forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift
Started by @The-N-U-T-Cracker
tune

people_alt 147 followers

@croccin-champagne

WaOw people are horrible. Saying retarded back then was different in many contexts, since mental retardation was a legitimate umbrella term for diagnostics, much like the word "lame", the physical counterpart. But saying it now is different. Everyone should know that by now. The hate directed towards neurodiverse people and those with disabilities is so apparent throughout history and it's ridiculous people still hold those attitudes.

it was one of those words that like, originally had a perfectly fine meaning and then people used it to direct their hate and bigotry, see; queer–tho that one's even a bit different–and it went oop

@Pickles group

There's a difference between using a word that was originally used as a huge insult and was claimed by the community as a big Fuck You (see: queer, and I think yankee doodle has the same sort of origin but it wasn't a slur or super terrible as far as I know), and using a word that the entire world and community is saying "this is offensive, stop saying this".
And it's just blatant asshole-ish to name a character that (glares at jkr)

@HighPockets group

Yeah, I use "queer" to describe myself a lot since it's easier than explaining asexuality to people and since I'm not sure what my romantic orientation is. But I can't see any situation where I'd refer to myself as "retarded".

@croccin-champagne

yeah no that's why i said it's semi similar but that it's also different. cause queer's one that's being reclaimed, but r*tard is not and i don't think anyone wants to reclaim it which is fine, it's their choice

@SupernaturalSyGuyIsTIred group

I don't like being tagged in any rudeness chats. The rudeness chats always piss me off, and I don't enjoy being angry. I can understand needing a place to vent, buy if you really, truly, have a problem with me, please just dm me. There's no need to air your grievances with someone (and naming that someone) for all to see.

sy, dude, your posts were public. all of the information we had a problem with was public, therefore making it a public matter.

I went through and removed all of them, not because I was told to, but because I wanted to. (Plus, even if I wasn't tagged in the rudness chat, I still would've eventually said something about it. More on that soon.)

would you rather, somebody brought it up in a place where the other people who had issues can see and agree and offer their points, or somebody went through and grabbed every single user who had issues with it and made a pm?

Yes, I would much rather that they pm me. I was raised to take my problems with someone directly to them, not to some chat or whatever (this is not an attack on anyone that uses the rudness chats).

@Pickles group

I went through and removed all of them, not because I was told to, but because I wanted to.

(this is not an attack on anyone that uses the rudness chats).

@croccin-champagne

except they did take it directly to you, by @ ing you. they didnt vaguepost about you, or complain about an 'anonymous' user on four different threads. some people don't like using PMs, and yet you're expecting them to go out of their way to pm you. about, again, something that had already become a matter multiple people had become involved in, therefore making it better taken care of in a public thread

Deleted user

Yeah, in fact, you took it upon yourself to PM me and act like a bigger asshole than I was acting. I was upset that this was happening. You were upset because I was telling you that you needed to go read posts about genuinely offensive stuff?

What?

@Pickles group

You don't get to decide how someone goes about telling you that you're being offensive and breaking laws. Grow up and act like you really are someone who's going to be thirty before some people on this site even become legal adults.

@Relsey

I thought I said to stay out of trouble until I woke up. It's ok though, you don't have to listen to me it was a joke please don't get mad.
Guy's I think Sy understands what he did at this point and has asked that you target him in PM's he will still get the message through a PM. Insulting someones Age and mental capabilities is not the 'Adult' way to handle this as you put it your self. We are all human beings and we are all flawed in different ways, Sy made a mistake, you alerted him to this mistake and he fixed it. The reason he fixed it should not matter, what's done is done. He asks that in the future you alert him to mistakes in a way that does not broadcast them to the entire site. He's asking to be sent to the principles office instead of having his mistake broadcast over the loud speaker.
I understand what he did effects the public because it was public but shaming people isn't the right response either. This could be a mature and collected conversation and instead you all have chosen to resort to basic and carnal insults of intelligence and age, both sides have.
We are all going to make mistakes on here, it's life we are going to do things that hurt people. If someone directly asks you to contact them personally instead of in a chat they are saying that they are willing to communicate about this issue, but it's in a space they are comfortable in.
I'm not saying what Sy said was ok, I'm not saying it was right, I'm saying that if you want him to be respectful of your complainants you should be respectful of the line of communication that is set up. He said he is willing to listen, he just hates certain chats.
Sy, reacting by bashing the chat's that you were mentioned in also isn't ok. It's what the individual felt would reach you, (I am assuming). It only escalates the situation, you might have to ask a million times for them to directly contact you in a Pm. You can say such in a respectful way, I don't think you were being especially rude, but the amount of passive aggression in your response was clear to anyone reading. It makes it sound like you have issue with the complaint rather then in the method it was being given.
The underlying issue here is respect, respect someones guts to call you out, and respect peoples wishes when it comes to being contacted. It's not that difficult to respect each other.

@Pickles group

The reason he fixed it should not matter, what's done is done.

It does though. There's a world of difference between deleting something because you're getting backlash and not apologizing and deleting something because you realized it was wrong.

Deleted user

Yeah, no, sorry. I chose to not make the PM he sent me public just for the sake of his respect in the community. I know he can be more mature than how he acted towards me in PM.

@Relsey

The reason he fixed it should not matter, what's done is done.

It does though. There's a world of difference between deleting something because you're getting backlash and not apologizing and deleting something because you realized it was wrong.

But the effect is the same, the comments are gone. You can not make him realize it's wrong. You can't do that. I understand there is a difference, but this is the internet, the only thing you can do is ask him to delete it.

@HighPockets group

If he doesn't acknowledge why what he did was wrong, the deletion barely matters. If he can't realize what was messed up with what he did, he'll do the same in the future.

@Relsey

Then all we can do is ask again.
That was not the point of the post I made earlier I'm sorry if that's the only thing you got out of it.

@Relsey

(guys i'm sorry i really think we should make an effort to keep this out of the venting chat)

(You're right, I apologize for continuing the conversation)

@HighPockets group

Off-topic but the bar in my closet fell the other day and scared my cat half to death

noooo not the babey bastard

She's fine she's just dramatic

@croccin-champagne

Off-topic but the bar in my closet fell the other day and scared my cat half to death

noooo not the babey bastard

She's fine she's just dramatic

i mean her owner is a theater kid so