Despite having passed out for a few hours, Raz drifted off on the couch, clutching his notebook and pen. His hair flopped into his eyes as his breath became even and his features smoothed out into serene calmness. He dreamed of Jay and himself in a different world altogether. He found his dreams always reflected Jay's eyes, whether in the sky or when jay was present.
He gently picked the other up and carried him to his room. He laid him under the covers, pulling them up over him. He kissed his forehead lightly before heading out. He was getting restless, he couldn't stay here much longer. He wrote a short message and left it on his sketchbook before heading out.
Note: Hey there, if you're reading this, it means you're awake. I'll more than likely still be out when you get around to this. Don't worry about me, although I doubt you would anyway, I'll be fine. Take the time to relax, I'll be home eventually.
Raz awoke late in the morning, snuggling himself into the pillows and thick covers. He breathed in deeply and opened his eyes, realizing that this was not his normal apartment. He sat up slowly, the events from the day before coming back to him. With a sigh, he drew his knee's up and rested the notebook on them to begin drawing. He found the note resting on top, something he would have considered romantic if it were not for the fact that he was still mad at Jay. Although that anger was slowly waning, he still felt as if he couldn't trust him yet. He read the note over and over again, desperately wanting it to be true, no he didn't care what he did and no he didn't care for his well being. But he knew he did care and that he was slightly worried for the other. "Come back soon," he whispered softly. He set the note down carefully and looked around the room, wondering for the first time how had he'd gotten here since he distinctly remembered falling asleep on the couch. He blushed as the only explanation entered his thoughts. He carried me without taking advantage of the fact that I was vulnerable.
Jay was still out, pacing back in forth in an alley and talking to the only person that he knew would listen, mostly because he had to. Marcus. "I don't get it! How do you do it? You have it under control, why don't I?" "That's cause you're new, rookie. You don't know the signs of when you're slipping into that state. You'll learn one day." "But now I've hurt him. What if he never trusts me again?" "He won't do that." "How do you know that?" "Trust me rookie, I've been doing this a lot longer than you have, I know how people work. He'll forgive you eventually."
After a few hours, Raz got out of the bed, immediately missing the warmth from the covers. He pulled the covers over him like a cape and went to the kitchen to start breakfast. He didn't feel guilty about using what was Jay's treating it as a little payback for the evening before. as he cooked, Raz went over the thoughts of forgiving Jay, hating himself for being so human. He wanted to be ruthless and cruel like he'd seen so many fantastical creatures he'd read about. He didn't want to forgive Jay. He wanted to leave and forget about the demon who now claimed his life, soul and slowly, part of his heart. He sighed and lifted his shirt slightly, tracing over the faint scars on his stomach. Long ago, he had sworn by those scars that he never would allow another to hurt him again. What good that did.
(But he didn't do anything? He was literally just talking to him, how did he take advantage of him?)
"I don't think he will…If we were swapped, I wouldn't forgive him." "Jay, you're blowing this out of proportion. Just go back and see what's going on, maybe you two can talk it out." "Tried that already, he still hates me."
(I meant to add something between that, let change that real quick, sorry.)
After he had made breakfast, Raz sat back down on the couch and curled up in the covers, almost disappearing. He thought about the night before again after the lapse of Jay's power. Something that stuck with him was how genuine Jay seemed to be when he apologized. Raz sighed softly and shut his eyes give him another chance. He didn't hurt you…yet. Maybe he's different.
"I'm scared, Marcus, what if I ruined my chances?" "Jay, will you relax? You will go back and go talk to him. Give it another shot, maybe he'll be willing to give you a second chance. But when you start to feel that power slip, you get out of there, understand?" "Yessir."
Raz drew for most of the rest of the day, only leaving the couch to shower and snack. He drew a few more pictures, mot containing similar themes of warmer colors slowly changing to cooler colors. Some drawings were of wings, some of random blotches of color, some of the flowers from yesterday.
Jay took a deep breath and started on his way home, eventually walking inside. He smiled a little when he noticed Raz, choosing to stay by the door. "Hey, you're awake."
Raz glanced up as saw Jay come in, unable to keep a small smile of relief from spreading across his lips "yeah, I've been awake for a while, I..uhm sort of got hungry so I made some waffles. there are some extra ones if you want some." he said shyly
"Thanks. Yeah, I think I'll have one in a bit." He leaned against the door, hands in his pockets. "So, how'd you sleep?"
He blushed, somehow knowing Jay had brought him to the bed. "Uhm..I-I slept great, thanks." he glanced up at Jay. "I…i…" he didn't know what to say. He felt as ig he should apologies or maybe yell some more, but no words would form.
"If you're thinking of apologizing, don't." He sighed softly. "What I did and said was unacceptable and I know it was. It's not your place to say sorry, it's mine. So, I'm sorry. I am. I don't expect you to forgive me, I wouldn't forgive me if I was in your situation, but I am asking you to give me a second chance. Let me prove that I can be better than that." He smiled hopefully.
Raz stood from the couch, the blanket dropping off of him onto the ground. He took a few steps towards Jay and cupped his cheek. "I don't forgive you. Not yet. But I'll try." He pulled him into a quick kiss before stepping away and settling back down on the couch. "I'll try if you try."
"That's all I'm asking. Just give me a shot." He chuckled awkwardly, picking at his fingers. He sat on the couch but at the other end of it, not wanting to push him faster than he was willing with trusting him again.
Raz scooted closer to Jay and rested his head in his lap. "I hate you, for making me like you and trust you, even though I know what you are. I want that to change. I want to not hate you." he sighed softly and turned on his back to look up at jay. He reached up and played with a string of hair that was fell in Jay's face. "imma eat the waffles if you don't."
"No, I'm going to eat them but it's kinda hard to move when you're in my lap." He pointed out with a smile.
He sighed softly and curled close to the other "But I'm comfortable," he whined softly. He reluctantly shifted off of Jay to allow him to get up
"I'll bring you back a waffle, you weirdo." He ruffled his hair before heading into the kitchen and bringing back there waffles, two for himself and one for Raz.
Raz smiled softly and sat up, running a hand througt the his now ruffled hair. "Thanks," he said to Jay, munching on the waffle
He ate slowly, more or less just poking at it rather than actually eating it. He still felt so bad, just waiting for Raz to say that he was done with him and walk out.
He glanced over to him with a frown, "you don't like it?" He asked, tilting his head in worry. He finished his off and rested his head on his knees
"What? Oh, no! That's not it at all!" He sighed quietly. "Just still feeling so guilty. I'm shocked that you're even still here. I have expected you to be gone when I walked in the door."