forum what no I'm not in too many one on ones

Started January 06, 2019 by @SaltyLasagna

tune

(Yes, please create one! Thank you both! I’m sorry, and I promise I’ll never interrupt again after this.)

Hm your username isn’t showing up when I try to PM you, I’ll just make a chat on Limited

"Do you think you're going to cause me less stress by leaving, after what happened?" He sighed, leaning against the wall for support, but tried to make it look like he was doing it casually. Just a little longer. You can get through this. Don't fall apart yet. "Look, maybe we can talk this out somewhere else. Somewhere more comfortable than a bathroom in a bar. It might help."

Sebastian visibly tensed, alarms and warning bells going off in his head despite his drunken state. “Like— Like where?”

"My boss's office is in the back. He trusts me enough to let him use it. There's tea and coffee back there, too. And a rolly chair." He was digging his nails into his palms now. He made a mental note to take his emergency anxiety meds as soon as he got the chance.

Intoxicated or not, Sebastian was intimately familiar with the signs of an oncoming anxiety attack. Horrible guilt immediately twisted his stomach, but he gathered enough wits to take a step forwards. “If- If it’ll help you, fine. Do you- do you have anxiety meds? Anything?”

"Well, yeah, but it wouldn't be a great idea to mix them with alcohol," he said, assuming Sebastian was asking for himself.

Sebastian blinked, confusion cutting through his distress for a split second. “N-No— not for me. I just— I don’t want you to— panic attack.”

It took Julian a moment to process that. His brain was starting to get foggy. "What? No, don't— don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

Sebastian shook his head, almost toppling in the process. “At least- at least take care of yourself. Then I’ll come.”

Julian stepped forward, holding his arm out to make sure Sebastian didn't fall over. He seemed really drunk. "I don't have them on me right now, they're in the back room."

“Then let’s— let’s go there.” He did his best to stay upright, but his hands were shaking too badly to properly steady himself, and at the moment, he was craving nothing but the sweet kiss of death.

"I can help you walk there," Julian offered. "You don't seem like you're doing too well."

“I—“ I am alone. I don’t deserve help. “I guess. Sorry— I’m sorry.”

"Don't apologize, it's okay," he said, trying to reassure him. "Here, put your arm around my shoulders, I'll help you."

Sebastian did as instructed, sagging against the redheaded man who seemed so determined to help him. I’m sorry Julian.. h don’t want to be helped… as soon as you leave me alone…

Julian wrapped and arm around him to support him, then began walking. He glanced over at the mess of pills on the bathroom floor. I'll get a coworker to clean that up for me, he thought before opening the door and helping Sebastian to his boss's office. His boss wasn't in there, so he just decided to open the door. He'd tell him what was going on when he got back.

Sebastian was lost in the fog that clouded his head, blurring each thought that came into focus. As soon as he was alone, he’d end it— he knew that much. Somehow, he’d end it, alone, where no one could find him. But for now, he was stuck in the world of the living. Hopefully, it wouldn’t last..

Julian sighed when he was inside the office. He gestured to the swivel chair. "Here, you can have the fancy chair." He turned to the desk, where there was some fancy water heater thing that made tea and coffee. "Do you want anything to drink?"

Sebastian practically collapsed into the chair, his head spinning. “Water—“ he croaked hoarsely. “Please.”

"Yeah, sure, is hot water okay?" he asked, not seeing any other option.

“Y-Yeah.” Hot water. Sebastian clung to the feeble hope that it would burn as it went down. Pain— it was the only thing that could salvage his mind now.

"Alright. I'll make some for us both. It might take a minute though," he said as he started the hot water machine thingy. After that he sighed and plopped down in the other chair, taking a moment to try to calm himself down, though it didn't seem to be working. His heart was still pounding in his chest and he was still trembling, and every moment he had to think, it seemed to be getting worse.

Sebastian leaned over, almost falling out of his chair but catching himself at the last moment. He grasped Julian’s forearm tightly, stilling the trembling for a moment.

Julian flinched at the sudden movement, mentally cursing when he did. "Are you okay?" he asked, confused and concerned.

Drunk Sebastian wasn’t the best at conveying sympathy or calming people down, but he forced his tongue to move, uttering a stream of words he hoped maked sense. “You look— you looked panicked— just- calm down— medicine— take meds— medication—“

"I know, I will. I'm just waiting for some hot water so I don't have to swallow the pills dry," he said, smiling softly. "Don't worry about me. I'll be okay."