forum Turns out Trauma is a Good Thing to Bond Over // OxO with Iris

Started October 19, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

Cameron continued to sleep as well, laying beside Calixto with his hands folded over his stomach.

A few hours past, both of them seeming to be able to sleep for the entire night now. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case as Cal jolted awake upon hearing someone and from the jerky movements at his side.

Cameron was twitching, jerking, soft sounds tearing from his throat. He didn't usually ahve nightmares, but here he was, dreaming again. Of the war, of fighting until he dropped to the ground unable to go on anymore, bleeding.

Calixto's eyes widened in fear. He didn't know what to do. Sure, he had seen others break down in such a way, but that was long ago. And he had been under someone else's control. Being in this situation scared him more than anything because he had no idea how to comfort someone. Biting his lip, Cal figured it was best to just wake Cameron up. Getting up from the couch, he stood beside the other male and began shaking him by the shoulders. "Cameron, wake up."

Cameron's eyes flashed open, his hands coming up defensively as he looked up at Calixto. He didn't seem to recognize the other man for a minute, then blinked hard and covered his face. "Sorry…" he said quietly, taking a deep, shaky breath and trying to calm down, trying to push away those memories.

Calixto flinched slightly at the hands coming straight for him before reminding himself that Cameron wouldn't hurt him. He backed away, going to sit on the carpet in front of the couch. "It's fine," Cal said calmly. Internally, he didn't like seeing the other suffer so much in his sleep. "You don't have to be sorry for something you can't control."

Cameron nodded a little bit. "I, uhm, don't sleep well. Sometimes. It's…nothing you need to…worry about. I didn't mean to wake you…you can go back to sleep if you want."

Calixto simply stared at the other for a moment. He reminded him of himself sometimes. Of the others in that cold basement he "slept" in all those years ago. "I've never been able to sleep. Not like earlier… which I thank you for. I may be used to lack of sleep, but as far as I'm aware, humans aren't. I know a nightmare when I see it. You're welcome to talk about it if you need."

Cameron raised his eyebrows a little, glancing over at Calixto. "I…I don't know." He replied simply. "I just…the war, and…" He shook his head helplessly. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry. You didn't make that war happen," Cal said, looking at his feet for the moment. He was doing his best to say something remotely comforting, but he didn't know how. The best he could do was make himself available he supposed.

"I– was part of it, though." he replied quietly. "I…everyone like me…" the Berserkers. Who had been forced to fight in the Empire's army instead of for Kevra, who were hunted down like animals and slaughtered when the war was over.

Cal sighed, aggravated. "That's like saying I was a part in enslaving my own race," he spat. It sounded like a mix of frustration and a bit of mirth. "Neither of us had control, so it wasn't your fault, okay?"

Cameron blinked at Cal, eyes flickering slightly, then he looked down at his hands again. "Alright." he replied simply. He didn't really want to argue about this, so he just said "alright" to stop the arguement.

Calixto seemed to calm down a bit at the simple word, happy he didn't have to argue over something that was very sensitive for the both of them. "Try and go back to sleep. You'll need it."

Cameron shrugged a little bit. "I…don't know if I can, to be honest." he replied slowly, looking over at Calixto, then down at his hands. "I'm sorry. I just…I don't know. I can't always sleep again after a nightmare."

Calixto frowned knowingly. It was never easy to sleep after experiencing something so horrific. Especially after it had seemed so real. "Don't apologise. I understand. You should try though."

Cameron shrugged a little bit. "I won't be able to, Calixto." he replied simply. "I…I really won't." With Roshan, when one of them had had a nightmare, then it had been easy enough to curl up together and sleep like that, and he had been able to do that, but he couldn't ask that of Calixto.

"I wasn't really asking," Calixto countered, looking the other in the eyes. It was the truth. Cameron was the first person he at least somewhat cared about. Perhaps it was better to phrase it as he was willing to learn to care for the other male. Even if he was human. Mostly.

Cameron blinked. "Oh. Alright." he said, laying down but not closing his eyes. He didn't know how to communicate it to Calixto that he couldn't sleep again, not after what he had dreamed of, not after what he remembered.