Simon was definitely choosing to ignore that too. Their safe space here was really just an illusion. Astral could really come and go as he pleased, and there was nothing they could do about it. Especially considering how much control Astral really seemed to have over the both of them.
At feeling Mia start to relax more, he lay both of them down on the bed, giving her the option to sleep if she wanted to.
All of it was an illusion. Everything was just for Astral- what he wanted. The god could do whatever he wanted, whenever. It was only because he let them that they were allowed anything at all.
Mia wasn't going to sleep any time soon, not with what had happened. She wasn't going to leave Simon awake and alone.
Simon could understand now, why Mia always dreamed of leaving. It was nice to dream of a life you’d never have instead of being forced to live the one you chose for yourself. If he’d known in the alley that day what this life would really look like, he would’ve ran. But it was too late for that now. He could feel the Claimed symbol itching at the back of his neck. You are nothing. He reminded himself. Having to relearn that he didn’t matter sadly wouldn’t even be too hard. He had done it before, he could do it again. But he couldn’t help but wish he didn’t have to.
Mia would fight Simon on this, for a bit, if she knew what he was thinking. Eventually, though, even she would admit it might be best… to keep him safe. Mia could feel her own symbol, not letting herself look at the one on Simon. It made her sick.
Simon was thankful there weren’t many opportunities for him to actually see the mark. There weren’t many mirrors in here, which was good for a lot of reasons. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see just how much of a mess he looked like.
Mia didn't want to see herself, either. At least her hair covered her mark most of the time. She let her eyes close for a moment, mostly so she didn't have to see the world around them. She could pretend she was somewhere else, they were somewhere else.
Simon was doing the same, building up a whole different life for himself in his mind. It’s something he’d been doing for a long time. And it definitely didn’t center around his dead ex boyfriend who treated him right, why would you ever think that.
Yes, it wasn't like Mia was doing the same thing with the memories of her lover before she was taken. Mia rested her head on Simon's a bit more, eyes closed tight as she imagined a better life.
Simon couldn’t help but hope for the millionth time that he was the one who got hit by that stupid car. He knew Evan wouldn’t want him thinking stuff like that but really it would’ve been better that way.
Mia just wished they'd had never agreed to go with Astral from the orphanage. All three of them… it would have been so much better to stay there, together. She had no idea what happened to Lily, and… her lover was gone. Mia couldn't even remember her name at this point.
That was one of the things Simon was scared of the most, the moment when his memories of Evan would fade and then eventually disappear. Or even worse, if Astral made him forget. He didn’t want to lose any of those memories. They were the only thing that kept him going.
((Also I finally might be figuring out Evan’s character design))
(That is a very good thing to figure out–)
Astral could easily do it, after all. Perhaps one day he'd old them over Simon's head, just one more thing to get him to behave. Mia did her best to not shiver. With how things were going, she was going to be turned back, wasn't she? She wanted to stay human…
((Yeah it was very hard for some reason so I took suggestions from my partner ;w;))
If that ever did happen, Simon would probably just let Astral take them. He wouldn’t let Evan be used against him like that. He couldn’t let Astral have any more advantages over him.
(oop–)
They'd go somewhere special then. The trash, the trash was a good place for them. Astral would make sure Simon knew he was only the god's.
((I mean it helped-))
If Simon knew that’s what would happen to them, he’d definitely fight harder to keep them. He’d be a lot different if he lost those memories forever. Things would be…difficult to say the least.
(That's what matters aha)
Knowing Astral, he'd let Simon know he'd lost memories he had held dearly to keep Astral from using it against him, let him watch as they were destroyed.
But that was a story for a different day.
Mia shivered some, pushing her thoughts away. She just wanted to focus on her lover and her friend.
((Serna’s gonna be so upset if she found out that Simon lost his memories of Evan ;-;))
It would be devastating. But that was for a moment in the far future. For now, he was just praying for Astral to leave them alone forever.
(Serna: Hey, Derlik, we're murdering Ass)
(Derlik: Oh thank god I've been waiting for years)
Astral could hear the prayers, of course. All of Simon's prayers went right to him, like every other soul tied to him. It irked him. He had half a mind to go down there and show Simon why it was a bad idea to do such things.
He didn’t mean anything rude by it necessarily. He just didn’t want to get hurt anymore. And that slowly seemed like it was becoming less and less likely.
Astral, instead of getting up and dealing with Simon, sat where he was, letting his indignation come through the tie between them to wash over Simon. He really was enforcing a literal thought crime, then. Simon wasn't allowed to think about that, let alone pray about it.
Simon felt a burst of panic as Astral’s feeling washed over him. He..he hadn’t know that Astral could hear that. His thoughts began to race no matter how much he tried to quiet them. How much could he hear? How much did he already know? Was it everything? Or just some things? He squeezed Mia just a bit tighter, feeling a bit like a little kid who’d gotten scared by the dark. I…I didn’t know…. he thought to himself fearfully.
Astral was listening to everything now, of course, not just the prayers. He found it… cute, how Simon was reacting.
Old habits die too hard for gods.
You would think someone would be smart enough to understand who prayers go to when in a god's palace, Astral said in turn.
Not even Simon's mind was a place he could keep Astral out of.
Mia opened her eyes when she felt Simon hold her tighter, looking down.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly. Something was off, she could tell.
Simon flinched at Astral’s words. It really had been stupid, no one ever listened before, why did he expect anyone besides Astral to be listening now. I-I’m sorry.. He didn’t respond to Mia, just clinging to her tightly.
Just be careful what you pray for next time. With that, Astral stopped caring, dropping the connection. Simon had been warned, and he would know better the next time.
"Simon..?" Mia was worried. She hugged Simon closer, looking down at him with concern.