head, frowning.
(Hecc I'm back)
Cal simply sighed. "Alright," he said softly, now looking past Cameron next to him and out the window. "If… you really don't want to, then don't."
Internally, he considered suggesting they lay on the roof once again and stargazing until sunrise, but chose to keep his mouth shut.
(:D)
Cameron nodded a little, closing his eyes tiredly and letting out a quiet breath. "Alright." He replied simply, unsure what else to say or do right now.
Calixto leaned his head back onto the headboard after watching the other male's eyes close. All of that for Cameron to simply give in and at least relax. He frowned, remembering what had happened the last time they were in bed together. At least they were both awake now. He was mostly worried about Cameron's dye rubbing out again. The bottles were still sitting in the bathroom, but not an extra patch. "Do you have another patch for the morning if it rubs off?" Cal asked quietly.
(Honestly we should just title the RP: Turns Out Trauma Is A Good Thing To Bond Over)
(ooh yes perfect)
Cameron opened his eyes again, and nodded. "I grabbed one. 's in my pocket." he replied, running a hand through his hair and looking up at Calixto. "Thanks." he added. "For…thinking of that. Of me. I…" he didn't know what he was saying. It was late and sometimes that still caused issues with his speech, with speaking in ways that could be understood rather than in Kevran.
(bump?)
(Eee sorry!)
Calixto simply shrugged. He didn't think much of the patch, but knew how important it was to keep Cameron's tattoo a secret. No one could know or the male would be killed. He couldn't watch someone die. Not again.