forum Do you really want to trust insanity? (Private with Icefire, it's pretty fooking mature, matey)

Started December 04, 2019 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

Alex shuddered a little. "I-I…are you sure?" He asked slowly, looking at Gabriel. He tugged on the sleeves of his shirt. His fingers were thin, as was every bit of him. Too thin, really.

"Of course I'm sure. So… Is that a yes?" Alex looked like he hadn't eaten in ages; Gabriel was at least going to buy him something to eat, where he took up his offer or not.

Alex nodded slowly. "Yeah. I-I…yeah." he replied, looking at Gabriel carefully. His green eyes were clearer, now, less distorted and afraid.

Gabriel nodded once. He stood, starting to hold his hand out to help Alex up but remembered how he reacted to touch earlier. He pulled his hand back to his side.
"How about we go get you something to eat first?"

Alex stood up, looking at Gabriel still. He nodded. "Alright." he replied, running a hand through his hair. "Thank you." he adjusted his coat.

"Here, I know a place." Gabriel stated Susan the alley, motioning for Alex to follow. He led Alex through the streets, keeping to the roads and alley ways that didn't have many people on them.

Alex followed him closely, careful not to brush up against anyone. He took a deep breath, reaching inside of his jacket and brushing a finger against the journal tucked inside of it.

Gabriel would glance back occasionally to make sure Alex was still okay, bringing him to a small, indiscrete bar.
"This place doesn't get many customers, but they have good food," Gabe said, holding the door open for Alex to go in.

Alex nodded a little, and went inside, looking around as he did. His arms were tucked close to his body, making him look as small as possible. His brown hair was hanging into his face a little, starting to escape its ponytail.

Gabe walked in as well, letting the door close behind him quietly. He walked over to the counter, speaking with the man there for a moment before coming back over to Alex.
"I have a place we can sit where no one will bother us- sound good?"

Alex nodded a little. "Yeah. Thank you." he said quietly, looking around, then back at Gabriel. "I…thank you." he said again, rubbing the side of his arm with a hand.

"You're welcome!" Gabe smiled, leading Alex to a corner booth. A man came by, dropping off some food, but after that they were alone.
"You doing better?"

Alex nodded a little. "Yeah." he replied, his mouth twitching in a quick, faint smile. He placed his hands on the table. "I just…if you know anything about…about Bedlam, why would you…?"

Gabe shrugged. He liked it when it seemed like Alex was going to smile. He told himself it was because Alex was going through hard times.
"I know a lot of people who've been in asylums, even Bedlam. Just because they aren't the same as me doesn't mean I shouldn't test then like people. And it doesn't make them bad people, anyway."

Alex looked down at his hands for a moment. I killed people. I hurt a child because I was angry. I… He swallowed, and shrugged a little. "But you don't know anything about me." he responded softly.

"I know you've gone through some really bad things in your life, and that you've probably made a few mistakes. We all do. To be honest, you could have killed someone and I wouldn't care. All that matters is you get some actual help, and work to not make the same mistakes." Gabe looked at Alex a moment, giving him a small smile.

Alex shrugged, looking at his hands again. "Alright." he replied softly. He swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment, then looking at Gabriel cautiously.

Gabe looked back for a moment, then pushed the plate of food over to Alex.
"You should eat something," he said gently.

Alex looked at the food. He took a small bite, eyes flickering for a moment. As he reached out with his hand, his sleeve rode up, revealing scars that reached all the way around his wrist. The type that came from the skin being rubbed raw over and over and over and over.

Gabe saw the scars, saying nothing. He'd seen scars like that before.
"When was the last time you ate until you were full, if you don't mind me asking?" He said.

Alex thought for a long moment, then shrugged. "I don't know. I got used to not getting much." he looked away for a moment, tugging his sleeve back down and biting his lip.

Gabe shrugged.
"Well, you can have as much as you want right now. I'll order more of need to."

Alex studied him. "I-I can't pay you back." he said softly. "I don't have…" he bit his lip a little bit, fidgeting with his hands.

Gabe waved his hand dismissively.
"There's no need to repay me. Don't worry about it." He gave Alex another smile.

Alex swallowed slightly, looking down at his plate quickly. He had always been a sucker for cute boys smiling at him, but he couldn't afford to be anymore. Not when…not when he didn't have anything, and if Gabriel found out that not only was he probably insane, but he was a sodomite…that couldn't end well. It never did.

Gabe watched Alex for a moment, looking away when he felt that way again. Alex was a man; how dare Gabe think about him like that!
Gabe was a bit surprised when another plate of food arrived at the table.
"Frederick said you looked too hungry," the man said gruffly.

Alex glanced up when the man brought more food, then looked back down at his plate, eating some more. If he was honest, he wasn't sure how much he could eat right now. How much before his stomach was too full, unused to having enough to eat.

Gabe sighed as the man walked away.
"Well then… If you have anything left over, we can always take it back to the apartment." He shrugged.

Alex peeked over at Gabriel again, and nodded a little. "Alright. Uhm…thank you." he said softly, eating some more.

Gabe looked away again, nodding once. He'd never been much of a Catholic- his mother had raised him in a Protestant church- he felt like going to confession wouldn't be such a bad idea. Then he would be able to tell someone how he felt about men without them knowing who he was, and he could seek guidance from the Lord as to how to get rid of these heretic feelings. It had been a while since he had last felt them, and now he wasn't so sure letting Alex stay at his home was such a good idea. It was as if the devil was tempting him with someone in need, to try to pull him away from God.