The royal quarters were in a different wing of the palace, and Aurel had no intention of taking Luce there. His room, like Luce's, had both changed and remained the same. Gods, hadn't so much of their respective lives been like that? Full of change, but yet remaining the same. "I see." he replied softly. "Do you remember how to get to the main hall from here?" the main hall was where most areas of the palace branched off from, and if you could navigate there, it was far easier to remember and find your way around the palace. That was a good place to start. So he started to head that way, letting Lucian follow.
This would be a far better way to fill his afternoon than anything else he might have thought to do. This would keep him occupied, without putting him around his father, which was the last thing he wanted. Th less he had to be around his father, the better.
Lucian put his hands in his pockets, giving the image of relaxed when he was anything but. How could he relax in a place like this? How coukd anyone? The answer was simple. No one could. "It's been a while but I could probably find my way." He would have to rely on his feet to carry him before he could find the way with his head. He watched Aurel out of his peripheral vision. The prince, the soldier, was stiff as a rod. It helped him feel better that he wasn't the only one tense at the circumstances.
"How long have you been gone from the palace?" He had heard enough about Aurel's conquests to know he didn't reside at the palace all that often. Lucian wasn't sure he wanted to know how ling he jad been gone. The longer he was absent, the more havoc he was raining on the people.
"A while." he replied slowly. "I left at 13, and I didn't come back until my duel. At 16. After that, I've been back and forth for visits. This is the longest stay I've had at the palace for a long time now, and I've been here for…nearly nine months." he had reached the age that his father wanted him around the palace more. Where the man could keep an eye on him. He didn't want Aurel getting too powerful, separate from him, so, he had brought Aurel back to the palace to keep him under control.
That, and the king was starting to hint that he wanted Aurel to find a wife. Not to fall in love. No, he wanted Aurel to have a wife. And he wanted that wife to be young, and lovely, and frightened into silence, just like his own had been. Just like Aurel's mother had been. That, and a wife that Aurel cared about even a little bit would be a wonderful bargaining chip for the king to have. A leash, ready made.
Lucian nodded his head as Aurel spoke. Despite his hatred of his father, there was one good thing to being back home, his mother. Most of his sibling had grown shaped by their father. They shared his beliefs in the way of things. But his mother was precious. She was sweet and kind and did not deserve to have the husband she did. She deserved to marry someone who loved her. But she had been saddled with his father in a power play. He was worried for her now that he was away.
"Are you happy to be back home?" Lucian knew the answer before it was ever even answered. Of course he wasn't. Who would be happy to be by the king's side? The king was cruel and a beast. But of course, Aurel wasn't going to give the truth. He would have to hide it in a lie. But Lucian would know. He always knew those things about him. He was always good at reading the prince.
At the question, Aurel frowned, just a little bit, and considered the question. "Of course I am." he lied. "I would rather be here than anywhere else." gods, he hated this palace. Even his bedroom didn't really feel like the safe sanctuary it should have been. His father's presence permeated these halls, left a coil of tension seated deep inside of him no matter where he was or where he went, or what he did. He hated it here, but where else could he go? What else could he do? Nothing, really. He had no choice but to be here, to follow his father's wishes.
"And how do you feel about being back in the palace?" he didn't know what Lucian would say. Would the man be happy to be back here, or not? He didn't htink so…but maybe he would be wrong. Who knew?
Lucian heard the truth within the lie. He simply nodded his head and gave him an understanding look. "My door has always been open to you and it always will be. If you ever need a moment of..silence, you know where to find it." Sanctuary. Solitude. Peace. That was what his room had always been. It was an escape from palace life. And maybe he was making a mistake offering an olive branch but it was one he was willing to make.
"It will be an adjustment for sure." And dangerous. It was so dangerous. Even more so for who Lucian was and what he represented. If he so much as hinted who he was, death would be coming for him. "I have mixed feelings at the moment. I miss my family and wish to be with them. But I am happy to be reunited with other family." Aurel. He had always been family to Lucian, whether his feeling of romance were reciprocated or not. Aurel woukd always have Lucian there when he needed him. All he need do was ask.
"I appreciate the offer, Lucian." Aurel responded, nodding a little bit as they headed back to the main hall. "I understand about missing your family. I…missed mine when I was gone." and Lucian fell under that definition. Gods, he had missed Lucian more than he had missed some of his blood family. Certainly more than he had missed his father. If he had never had to see his father again, he would have been perfectly happy with that. "Being reunited is…certainly a good feeling." it was. It really was. Even if their conversation felt a little stilted and awkward at times, it felt good to be reunited with Lucian.
Once they were back to the main hall, he exhaled. "Where did you want a tour of, exactly? I know you said you remembered the way to the kitchen, but I am not sure where you truly want me to lead you to. There are…so many rooms within this palace, so many halls." he wasn't sure even he had been through all of them, but he probably had.
Lucian highly doubted that. Or at least doubted he missed his father. His father was a monster and an abomination. Even Aurel had to know that on some level. Lucian missed his sisters, his mother. To a point at least. There were some complications but there were complications with everything wasn't there. Including this relationship he had with Aurel. And it was complicated in ways that Aurel was ignorant to. "Yes, it is," he mirrored his words. He glanced down at his shoes as they shuffled through the halls.
"Just all the major parts of the palace. The ones I'll need to get to, such as the library or astronomy tower. The rest I'll find on my own. Getting lost can be part of the adventure." And getting lost night allow hik to get to certain places he wouldn't otherwise be able to go. He could always feign being lost. And it wouldn't necessarily be pretending.
Aurel nodded slightly, pausing once they had reached the main hall. This was close to the main, grand entrance to the palace, and was the easiest place to find again if you got lost within the sprawling halls. "I see." he replied, turning back to Lucian for a moment. "The library first. It is the closest." there was always multiple ways to get anywhere in the palace, but Aurel would take Lucian along the easiest, most straightforward routes, rather than leading him through some of the more winding, secluded ones. He set off again, taking Lucian down a hallway, back through the halls of the palace. These were larger than the residential halls, more grand.
"If you do get lost, I am sure you know what to do. Simply flag down a servant and they should be able to give you guidance." most of the servants knew their way around the palace, and would be able to help, should Lucian require it. Aurel had never had to ask for it, he had grown up here and knew most of htese halls like the back of his hand. Despite his long absence, he still knew it by heart. This palace was the only home he had ever known, even if some days these halls felt more like a prison than a place of safety like a home was supposed to be.
Lucian followed Aurel to the main hall. This he remembered. With the refresher, he wouldn't have a problem finding the main hall. At least not from important points in the palace like his bedroom or the dining hall or throne room. The rest reminded to be seen. The more he looked, the more familiar and yet so unfamiliar feeling washed over him. There was so much he remembered as they passed through the halls. And yet, so much had changed. There was a darker aura around the palace. Some decorations and fixtures had changed. It was darker, sadder than he remembered. He put one step in front of another, looking down at his feet as he walked.
What Aurel didn't know was that was the point. He wanted to get lost. He wanted to be left to his own devices so he could wander around and snoop for anything important. He wouldn't have to feign innocence because he had really gotten lost. If anything, he would need to use the staff to his advantage. They knew the palace inside and out. They knew the workings and people. He needed to make a connection with one of them. He knew the rebellion had a least one informant in the palace. Likely a maid. he only needed to find who it was. They might be able to work together.
(sorry for the wait kfjhb)
Aurel led the way through the halls again, this time headed for the library. The throne room, the library, the astronomy tower, and the dining hall were typically used as landmarks, so to speak, by the people in the palace. If you wanted to help someone find a specific room, you would tell them where it was in relation to one of those locations. It was simply the easiest way to guide people through the palace, seeing as the rooms themselves were not numbered, nor named in any way. Some had unofficial names, sure, but most did not.
The walk to the library was not overly long, and the two soon found themselves before the double doors that led in. Aurel paused for a moment, then pushed the doors open. The library itself was large, with two stories and winding stacks of books. "Here we are." he said, glancing over at Lucian for a long moment, then looking back to the library. A few people wandered in and out of view, some with books in their arms, some empty-handed.
Lucian had his hands clasped behind his back as they walked side by side. He was quiet for the remainder of this walk, lost in his head. Occasionally, he woukd see a brief imagine kf his old life. Two boys running through the halls or sparring with wooden swords they were not supposed to have inside. It was enough to lift the corner of his lips into a whisper of a smile. He missed the days when life was easy as a young boy. When he didn't understand the world and only cared about when his lesson was over so he could go out to play. But now that he was older and he understood the horrors of life, he couldn't be silent any longer.
It was the only reason he was here. The only reason he had tricked his father into brining him to court, so that he could further the cause of the rebellion. For a moment, he thought about the betrayal that Aurel would feel when he discovered what Kucian had dons. Lucian would be long gone by then of course. And then he had to remind himself that Aurel had done unspeakable things. He, along with his father, deserved what was coming for them.
He didn't even notice that they had reached the library until he had almost run into Aurel. He stopped short, blinking and lifting his head to look around them. The library. He remembered how he and Aurel used to take their lessons over by the window. He wondered if the prince at his side remembered too.
Aurel did remember when they had had lessons in that library, when they had spent those hours paging through books and working on their homework together. They had had the same private tutor, had had all the same work to do. And they had helped each other through most of their classes. They had each had different strengths, and they had both used their strengths to help each other. Even outside of schoolwork, that had been something that they had done too. They had helped each other. And now…gods, would anything ever be like that again? He wasn't sure.
Maybe it didn't matter. He and Lucian would probably never have that kind of connection again. That connection had been severed, ten years ago, when Aurel was sent away. They would never be those kids again, would never be able to just live like that again. Maybe they could never truly reconnect the way they had once been. It would be okay. But gods, sometimes Aurel missed that connection. He had never had a friendship, a true one like that, since they had stopped being friends. Every other "friendship" he had had in his life, had all been fake, in some way.
(…I'm so sorry I have not replied.)
Lucian's heart hurt. The longer he looked at the library, one of few things that hadn't changed. He saw the table and chairs where they used to work. The sofa where they would hide and read books together. Not educational books. He saw the scorch mark on the floor where he had once lit a small fire to get out of their tutoring. Or at least his attempt at a small fire. He had been lucky the librarian knew how to smother it out.
Nothing would ever be the same again. Not after that day that Aurel had been sent away where gods know what horrors laid for him. Lucian couldn't imagine. His face was grim as he looked back at the prince. He shouldn't have done it but it was like it had a mind of its own. He raised his hand and gently placed it on the prince's arm.
(all good, no worries!)
Aurel's gaze shot to Lucian at that touch, muscles tensing. He wasn't used to being touched, not gentle ones void of any expectations, and he didn't know what this meant. "What?" he asked, gaze moving from where Lucian's hand rested on his arm, to Lucian's face. That touch had…thrown him off-kilter, just a little. Off-balance, in a way that he wasn't sure how to handle. It had been unexpected for numerous reasons, and now he was just trying to figure out why Lucian had done it in the first place.
This library held so many memories for him, most of them good ones. Was it the same for Lucian? Was that why the other man had reached out to touch him? In a soft way of remembrance for what they had once been, here in this room? Or was there something else at play, now? Was Lucian putting his hand on Aurel's arm for a different reason?
Lucian felt the prince tense under his touch but he did not let go. He should have. If he had an once of self preservation he would have. But he held on. His grip was neither tight nor lose. He was just…there, present. And he made no indication of letting go. He stared at him for a moment much too long, wondering where it had all gone wrong. Then he finally sighed softly and released Aurel. He took a step back, shaking his head. "Nothing."
He spun on his heels and strode out of the library as if nothing had just happened. Because nothing had. It couldn't have. Even as his heart started beating faster in his chest. It seemed those feelings he had harbored for the prince all thos eyears ago had never truly faded away. No matter what lovers he took and measures he made, his heart still belonged to the prince. Even if he had turned into a monster.
Aurel stared back at Lucian, lips parting faintly. And then Lucian was leaving the room, leaving Aurel standing in the library by himself. He took a deep breath, then followed Lucian out after just a moment. He swallowed faintly, looking over at the other man. "Well. Shall we head to the astronomy tower now?" he questioned, letting the moment that had just happened be forgotten.
Honestly, he didn't know what else to do but move on. Asking any other questions about it would just lead to more awkwardness, more stilted conversations where they both danced around the things they really wanted to say. So instead, he just planned to take Lucian to the astronomy tower. The astronomy tower was, to be honest, Aurel's safe place. He went there at night sometimes when he couldn't sleep, and just stared at the stars. It helped to calm him down. Even when he had been in the military, he could look outside of his tent and see the stars up above.
Lucian couldn't bare to look at him for a moment. Not as the prince caught up with stride and fell in step next to him. Emotions were difficult and he had become and expert at hiding his. He had to be, with what he did for a living. The rebels depended on his silence and indifference everyday. If he showed a sliver of emotion, he risked them all getting caught. But Aurel seemed to snap whatever hold he had on his own.
He nodded his head once as he tried to gather his strength to even look at the prince. He didn't know why he had touched him. He never should have done that. But he felt compelled to. He wouldn't have been able to stop it even if he wanted to. Even now, it was hard to keep his hands by his sides. He wanted to reach over and grab his head and tell him with would be alright. The romantic in him believed that Aurel would whisk him away somewhere they could be together. But his head knew better than that. And it knew that would never, ever happen.
Aurel was still processing that touch. He did not often receive touch that was gentle. Most physical contact that he had with others was while dueling or training, which was…violent, and not a gentle or even neutral touch. So it was strange, for Lucian to have…done that. And then dismissed it like that. At the nod, he cleared his throat and led the way, quiet as he made his way through the halls of the palace. The astronomy tower was at one end of the palace, a little removed from the rest of the area. The route to get there actually led outside, through a small patch of garden, and then into the base of the tower. There was a subterranean way to get there, a tunnel, but Aurel preferred the outdoor way to get there.
There was a small room at the base of the tower, and Aurel paused for just a moment, then started to head up the stairs. It was a winding staircase that went up and around and around, all the way to the top. The top was lovely, almost all glass. There was also a wrap around balcony at the top, just in case one wanted to step outside and see it from the outside of the room instead.
Lucian liked soft touches. In the dark when he found a moment of peace, a moment of pleasure, sift touches and caresses was what he turned to. He loved to touch, to be touched. He thrived off of it. And it saddened him to see how much Aurel was affected by his touch. It had been simple. Just a gentle hand on his shoulder, his arm. He had done nothing more. He'd only wanted to show him that Lucian was there for him. And Aurel seemed to be frozen by it. He vowed to himself to show the prince the soft side of life. That there could be an equal balance.
He followed Aurel through the palace and outside as they made their way to the astronomy tower. He noted where the guards posted and where the staff went to and from. Important information for later. He would need to memorize it soon. He followed behind Aurel as they walked up the steps of the spiral staircase. He was a little out of breath as they reached the top. He was in no means out of shape but that many stairs would best anyone. Anyone other than the prince it would seem. He took a minute to catch his breath before admiring the the room they were in. It had been too long since he had stepped foot in here.
(I'm so sorry for the wait)
Aurel glanced over at Lucian again, running a hand through his hair and shrugging a shoulder minutely, before leading the way out to the balcony. This portion was his favorite part, especially on cool, clear nights. Those nights where it wasn't too hot or too cold to enjoy it properly, when the sky was clear and the stars were easily seen…oh, those were his favorite nights to come out here. Because out here, alone under the stars, he could more easily shake off everything and just breathe. Just exist, and breathe, and let his worries drift away, if only for a while. Eveyr now and again, he had fallen asleep out there, and awoken in the middle of the night or even at sunrise, body stiff from strange positioning.
Now, the sun was starting to dip down to the horizon, painting the sky in the beautiful colors of sunset. Pinks and oranges and all those lovely pastels. The astronomy tower was just a good place to view the sky in general, and it was a beautiful place to hang out. The view from it was amazing too, looking out at the palace grounds and then, beyond, at the city. From a distance, none of the cruelties and horrors were tangible, and it was just a city with the sun setting on it.
Lucian didn't notice the look Aurel gave him. Not when he was transfixed on the room and all the memories it brought back to him. He ran his fingers over a desk he remmeber he had hid under one of his first nights at the palace. He had been terrified and found sanctuary here. He had a pillow, a blanket, and hid under the desk. He had missed his mother and sisters and didn't want to be apart from them.
He looked up as he saw the prince crossing the room to the balcony. With the doors open, he felt the cool breeze of the evening air. The sun was beginning to set giving brilliant hues on the horizon. The sky was filled with shades of pink and orange. It was calm and peaceful. Likely the only time he would ever find it here. He slipped through the open doors and quietly trudged up next to Aurel, standing entirely too close, though they didn't touch. He worried about his old friend. He worried about his mental wellbeing. He didn't think Aurel was okay and he wished more than anything to make it better.
Aurel could feel how close Lucian was standing, knew that the other man was standing just a little closer than most normal people would, but… well, he didn't really mind. Not much, anyway. If Lucian were to attack him, for some reason, Aurel was more than capable of defending himself. He highly doubted that Lucian would attack him– it would be very unwise, after all –but Aurel was almost always prepared for some sort of attack, or some assassination attempt. People had tried before.
He had tensed slightly, at how close Lucian was, but that was more of an unconscious thing than anything else, more reflective of his own defensiveness than of any real fear of Lucian. His hand was resting lightly on the hilt of his sword in a stance that he often did. It was comfortable, not meant to be threatening, though with Aurel's height and looks, any touch to his sword often seemed to come across as threatening to many. He had a reputation, after alll, that preceded him.
Lucian wasn't ignorant of the hand that rested on the pommel of the sword. He knew very well that even though the prince beside him appeared almost relaxed, he was anything but. He was tense, the muscles straining under his shirt. And as if the sword wasn't a dead giveaway. That was alright. Aurel was allowed to be suspicious. He couldn't imagine the sort of horrors that he had gone through once the king had sent him away. This wasn't his friend by his side. Not anymore. This was his enemy. For now, at least.
"It's a beautiful blade," he said, his attention still at the sight before them. He didn't look at Aurel, not as he spoke. "Does it have a name?" A sword like that must have a name. His own was named, though it had accomplished no such feats as Aurel's had likely done.
Aurel's gaze flickered over to Lucian when he spoke, considering the words for a long moment. It wasn't a question he was often asked. "Reaver. Its name is Reaver." he had named it years ago, and had wanted something simple and to the point. Reaver accomplished that. It got the point across, which was his intention all along anyways. It might not be a name that would instantly strike fear into people's hearts, but at least his sword had a name. That was it.
"Do you have a weapon?" Lucian didn't have a sword at his side, but that didn't mean that he didn't own a weapon, nor that it didn't have a name. "If you do, does it have a name as well?" Aurel ran a hand through his hair, though his other hand was still resting against the sword hilt, and he was still, well, tense. That tense-ness to him almost never seemed to go away.
Lucian looked at the prince at his side at last. He offered his old friend a gentle smile, something Aurel probably hadn't recieved in good many long years. "A fitting name, I think." It was better than what he had been expecting, based on the stories he had heard. "May I see it?" He gestured to the sword. It was alright if Aurel declined, but if he indulged, Lucian would like nothing more than to inspect the blade worthy of the prince.
"I do," he said. "I have a longsword. It's with the rest of my belongings. I'll introduce you to her. Perhaps you might entertain me in the training yard with a spar or two." He turned his body half a step so he was facing Aurel. "Her name is Aetherius. Not exactly a fear mongering name but you'll understand when you see her."
Aurel hesitated for a moment, considering the question, then reached to unclip the sword from around his waist. He carefully held it out to Lucian, still sheathed. "Just don't drop him." he replied, mouth quirking slightly. He listened, though, as Lucian talked about his own sword, and about sparring. "Perhaps we might spar, later. We will see if you can keep up with me." most could not. Aurel was known for his swordsmanship, for his control over his blade. Even before he had been sent into the army, he had been very good with a sword for his age.
"And I look forward to seeing her and understanding her name." Aetherius was indeed a slightly odd name for a sword, but then again, everyone named their sword a little differently. Aurel had gone for simple but effective, with Reaver. That had been his goal, and he had succeeded in that much with it.
Lucian tried not to let the surprise show but he knew it slipped onto his face. His eyebrows raised and he took half a step back. He hadn't expected Aurel to actually agree to this. He had been all but ready to accept the decline and ask him more questions. But the fact that he unclipped his belt, albeit hesitantly, and handed it to him said something about the connection between them. He let his own lips fall into a natural smile as he took the sheath from him. And there was something else on his face. Something softer, though what, Lucian couldn't place the feeling.
"I'd enjoy that, even if you are likely to win. It's been a minute since I've had a good sparring session." Lucian was by no means a renowned warrior but he could hold his own. He had been trained, even if he preferred to spend his time in books. He withdrew Reaver from his sheath, setting the leather aside so that he may inspect the blade fully. "And I look forward to introducing her to you." He felt the balance of the blade, tested the handle and the metal. It was heavier than Lucian preferred for a blade and slightly too long, but it fit Aurel. He sheathed the blade and extended it back to the prince. "It's an excellent sword. When did you get it?"
Reaver was the right length and weight for Aurel, but probably a little longer and heavier than Lucian needed in a weapon. "I got Reaver when I was 18." he had owned the sword for four years now, and it had served him well. It was a good, solid weapon, that he intended to use until it was no longer usable. He had other weapons, other swords, but Reaver was the one he preferred. It was the one he was most used to, and the one that was the best fitted for him. The others were more… stock produced, whereas Reaver had been specifically made and designed with his height and strength in mind. It was better than his other weapons, some of which felt too light or not long enough.
Reaver was heavy enough to break shields, if he swung hard enough and hit the right points on the shield. He kept it sharp, too, honing the edge to just what he needed from it. You didn't want a sword to be oto sharp, or the edges grew too thin and could snap under pressure. But neither should it be too blunt, either, as it would then not slice the right way.
Lucian nodded his head. It was a strong blade, but it would never suit him. It was too long and too heavy for him to comfortably swing and handle the blade. He was about four inches shorter than Aurel, give or take, and certainly not as heavily built. The prince was a soldier through and through. Lucian, on the other hand, was built more like an aristocrat. While he was defined due to his training, it was nothing of significance. Nothing like Aurel. And he was nowhere near as skilled. But he was still excited with the idea of sparring with him. He might even be able to learn a thing or two.
"Where did you get it? Was it a gift? Or did you pick it out?" He was content with his own blade but that didn't mean he wouldn't want to reach out to the blacksmith and commission something for someone close to him. Which really weren't many people.
