At a sleepover a few days ago
Friend: I’m going to the bathroom find out what the cat cult is doing
Me: Ok
Friend: comes back
Friend: Are they planning on murdering anyone? If so, who and can I help?
A little bit of context:
"Ah, s'mores. Or as I like to call it, pretending to like your family as an excuse to gorge on marshmallows and chocolate." -me. just now
"You look like a failed Halloween costume of a snapchat filter"
"Why are you trying to blow out your marshmallow you have asthma!"
"Hey gusy! It's your regular dissapointment!"
"And the Americans- the Americans- they didn't like that."
"Basically, the English, they said to the Colonists, we'll remove that [the Stamp and Molasses Acts] but you can't bitch if we pass any more."
"So you punched someone… because they insulted… a musical?"
"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame."
Driving home from a Subway making a ton of mistakes as I go while laughing hysterical
"At LeAsT i GoT mY cOoKiE"
"God? Oh, you mean Kermit."
"You eating the icing like that is very relaxing and satisfying. You could make an ASMR video! You unscrewing the cap…" Me interrupting by licking more icing noisily from a spoon
What kind of icing is it?
it was vanilla and extremely tasty
Vanilla is the best thing ever and anyone who disagrees can fight me
I agree fullheartedly. I saw she had chocolate in her cabinet and i almost threw it away for her lmao
Chocolate's good too, but vanilla
"So you punched someone… because they insulted… a musical?"
"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame."
I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?
You punched the bursar?
Yes!
"So you punched someone… because they insulted… a musical?"
"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame."I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?
You punched the bursar?
Yes!
Everything about this is perfect.
"So you punched someone… because they insulted… a musical?"
"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame."I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?
You punched the bursar?
Yes!
It was a cell block tango refrence, but I admire your adition.
“So what are you singing on Thursday?”
“I Got the Sun in the Morning from Annie Get your Gun.”
“Good. Cool. You do you, you spunky little theater nerd.”
“Yeah okay good talk.”
Vanilla is the best thing ever and anyone who disagrees can fight me
Chocolate frosting sucks (unless it’s a ganache) but other than that I think chocolate is clearly superior.
Vanilla is the best thing ever and anyone who disagrees can fight me
Chocolate frosting sucks (unless it’s a ganache) but other than that I think chocolate is clearly superior.
TAKE THAT BACK!
ALL FROSTING IS BEST
Vanilla is the best thing ever and anyone who disagrees can fight me
Chocolate frosting sucks (unless it’s a ganache) but other than that I think chocolate is clearly superior.
TAKE THAT BACK!
ALL FROSTING IS BEST
Yuuuuck chocolate is clearly the worst period
Vanilla is the best thing ever and anyone who disagrees can fight me
Chocolate frosting sucks (unless it’s a ganache) but other than that I think chocolate is clearly superior.
TAKE THAT BACK!
ALL FROSTING IS BESTYuuuuck chocolate is clearly the worst period
Emi, I love you dearly, but shut the fuck up and stay away from my children.
Unless it's mint, I love all frosting flavors
Vanilla is the best thing ever and anyone who disagrees can fight me
Chocolate frosting sucks (unless it’s a ganache) but other than that I think chocolate is clearly superior.
TAKE THAT BACK!
ALL FROSTING IS BESTYuuuuck chocolate is clearly the worst period
Emi, I love you dearly, but shut the fuck up and stay away from my children.
Welp sorry to tell you Logan but you're adopted and I'm taking you back.
Vanilla is the best thing ever and anyone who disagrees can fight me
Chocolate frosting sucks (unless it’s a ganache) but other than that I think chocolate is clearly superior.
TAKE THAT BACK!
ALL FROSTING IS BESTYuuuuck chocolate is clearly the worst period
Emi, I love you dearly, but shut the fuck up and stay away from my children.
Welp sorry to tell you Logan but you're adopted and I'm taking you back.
Guess what Emi, I have about thirteen different mothers and I'm moving in with Eris.
Listen, frosting is nasty, and the only two types of cake I can stand are cheesecake and ice cream cake.