forum Do you really want to trust insanity? (Private with Icefire, it's pretty fooking mature, matey)

Started December 04, 2019 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

Alex flinched again at the touch, sucking in a breath. "I…please don't touch me." He said quickly, pulling away. His eyes flickered open, looking at Gabriel with wide eyes.

Gabriel withdrew his hand, respectful of Alex.
"I'm sorry," he said. His eyes looked at Alex's. It might have been as if he was searching Alex's soul, if it had not been for the warm, respectful way Gabriel held his gaze.

Alex swallowed, and took a deep breath. He was mumbling the numbers again, raking a hand through his brown hair. He was shaking slightly. He couldn't stop remembering the cell. The blood, the walls. Screaming. Water.

Gabriel stayed by Alex's side, careful not to touch him again.
"Where are you right now?" He probed gently, not meaning the alleyway.

Alex shuddered. "Bedlam…" He breathed. Bedlam asylum, in Britain. Well known, even here across the sea. He shuddered again, eyes squeezing shut tight.

Gabriel's lips pursed into a thin line. He'd heard about Bedlam.
"Is anyone else there?" He asked, just as calmly. He needed to know exactly what he needed to talk Alex out of.

"Nurse." He whispered, taking shaky breaths. "Not the normal one. This one is worse." She had tied him in the restraints again, and had one of the male nurses carry him. It hurt. He was being held too tightly and his bones felt like they would crack, and he knew they hated him because of the way they looked at him.

"What can you feel touching you right now?" Gabriel pursed his lips; this was very serious.

"Water." Alex replied after a moment. "I-it's the hydrotherapy again, I can't…" he was shaking again, feeling again the weight on top of him, keeping him still as the tub filled with water, either ice cold or burning hot, and no matter what he said or how he pleaded, they wouldn't stop.

Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek, staring at Alex. The things he must have gone through…
"Open your eyes," he instructed gently. "And look at me."

Alex forced his eyes open, still shaking, his hands curled into fists on his knees. His green eyes were wide and afraid and full of pain and memory. He wouldn't drown, he wouldn't, they didn't fill it up enough for that, but he wished he could submerge his head and just drown because then this would end and he could be free of this free of all of this.

"Do you see me?" Gabriel asked. He wanted to give Alex a physical tether to the present, but he had already said he didn't want Gabriel touching him. Instead, he would have to find another way.

Alex forced a slow nod, staring at Gabriel. He pressed the heel of one hand to his forehead. "Yeah but I…I…" but his head was too full of memories and pain for him to be able to pull himself out of them yet, for him to be able to stop the cascade that kept pouring into him.

"What do you notice about my face?" Gabriel asked. If he could manage to get Alex to focus on him, it would be so much easier to pull him out of this.

"I…" Alex trailed off, eyes searching Gabriel's face. "Uhm…b-brown hair, blue eyes." he said slowly, hands twitching on his knees. "Uh…"

Gabriel nodded once.
"Now, can you feel the wall behind you?"

Alex took a shaky breath, and nodded a little bit, the world around him feeling more solid again. "Y-yeah…" He stammered.

"Okay then, describe it to me." Gabriel watched Alex closely, careful to pay close attention to how he was acting.

"Ah…bricks." Alex said. "Reddish. Stained with dirt." He described slowly, feeling more and more grounded as he continued, his breathing evening out again.

Gabriel nodded, watching as Alex's breathing evened out.
"Do you feel better?" he asked, once he judged that Alex had calmed down enough.

Alex nodded a little. "Yes. I…thank you." He said quietly, running a hand through his hair.

"You're welcome." Gabriel gave Alex a kind smile, still staying on his knees by Alex's side.
"My name's Gabriel; it's nice to meet you."

"Alexander Swanson." Alex replied after a moment. "It's, ah…nice to meet you." He said, offering up a small smile in return.

Gabriel nodded one in recognition to Alex, the looked at the entrance of the alleyway; the sidewalks and streets were still crowded. He turned back to Alex.
"So, Mr. Swanson, where were you going before this? I could help you get there without having to deal with the crowds again."

"You can just call me Alex." He replied. "And I uhm…I don't know." He hesitated a moment. "I just got here a few days ago." Here. Back to America. In New York.

"I see. Do you have a place to stay then?" Gabriel knew that a lot of people who came from overseas usually didn't have a permanent place to stay.

Alex shook his head. "No. I-I…no." He had thought he would. Henry. Henry had said he loved him. But…but Alex had come back, had knocked on the door…and Henry was married. Henry had a child. Henry…hated him, now. Hated him. His hands balled into fists again.

Gabriel's eyebrows furrowed a bit when he saw Alex's fists.
"Well, you could come stay with me, at least until you have a place of your own. I live in Brooklyn, though." He tilted his head a bit, not sure if she's would take up his offer or not. He figured it would be better than she'd staying… Wherever he had been. Probably the streets. Contrary to popular belief, those who were challenged mentally shouldn't have to live on the streets or those good forsaken a asylums.

Alex blinked, looking at Gabriel. "But…" He drew his eyebrows together. But he knows about Bedlam. Why would he trust me if…if he knows I've been in Bedlam? For all he knows, I'm a psychopath and murderer.

"But what?" Gabriel asked. He was used to housing those who had just gotten out of asylums; he knew servers nurses who would tell patients to come to his house after they were let it, even. He was one of the few who actually helped.
"I don't care about where you're coming from. You're here now, and it's a tad bit obvious you're gonna need someone around. I don't mind." He gave Alex an inviting smile.