(Ooooh, get it)
Lucian moved next to him as their course changed to the mazes. As he looked at them, he felt a wave of fond memories, and perhaps not so fond memories. He had his first kiss in one of those mazes. It had been another lord's daughter. It was the first time he realized where his heart had lied as a child. He hadn't enjoyed the kiss as much as he should have. He was the son of a lord. He should enjoy a kiss by a lord's daughter. And yet he didn't. he had wished it had been his friend, the prince, instead of this girl in front. It had sent him spiraling because he wasn't supposed to feel that way. He wasn't supposed to want a boy, the crown prince of all people. And while he had later experienced and found he enjoyed both men and woman, no one had ever come close to the feelings that he held for Aurel. Feelings he thought had gone away only to be revived in the presence of Aurel.
He kept his expression schooled and his stride steady. He would keep this hidden from everyone else, just like he had done before, only better. Because his father… Lucian would not let anyone know this time. And if the rebellion ever found out about his conflicted feelings, well, it was just in his best interest all around to smother these feelings. It wouldn't matter much longer anyway.
("a reply within 24 hours!" cut to nearly a month later and i-)
(i'm. just sorry, man. idk what else to say but uhh yeah i've got a short break coming up soon so hopefully I'll be more active?? idk)
"Ready?" and then Aurel led him into the maze. The tall bushes that lined it were beginning to cast shadows across the pathways as dusk crept up on them, as sunset painted things pink and orange and brilliant colors, ridding them of bright overhead sun and replacing it with the more muted tones of dusk, of night. "We may only have time for this maze, as dinner… we shouldn't be late for it." he had already said that, he was pretty sure, but, well… better to be safe than sorry. The king was not a kind man.
The gardens and the astronomy tower had always been more of a haven for him than his own bedroom had. Well, and Lucian's bedroom. But… despite the man's words earlier, he did not think that that room could be a sanctuary anymore. When he was 8, maybe, he could show up uninvited and silent. He could crawl into the big bed under the covers with Lucian. But he was not a child anymore. Neither of them were. He was a man, and he was not going to show up at another man's door in the dead of night.
(nah you're fine, don't worry about it. im not tripping)
("not going to show up at another man's door" my ass)
Lucian nodded his head before following him into the maze. What he wouldn't give to get lost in a sea of maze hedges? He could leave all responsibilities behind him and just be. And if he could convince Aurel to follow him, they could just exist together. No responsibilities, no titles, just two people living their lives. A nice fantasy that would only come true in his dreams. "Then we'll get through this one fast so we have plenty of time to make it to dinner." He wouldn't dare make them late. He wouldn't put the prince in that position nor would he risk himself getting into trouble.
He took a few turns, only hitting a dead end once. he must be on the right path. He had always been good at finding the way. He could be dropped in the middle of the woods and manage to find his way home. He could always find his way back home. He watched Aurel through his peripheral, noting the difference between this man and the boy that left him all those years ago. They could have been two different people if he didn't look like a more mature version of his preteen self.
(screams)
(dfkgbj true tho)
Aurel let Lucian lead the way through the maze, letting the other man refamiliarize himself with the area, his own mind still half lost in thought. Despite that, he was still very aware of his surroundings, years of military training and experience keeping him alert to the area around him, and that was obvious in the way that he carried himself. Back straight and head up, eyes moving around the maze. As they rounded a corner, a bird startled from the bushes and flew off into the air, and that initial burst of movement made Aurel shift, gaze tracking the bird for just a moment before he dismissed it again.
"Your family has been well?" he finally asked. Lucian's father had not been like his own, necessarily, but the relationship there was, as always, complicated. Aurel had not paid close attention to rumors, so he was rather out of the loop with all the things that had been going on with others of the nobility. He had of course received wedding invites for many, though he had not gone to any of them.
(I live once more)
Lucian let his feet take him through the maze, trusting them to guide him. Unfortunately, he shouldn't have listened them this closely, seeing as they brought him to more than one dead end. But leave it to him to take it and keep a smile on his face. He had a prince by his side who lived in this palace. And if all else failed, they could always call for the guards to come get them and bring them out. It was just a maze, how hard could it be? A man's last words right there.
He looked back at Aurel as he spoke, almost surprised to hear his voice. He nodded slowly. "They're well. Better now, probably, now that my father isn't there anymore." It was no secret his mother was happier alone in that house with her daughters than when her husband was home. Truthfully, he thought that everyone was happier when his father wasn't around. Lucian certainly was. Unfortunately as his heir, he seemed to always be around his father these days. It made things harder and harder for him to tell his informants. And now it would be almost impossible.
( :D yay!)
Aurel nodded. Fathers, ah, what a complicated subject that was. For the both of them. Aurel's father, the king… ah, how many things had the king done in Aurel's lifetime, which had been… well. All Aurel had to think of was his older brother. Max's death, at the hands of their own father, in a duel that hadn't needed to happen. It was a ridiculous tradition, but it was born of a long line of tradition and it wouldn't be broken. If Aurel had sons of his own, he would duel them too. The duel would happen, and perhaps it would be him, standing with blood on his sword and staring down at a boy born of his own loins. Staring down at a child scarcely sixteen.
"I think many of us are better, when our fathers are not at home." Aurel replied. It felt safer, in the maze, to be bolder in his words about the things that he was saying. To say somethign that was critical of his father, when his father would be furious to hear those words leave his son's mouth. Treasonous, poisonous things.
Lucian cocked his head, studying Aurel. Many of them would be better off with their fathers dead but he didn't dare say that. While he despised his own father, Aurel's was the one he wanted dead. He had seen such cruelty the king ordered, the blood that was on his hands. Lucian wanted to slit his throat open himself and feel the blood pour out from his throat and soak his hands. He wanted bathe in it and plaster his head on a spike for all to see. To proclaim their tyrant was dead and the kingdom was freed from his tyranny.
He would never get the chance to kill the king. Not if his leaders had anything to say about it. They were the ones going to take down the king, not him. He was only there to feed the information. But his lust to free the kingdom outweighed his lust to kill the king, so he would obey. But standing next to Aurel, what would become of him? "Perhaps our fathers will grant us the ability to leave the palace for a time. We could say that we are going on a hunting trip to get out of the palace. A couple days is better than no days."
Aurel held no love for his father in his heart, though even here, in this maze where no one else could hear, it was doubtful that he would say it out loud. Never. But at Lucian's next words, he shook his head even as he wondered if the two could even get away with that. "A hunting trip." he responded, looking at Lucian for a long moment as he tried to process what that could mean. "If that is truly something that you would desire, we could consider it. But…" he trailed off, still thinking about the logistics of that situation. "It should have to be planned out quite carefully." he glanced up at the sky, trying to estimate how much time they had left before they would need to head inside for dinner.
The thought of leaving the palace was an interesting one. Sure, Aurel left semi-frequently, but never for that long, and always on official business. Always for a specific reason, always so that he could do something for his father, at his father's bidding and on his father's whims. Leaving for a hunting trip, with Lucian? It would be interesting. Perhaps it would be allowed, but he couldn't be sure.
Lucian paused in his steps, turning to look at Aurel. "Perhaps if we told our fathers it is a bonding trip to see if I am compatible to be your right hand when you become king. You will need advisors yes?" He shrugged his shoulders. "The details could come later if this is something you would like to do. It might be good to get out of the palace for a few days. Out of their watchful eyes. We could be just Aurel and Luce for a bit."
Wouldn't that be the dream? To forget his noble duties for a time and just be. He could be with Aurel, not this prince that was in his place. They could reconnect. And perhaps it would give him an opportunity to convince Aurel of his cause. Or be the cause of Lucian's death.
Aurel stared at Lucian for a long moment, still turning the idea over in his mind. "Yes, it might be doable." at the comment about being his right hand, his eyes narrowed just a little bit. "And yes, I shall need advisors, though I was unaware you were planning to be one." everyone around him had plans for his future, it seemed. Including old friends. But, it would have been naive of him to think that Lucian would return with no ulterior plans. He had not thought that, but, ah well.
Even still, though, a hunting trip could be interesting. Lucian was correct, that being away from the palace would remove some of the expectations that they both faced. But not all. It had been a long time since he could express himself freely around another person, and he rather doubted that that would change. Yes, Lucian had once been his best friend, but that was years ago. It felt like a lifetime ago.
Lucian let out a most un lordly like snort. Even going so far as to roll his eyes. "I'm not," he said, turning to begin walking again, "My father is. It's part of the reason we are here." He had never been a fan or politics. Besides, there was no world in which he could be an advisor once the rebels won. The throne would be taken over by the leader of the organization who already had their set of advisors. And Aurel…he would be dead unless Lucian coukd convince the prince of his cause. And then convince his cause that Aurel was on their side.
But in order to convince Aurel of his rebellion, he had to tread very carefully. Because if he just said ut out of the blue, he coukd very well get himself killed and that wouldn't be good for anyone. He would have to plant seeds of doubt about his father, blowing on it to grow until the time was right.
Aurel fell in step behind Lucian, following him through the maze and still keeping an eye on the sky, knowing they did not have much longer before they would need to head back inside and go to dinner, where their respective fathers would be waiting. Aurel had feared his father his whole life. That fear had curdled to rage as he grew older, but there was still that underpinning of fear. His father had ruled his whole life, shaped him into who he was now. His father had failed to shape Max into the son he wanted, and when Max died for that failure, Rainar had moved onto Aurel. And he had succeeded. Aurel had been turned into the general his father had wanted. The monster, that so many feared.
"Your father has many machinations." Aurel observed. "He would be wise to be cautious." the words lacked bite, but they were a warning even still, some grim future curled inside of the prince's words. "My father does not take well to manipulation." the king would far rather be the manipulator. Far rather be the one holding the strings and forcing everyone to dance like puppets in their parts of a play that the king had written. And he had been sucessful thus far. He had taken his second son, turned him into a man that most in the kingdom feared. Rainar's own reputation was fearsome, and with his son as his attack dog, that reputation had only grown.
Lucian did not want a position at court. He didn't even want to be a lord, eveb if he had made sure that he kept his position when the resistance killed the king and took over. He didn't negotiate to keep because he wanted to rule over people. He negotiated for it because he believed it was what was best. It was the best way to keep hos mother and sisters safe, should they not hate him after this. They could keep their titles and their prospects of marriage and be seen as respectable women. And not women married and spawned of a traitor. Thoigh they might see him as a traitor. It was what he was willing to risk for them, for the kingdom.
"Your father would be doing me a favor then." So many words spoken in so few. As much as he hated the king, if he killed his father, well easier for Lucian. Inmy except his family might be cast out if he couldn't convince the king of his supposed "loyalty." No matter. His father and the king would be dead sooner or later. Hopefully sooner than later. "They'll be wondering where we are if we don't show our faces soon."
"Tread carefully." was the warning that left Aurel's mouth again when he heard Luce's words. "For your own sake." and then he exhaled, shaking his head for just a moment. "yes. They will be wondering. I shall lead the way back to the palace, then." he stopped, glancing up at the sky again for a moment, then turning to lead Luce back out of the maze. He was careful to keep his strides short enough for Luce to keep up, not wanting to leave the other man behind in all the winding routes of the maze.
Once they were out, Aurel exhaled, rolling his shoulders back in a subconscious straightening of his posture. He wasn't quite aware of the fact that he did it, but it was a physical result of the way his mind was already preparing to be in the same room as his father. To bend with his father's whims, do as the man wanted from him.
Lucian merely lifted the corner of his lips in a half smile. Treading carefully was all he did. So much was weighing on his chest he was dying to let it out. If only he could. If only he had a friend to confide in. If only Aurel wasn't a prince and part of the very monarch he was trying to bring down. How complicated things have gotten. He should have known his heart would get in the way. It always had before. He would find a way to make it work or die loving the ones he cared most about. And the prince was at the top of the list.
Even as they left the maze, he remained at ease. Perhaps his shoulders pushed back and his head lifted, but he looked nothing of a threat. He would not be a threat. He looked at Aurel through the corner of his eye before focusing straight of ahead of him and mentally preparing himself for the road ahead.
Aurel just led the way, back through the gardens, back through the halls of the palace. "Do you want to stop by your bedroom before dinner, or would you prefer to head straight to dinner?" he turned to the other man, raising an eyebrow faintly as he questioned him. "I can take you back to your rooms if you would like, or if you would prefer to make your own way, then I shall elave you be, and I will see you at dinner."
He still had a hand resting lightly on his sword hilt, thumb rubbing over the pommel in idle thought. Gods, having lucian around again was a strange experience. He didn't know how he felt about it yet, and he wasn't sure that he would ever truly understand it. Not for a while, anyways.
Lucian looked at him for a moment, mulling over his choices. He didn't really feel like being alone even if it would be helpful to him to sort through his feelings. A part of him didn't want to let Aurel go now that he had gotten him back. "We can head straight to dinner." The sound of his stomach rumbling only further confirmed his words. Dinner sounded amazing.
He gestured with his hand for Aurel to lead the way, knowing damn well he could find his way back inside if he so pleased. The heart was a complicated matter. It made thins so much harder and yet he wouldn't give it up for the world.
And so Aurel led the way to the dining room, opening the doors. The servants were still working on setting the table, and the king was not yet anywhere to be seen in the place. "Here we are." Aurel said to Lucian. "Our fathers will likely be here soon, so I would not worry about that."
THe dining room was large, and grand, with a large table. This was not the banquet hall, so the table was not obscenely sized, but it was still obviously designed to show off the grandeur and power of the monarchy. It was almost a family dining hall, at the same time, straddling that weird line between a personal space and a space meant to show off, and it managed to do that well. WIth the kingdom's emblems aplenty, ornamental weapons on the walls, and ornate paintings depicting former rulers hanging up above.
So little had changed since he was last here. It was almost shocking how familiar everything was. How at home he felt, despite this never being home for him. This palace held nothing but painful memories and the ripping of his heart. To see and face such cruelty, this would never be home to him. But Aurel? The memories of the two boys running through the halls, giggling as the maids chastised them for doing such a thing. Now that, that was home. Aurel had always been home to him. And he could be home again, perhaps. Only time would tell. And time was what he did not have.
His fingers grazed the backs of chairs as he approached the familiar seat. The one he had sat in so many times as a child. The decorations were as obscene to him now as they had been as a child. Not that he would ever mention that again. He had said it once in a tutoring lesson and the crack of the ruler against his hand would never be forgotten. "It hasn't changed much."
Aurel shook his head a little. "It has not." he agreed, gaze moving around the room. Many things in the palace never changed. This room was one of those. It had been like this for his whole life, and he didn't anticipate it changing much in the rest of his life either. He just didn't see himself remodeling it. It wasn't something he really… cared about, much. He didn't like it, but he didn't care enough to try and change it. Ah well.
It was not much longer before Ragnar arrived, along with the queen. Aurel's mother was a quiet woman, though whether she was quiet because of her personality, or because of her husband, was anyone's guess. She did recognize Luce, but said nothing as she came over to her seat, sitting down with a soft rustle of skirt. She had been beautiful, when she was younger, and she still carried some of that with her. She had long brown hair shot through with a few silver strands, and soft curves. It was the look in her eyes, the same color as her son's, that was almost haunting. Despite the neutral position of her expression, there was something in her gaze and something in the curves of her lips, that seemed very sad. Very subdued. And, well… after decades of marriage to Ragnar, who would not be?
Ragnar, for his part, just looked over at the two younger men. "Good of you to join us for dinner." he said, settling into his seat at the head of the table. "Lord Callistar should be here soon."
