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Started by @The-N-U-T-Cracker
tune

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hello from my new laptoooooop
In other news, how do I get the hell away from my mother?

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

wow would you look at that all my ability to feel emotion just disappeared and I honestly wish I were dead

happy halloween I guess

Ella, you need to talk?

I was extremely busy today so I couldn’t respond but I can now

Last night my bedroom door, due to a really faulty doorknob that doesn’t shut properly, opened itself in the middle of the night.
Most people would see that, think “okay, the stupid doorknob’s acting up again”, shut the door, and go back to sleep, but I was really tired and on caffeine so I may-or-may-not have hallucinated a small but horrifying demon creature in the shadows that had opened the door and was creeping up towards me
That description doesn’t do it justice but believe me when I say it was honestly one of the worst things I’d seen in my life
It disappeared pretty quickly under my sister’s bed but that didn’t stop me from sitting in a corner with my phone flashlight, rocking back and forth, whispering these messages to the creature about how I’d already seen it, there’s no use in hiding, and all the reasons I could think of as to why it should kill me instead of any of the others (While also simultaneously laughing and crying, of course)
I’m glad my sisters didn’t wake up because they’d have thought I’d gone insane, but I really was honestly convinced I would die that night…
I don’t remember how I got back to sleep, one moment I was crying in a corner of my bed with my phone flashlight on and the next I was all cozy in multiple warm blankets with my phone charging on a side table.
Considering how warm and cozy I was I’d assumed I had just dreamt the whole thing but my bedroom door was still open and my designated hugging pillow was right in the corner where I had hid behind it during the whole meltdown…

So basically I was still kind of shaken up by it all this morning and that’s why I was so miserable and wanted death

I’m perfectly fine now, no worries, it’s all good

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

Hey, have you talked to your parents about these sorts of things, Ella? I think it's really important that you do bring up your mental health with them honey

I know I need to, but I just can’t find the time
Today is so freaking crowded with odd events and chores and planning that my family was barely able to cram my birthday into the mess, so I definitely can’t cram a long emotional talk with my parents in

Tomorrow my mom has an open house for business purposes
At our house
The one we’re currently living in
She’s been planning it for months and has stressed about it all week, it lasts nearly the whole day, plus my best friend will be there, so there really isn’t a chance that day

Then the day after that we have a baby shower to attend for my cousin and also church cause Sunday

After that I might have time but then the Christmas stress starts and I don’t want to make that worse so I’m not sure…
I should probably just get it over with but I can’t for at least 3 more days

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

Big yikes.
Do you have a stuffed animal you can snuggle other than your hugging pillow?

I usually have my opossum plushie but my little brother doesn’t like opossums (I know, he’s so wrong, how is he even related to me) so often times he’ll walk into my room, grab the precious innocent little plush, and run off with her, slamming her forcefully into every wall possible before hiding her
That’s what happened a few days ago and I’ve been too busy to look for her so I didn’t have her that night

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