Damian sobbed, putting half his weight on Rowan. “Ple-“ Damian could hardly get the words out. He pressed his face into Rowan’s shoulder a bit harder, only because he felt his tears freezing up as they left his eyes. “Please don’t leave me too,” Damian whispered, just barely loud enough to be heard.
Rowan gathered Damian into his arms, stroking the back of the other male's head. "Never." he whispered. "I won't leave unless or until you want me to." he was as gentle as he could be and he wasn't lying. Not now. He didn't want to lie to Damian. He would never leave.
Damian stayed there, crying, for who knows how long. It just hurt so much. He always relied on Bailey, he could always come home to that dog and smile no matter how many times he almost died that day. And now it was all gone, just like that. “R-Rowan…” Damian clung to his shirt, “what am I- I supposed to do now?”
Rowan shook his head a little bit. "I don't know." he replied softly, arms wrapped around Damian and holding him as close as possible. "We…we can bury him on the land at my place, if you like. Or have him cremated? That's your choice. And…when you're ready, you can get a new dog. And I know it won't replace Bailey, it couldn't possibly, but you could still have a dog, if you wished to."
Damian sniffled a little, but nodded. “I- I’d like to bury him. I’d like that a lot,” He whispered, taking a deep shuddering breath. It would get better, Damian knew. But right now it just sucked. “I’m sorry for- for wanting to make you use your powers,” Damian whispered, his head slowly getting clearer with each deep inhale of Rowan’s scent that he took.
Rowan nodded slightly. "Alright. And as for that…it's fine, Damian. You're hurting. I understand that." he kissed Damian's cheek softly. "We can bury him whenever you like." he held his boyfriend close, rocking him a little bit and trying to comfort him as best as he knew how.
Damian sunk into the warm feeling that that kiss gave him. “Can we snuggle and eat ice cream on the couch?” Damian asked softly as he looked up at Rowan, sniffling a little with eyes all puffy and red. He wanted to forget all this and fall into a fantasy world were both Rowan and him were normal and happy.
Rowan nodded. "Mhm. We can." he replied softly. He reached down, picking Damian up, and carried him into the living room. He set Damian down on the couch. "I'll get the ice cream and some spoons." he kissed Damian's forehead, then went to the other male's kitchen, finding the ice cream and spoons and bringing it back.
Damian curled up, shivering because of his powers still a little hard to control and making everything feel cold. He quickly snatched the ice cream and spoon when offered, not hesitating to eat the delicious comfort food.
Rowan sat down with Damian, putting an arm around the other male's shoulders and eating some of the ice cream as well. "I'm so sorry." he said quietly, kissing Damian's forehead softly.
Damian leaned into him, digging his spoon into the ice cream to try to distract himself. “I guess it was his time to go… I just wasn’t ready yet,” Damian whispered softly, leaning into Rowan a bit more because the ice cream certainly wasn’t helping how cold he was. He closed his eyes, sniffling a little before adding, “Thank you for coming.”
Rowan sighed softly. "I know how that is, Damian." he murmured back. "I know. And of course I came. Why wouldn't I have come?" he asked, not really expecting an answer. He ate a little bit more ice cream, letting out a slow, soft breath.
Damian buried his face into Rowan’s shoulder a little more. “I saw an alert. I knew you were busy…” Gosh, how many people had died just because Damian didn’t get out there? How could I have been so stupid… what was I thinking, that Rowan would just stop because I called him? Yes, Damian had been hoping that Rowan would’ve stopped, that in some fantasy world Rowan wouldn’t do the things he did as the Reaper.
Rowan closed his eyes. Damn it. "…yeah. I'm…I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." he said softly, taking a deep breath. He wished he could tell Damian the truth. That he wasn't in control, that the Reaper wasn't the same person as him, that they shared a body but not a mind and if Rowan could get rid of the Reaper he would, even if it meant he died.
You should’ve come sooner. You should’ve stopped killing people. There’s already too much death… “You still came,” Damian mumbled back softly, shaking his thoughts away with another scoop of ice cream. “And you’re here now. That’s what matters to me,” Damian added, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes too.
Rowan shrugged slightly. "Still. I…I'm sorry that I didn't show up when you first called." he couldn't tell Damian the truth. He knew what would happen if he did. The Reaper would kill him. Kill him and make sure Rowan knew, make sure every time he slept he saw the other man's body, twisted and broken and dead and– He took a deep breath, trying to push away those thoughts.
For a moment, Damian took in that apology and it felt like the world was fixed. He saw the truth in Rowan’s eyes and believed him- until reality slapped him in the face again. He knew he needed to remember that Rowan just killed people. Tens, maybe even hundreds of people. This man wasn’t sorry, no matter how much Damian wanted to believe that he was. But he brushed that aside for now, instead just tucking himself in Rowan’s side and closing his eyes as he ate a couple more scoops of ice cream.
Rowan let out a breath, and kept Damian close. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to be done with me, you know. With this. Us." His voice was quiet. "I'm a shit boyfriend, I know that." He knew from Damian's perspective all Damian would see is that Rowan hadn't thought he was important enough to stop. That Rowan didn't care and maybe it would be better this way, if he let Damian go before he got too close.
(I keep reading writing prompts about a villain and a hero and the villain captures the hero and tortures them by like making them love the villain/straight up torture/treating them like a ‘pet’, and I can’t stop imagining that as Rowan and Damian, like after Rowan found out about Damian being the Frost, the Reaper captures Damian would be torturing him to get at Rowan)
Damian paused, taking in those words. “I…” I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to be done with me. The words replayed in his head. “No!” He immediately said, shoving the ice cream aside before grabbing onto Rowan in a tight hug. “I don’t…” Damian didn’t want to be alone. Rowan was all he had left, and even if he did the horrendous things he did… Damian didn’t have anyone left. “You aren’t a shit boyfriend. A shit boyfriend would-” Hurt me. Ignore me. Never be there for me. Two out of three, Rowan did. But Damian forced that thought away as he finished his sentence, “A shit boyfriend wouldn’t love me. A shit boyfriend wouldn’t be here right now, sitting on the couch holding me while I eat ice cream and look like a mess.” Damian held onto Rowan a little tighter, shifting a little so he could sit on his lap and tuck his face in Rowan’s neck. “I don’t ever want to leave you.”
(oooh yess! Although at that point Rowan would have to be so far gone that he wasn't even in control at all. But it works!)
Rowan swallowed softly, and held Damian close. "Alright. Sorry. I just…I wanted you to…" He didn't know what he wanted. "Sorry. I just wanted you to know that. That I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to do this anymore. I know that…that I'm not…I'm not what most people would want. That I'm…I do things people can't forgive. Things they…they shouldn't forgive."
(Ooo cool, yay I’m excited)
“You don’t have to apologize,” Damian whispered, hugging onto Rowan a little bit tighter now because he was cold. “Let’s just… forget all that, for tonight. Just the here and now, just us,” Damian whispered, balling up Rowan’s shirt in his fist and taking a deep breath. He wanted to forget about Bailey, to forget about all the deaths that were on his boyfriend’s hands. It was just Damian and Rowan, Rowan and Damian.
Rowan nodded slightly, and held Damian close. "Okay. Okay." He replied softly, swallowing softly. He ate a little bit of ice cream, and kissed Damian's forehead. "Just us. Just for tonight."
Damian smiled a little at that, soaking in that gentle kiss. Damian wouldn’t leave him, especially not now. Not when the whole world felt fragile except for Rowan. “Can we go to your place?” Damian whispered, shivering a little and clinging onto Rowan a bit closer.
Rowan blinked, and nodded. "Alright. Uhm…what do you want to do about…about Bailey?" he asked slowly. "You shouldn't leave him here, the body will…do what bodies do." Rigor mortis, then start to decay as the acids from the stomach began to leak out, the body would stink and get soft and then there would be a disgusting mess.
Damian was silent for a moment. “Can we bury him? Or just… I don’t know,” Damian shook his head and pressed his face in Rowan’s shoulder. Bailey was like family to him, Damian felt like it would be cruel to bury him just anywhere. “I want to put him in a place where he won’t be disturbed,” Damian whispered, biting his lower lip and taking a deep breath. No more crying.