"So… if you're okay with it, I'd really like it if you stayed with me tonight. Then we can talk about what happened in the morning, when you're not drunk," he offered. Julian reached up and curled a lock of hair around his finger and pulled. The pain kept him focused.
Julian wanted him to… stay over? The fact didn’t fully register in Sebastian’s head, rather, it was the second part that worried him. The part about talking things over. Still, he nodded, resuming his scratching. “Okay.”
"Really?" Julian said. He hadn't expected him to agree… but this was good. This meant he would be able to keep an eye on him, and maybe come up with a plan to get him some help. He made a mental note to lock up his medication when he got home. "Okay, well, we can leave whenever you're ready. I'm pretty sure my boss will let me off early."
Sebastian nodded, not entirely sure about what he was agreeing to. “Okay.”
He was about to grab his keys when he remembered that he had taken strong medication. Really strong medication. Within a few minutes, things would get bright and unfocused, and he'd probably be stumbling. He'd be high as fuck. "I might have to call a cab though… is that okay?"
Once again, Sebastian nodded without fully registering the question, swaying as he rose unsteadily to his feet. “Yeah.”
"Are you doing okay?" Julian asked, standing up with him. "You seem pretty wasted."
“Wasted….” Sebastian’s thoughts drifted, causing him to forget the context of the statement. “You wasted your time on me…”
"I'm not giving up on you," Julian said. He didn't see any of this as wasted time. Whether he failed or not, he was trying to save the life of somebody he cared about. "Anyway, you're drunk. You need to go to sleep."
Sleep… even in its shitshow of a state, Sebastian’s mind connected the unpleasant word with another: dreams. Nightmares. He shuddered, not fully grasping the fact that he was nodding instead of shaking his head.
Julian sighed. "Alright, uh… I'll text my boss and call a cab for us, then we can both get some rest." That was partially a lie. Even with his medication, there was no way Julian would get any sleep tonight. He might not sleep for days, but he was used to it.
(two things
( • maybe we should skip to speed things along?
• don’t worry about it, most of my characters have fucked up backgrounds too, I’m used to it)
(alright, when should we skip to?
and his backstory is so fucked I actually feel bad for even writing it… but I just thought I'd warn you. I could tell you what it is so you can decide whether or not you still want it a part of this rp lol)
(Nah it’s fine, keep it
Do you want to skip to morning?)
(Yeah sure)
~~~
It was not the shafts of sunlight streaming in through the window that drew Sebastian from his fitful sleep the next day, but a throbbing headache and a nausea rooted deep in his gut. He groaned, pushing himself up into a seating position, and froze the moment his eyes opened.
Julian noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and looked over, seeing Sebastian sitting up on the couch. It was around 9:30. Julian hadn't slept all night. "You're awake," he noted, forcing a small smile. "How'd you sleep?"
Julian? It took a few seconds for the realization to hit him— the memories of what had happened the past night were hazy due to the alcohol he’d consumed. Fuck. Sebastian’s jaw slackened. “I— shit. Shit.”
"Don't panic, it's okay. Take a moment to get yourself together," Julian said. "I can get you some coffee and tylenol for your hangover." He was a lot calmer and more collected than he was last night. The only evidence of his stress and panic were his slightly bloodshot eyes and dark circles.
Sebastian’s throat began to close up, a strangled breath emerging from his mouth. Shit. Shit— I fucked up so bad— His hands tightened around the armrest of the couch, eyes darting around the room. “Fuck— I’m sorry—“ The sight of the dark circles beneath Julian’s eyes only heightened his panic, a sign that the other man had stayed up for him. “I should— I should go—“
"No, don't," Julian said quickly. He swallowed, fighting his panic. He wasn't high on Valium anymore, so it more difficult, but he managed. "Just stay and talk to me, please. I want to help."
Sebastian froze as he was pushing himself up from the couch, hands visibly shaking. “I— I have to—“
"At least take a minute to calm down, please. You just woke up and you're hungover. Let me make you some coffee," he offered. He knew he couldn't keep him there forever, but he wanted to calm him down as much as he could, first. Now that he was sober, he hoped he had a better chance at talking to him.
Hesitation flickered across his stricken face, but he nodded tentatively. “O-Okay. Thank you,” he relented, averting his eyes. His face burned with shame.
Julian disappeared into the kitchen to make coffee. While he waited for it to brew, he leaned against the counter, still trying to process what was going on. Sebastian, the cute guy at the bar the one he had developed a small crush on, tried to take his own life. He even wrote a letter, which Julian had folded up and put in his pocket last night. He couldn't bring himself to read it. And to make matters worse, Sebastian seemed scared. Terrified. Julian had no idea how to make him feel safe. I just have to hope this is enough, he thought, sighing as he poured the coffee.