forum @Skylark // Private Roleplay

Started March 15, 2021 by @Fraust

tune

Sol picked up their food with one hand and gently took Joey’s hand. The angel was being so quiet, it worried him. Leading the way back up to his apartment, Sol kept glancing at Joey. What’s wrong? What can I do for him?

Joey followed Sol into the apartment, holding tightly to his hand as he glanced around warily. There's no way out of this… he'll notice if I don't eat. I'll just have to force myself through it for his sake.

Sol set the food down on the table and turned to Joey, taking his other hand. “Hey,” he said softly. “I won’t make you talk about it, but if something is wrong, you can tell me. I know we just met yesterday, but I’m here if you need anything.”

Joey looked up at Sol weakly. "It's… I-I'm fine. It's nothing, really…" He replied, his voice soft and unsure. He sat down at the table and looked down at his food, feeling a bit queasy as he stared at it.

Joey didn’t sound fine, he was just staring at his plate, at his food—oh. Sol sifted through the last day and a half and noted that he had never seen the angel eat; not at the club, not in the morning… He didn’t want to push Joey too hard, but he couldn’t leave him sitting there, so clearly not fine.

Finally, Sol sat next to Joey and carefully reached out to cup his cheek, gently tilting his face up. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Do you want me to leave the room? I can go get those books I mentioned.”

Joey looked up at Sol weakly, still seeming very apprehensive. "Leave…? Ah, n-no, you don't… you don't have to leave if you don't want to… what books are you talking about? I can't quite remember…"
His stomach growled quietly and he hugged it tightly, his cheeks lightly flushing with embarrassment. Since he was inside, he released the glamor on his wings and wrapped them around himself to feel more secure.

Sol released his own wings, arching them protectively around the angel. He gently pulled Joey’s hands from where they were wrapped around him and held them carefully, lightly brushing a thumb over his knuckles. “Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to eat,” he said, wanting to make sure Joey was comfortable. “We can save it. I have juice if you want, or I could make a
smoothie. Or we could just go read, yeah? whatever you want,Joey”

Joey closed his eyes, trying to relax into Sol's gentle touch as he nodded a bit. "O-Okay… I'm… I'm fine to go read for a while, I guess… anything is fine, I don't… I don't really care either way…" He replied weakly, still quiet and tentative. His stomach growled again and he curled up a bit.

Slo’s heart clenched at how nervous Joey seemed. He wished he could take whatever pain there was away. “Okay,” he said kindly, slowly getting up and leading Joey by the hand to his office where he had a few shelves of books, a desk, and a large round ottoman. “I have a couple of really old books I think you would appreciate.”

Joey followed Sol closely, trembling lightly. He tried to focus on the books, hesitating before tentatively pulling one off of the shelf and holding it close to his chest. "I'm… I-I'm sorry for being problematic…" He whispered shakily.

“Oh, Joey, no,” Sol said gently. “You’re not being problematic. I want you to feel comfortable, you’re no trouble whatsoever.” He sat down on the ottoman so he could better look up at Joey’s face. Stars, the angel was small. He just wanted to protect him. “I’m sorry you feel like this, just let me know what you want to do.”

Joey set the book down and hugged Sol tightly, burying his face in the other's shoulder. He was trembling a bit and didn't really seem convinced by Sol's assurances, feeling more guilty than anything. "B-But I'm… I'm being difficult…" He whispered weakly.

“No, you’re not,” Sol murmured, holding Joey close. “Joey, being uncomfortable, nervous, or wanting to do something else is not difficult, it’s being a person. You are completely and totally entitled to your feelings. I’m more than happy to stay here and read or do whatever you want.” He rubbed the angel’s back soothingly, wrapping his wings around them.

"But I'm being stupid a-and I'm probably making you worried or uncomfortable or something and your feelings are important too…" Joey hiccuped a bit and gripped Sol more tightly, his wings quivering and puffing up in distress.

“Shhh, no, estello,” Sol said soothingly, stroking Joey’s back. “Yes, feelings on both sides are important, but I am not uncomfortable. Worried, yes, because I hate to see you so distressed, but I am not upset. Please, believe me, Joey, I just want you to feel comfortable, that is how I feel right now.”

"I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry…" Joey whispered, struggling to pull himself together. He drew in a few harsh, wavering breaths, really not wanting to cry in front of Sol in addition to already having worried him. "I-I just— feel like— y-you probably think I'm annoying or weird…"

“You are nothing of the sort,” Sol murmured, holding Joey closer. “You are a person with feelings and limits just like anyone else.” He pulled back a bit to look into Joey’s eyes, cupping his face gently. “Estello, I promise you, there is no annoyance or judgment in my heart towards you.”

Joey looked up at Sol meekly, his eyes shining with tears. "B-But there's something wrong with me…" He whispered. "I'm wrong. It's all wrong, but… but I…" He paused, not entirely sure where the sentence was going. It makes me feel… good. "I don't know what good is anymore…"

“Oh, Joey,” Sol said softly, gently wiping away a few stray tears. “You are not wrong. This does not define you. As for what good is, you are good. We all need help sometimes. I can’t tell you how many times my sister has seen me have a panic attack, she does not think less of me for it Nor do I think any less of you.”

Joey buried his face in Sol's shoulder again, still shaking in the other's arms. "But I… c-can't… I can't do it…" He whispered shakily, coughing a bit. "I-I can't do this to you… I can't expect you to take on my problems. That's cruel of me."

“Joey, sweetheart, you’re not forcing anything on me,” Sol said, holding the small angel tight and rubbing small circles on his back. “I want this, to be here for you and to help you. I am choosing this, choosing you, right now.”

"B-But we just met… why do you want me?" He asked weakly, his voice a bit muffled from hiding his face. "Taking care of me is dreadful work… I wouldn't want to thrust that upon you, Sol. You deserve better than that…"

“Joey, I am over five centuries old, I have faced armies and monsters and my own demons. Taking care of you, someone I care about, would be my joy and honor. You are not thrusting anything on me, I told you that I choose this. As for why,” Sol paused. “When I walked into the bookshop, your smile lit the room. Your enthusiasm for what you love is endearing, you are considerate and sweet, and I have immensely enjoyed spending the last day with you, and hope to spend more time with you.”

Joey hiccuped and looked up at Sol again, a couple of tears rolling down his pale cheeks as he clung tighter to him. "I-I…" He flushed a bit and buried his face back in Sol's shoulder, trembling a bit more. "I don't know what to say… no one… n-no one has really bothered with me before." He hiccuped again, wrapping his wings tightly around his frail firm. "I'm just the guy who works at the bookshop… t-they don't care about me. Why do you care…?"

Sol wrapped his wings around Joey. “Why wouldn’t I care?” he asked softly, carefully stroking Joey’s wing like he had before. “You are more than you see, Joey. What do I have to do to convince you that you are worth so much?”