forum My problems with the Notebook.ai community

Started July 03, 2020 by @Reblod flag

tune

Since this falls in-line with the thread topic, I'm gonna ask a question.
How can I be a better presence on NB?

Since this falls in-line with the thread topic, I'm gonna ask a question.
How can I be a better presence on NB?

i think you might have to expand upon that question just a bit

Since this falls in-line with the thread topic, I'm gonna ask a question.
How can I be a better presence on NB?

i think you might have to expand upon that question just a bit

I'm confident that I've always been respectful to other users, helpful, and polite. However, there's always room for improvement. I guess what I'm actually asking is if there are any areas that I could possibly do better in/with.

However, there's always room for improvement. I guess what I'm actually asking is if there are any areas that I could possibly do better in/with.

This isn't something that I would direct at you specifically but one thing I've noticed on NB is that sometimes people will get talking with their friends in certain threads and as a result sometimes posts from people outside of that friend group will get ignored or overlooked.
So I guess just be aware when other people are trying to put their thoughts out there, and welcome them into the discussion. I've honestly been trying to work on this a bit too (especially in some of the art threads) because it doesn't really feel that great when none of your posts are really being acknowledged. Plus, it'll (theoretically, at least) promote a more welcoming and inclusive environment.

(I hope that made sense? I made a more detailed post about it on the third page of this thread which, ironically, got ignored).

I say it's great here. The problems that people face are the ones that any group of humans will have.
I will state what I think is the truth and all may attempt to correct anything wrong I say.
People here are really accepting, up to a point. I will use myself as an example.
I am a strongly Pro-Life conservative traditional Christian (which means I am not supportive of the LGBT movement). Most people here disagree with me on huge issues.
But no one has kept me out of anything from that. I would like to say I've become relatively popular.
That to say that the community is very accepting.
Like I said, to a point.
The people here are fiercely loyal to all that are loyal and will hold grudges. Some of them go overboard in defending others and sometimes go so far as to attack others on occasion.
But it takes a lot to get them there.

Really as long as you are a decent person and don't break the rules of etiquette on here you're fine. People like Ice and Owen just came on one day and are now favorites of the "mainstream crowd".
I believe far differently than others and was still accepted.
Owen was just a cool dude and was instantly swept up.
Brooklyn is a young one who even though she has a sharp tongue, is extremely mature both in diction and personality, as well as being willing to argue for what she believes in, going to the important political issues of the day. She is rising in popularity after being unknown a week ago after only a few displays of this.

There seem to be only a few crimes that will make anyone annoyed with you. We aren't all friends, but even so we have an unfeigned cordiality towards most users. Some will go so far as to go out of their way for certain users if it is specified and well known they have certain aversions. We even stopped posting pictures of Michael Jackson for Mir Lol.

I've thought about it and I think I have identified the only real "crimes" here. (As always, if anyone wishes to correct me, go for it.)

One that newbies find themselves in a lot is to barge in. This in itself isn't too bad. This is a public place, after all. The problem is when certain users not @ing anyone expect to be let in to the groups immediately and complain when they aren't treated like the others. That takes us to the OG vs Newbie conflict that gets pulled up

People complain that older users have a lot more social power if you will. It's true. People are going to take an OG far more seriously, they are more willing to help them out or chat with them. Here is the heel of the argument though: OGs are not inherently those that are older. What matters, is if you have what we call a Presence. Imagine a cafeteria. Some folks pop in once a week, some once a month, some daily. The daily folks have a Presence. They are well known members of the community. And the community has a sort of balance. Circe compared it to a village where the people are known and then a newcomer moves it. Not that all daily talkers are OGs, but a good deal of daily talkers are OGs. (Not all. There are those that happened to have very vibrant personalities but don't come as often, such as Relsey, have more social credit, while those that chat a lot but are forgettable don't have that.) Not to say that there isn't an inequality, but it is a natural one that doesn't spring from some unfair bias. And even if you don't get in with the "Popular crowd", there are always others to chat with and make friends with. I've seen it. And it's not like you have to be my friend to have a great time on this amazing site.

A thing that might be considered an issue, but one that seems unfixable, and maybe we shouldn't try, is the age gap among users. Sometimes the things that are taboo are simply the behaviors of children that older folks do not stand. I will point out though, that the majority of people here, including OGs, go from fourteen to sixteen. It's hardly being overrun by adults.
So what's really hated is immaturity. People want other people to be grown up enough to deal with the world. When they don't, they are cast down for it. Perhaps this is unfair behavior, but as it is said, this is the internet. A big scary place where you should be prepared for many things. Throwing fits over small things is the easiest way to make others furious.

One thing that might be seen as wrong is bad writing. Which makes sense. We're writers. Good writing is what brings us air. So when we see bad writing, it annoys us. Now this might seem very small minded of us. After all, we were once at least as bad as anything we might scoff at now. But actually? It's not like that at all. We're very open to helping. If anyone wants to improve, we're there to help, if they are willing to learn. There have been some that we tried to help, but refused our sound advise and good opinion. But even then we hold our peace as long as they understand that they are not Tolkien or Austen.
It is when they insist on speaking up without change for the better, when they ask for advice but refuse it, that can be very annoying. This is a thing that can get a person blacklisted. Especially when the person deals in sensitive topics that deserve great respect with the dexterity of an escaped elephant. But if they listen to advice (after they ask for it) and improve, we are more than happy for them. We celebrate their success, which is, to a certain extent, our success, both because of our input and because of our common ties as writers.
Such a good example is Mosis. When Mosis came here he was a pretty bad writer (no shame in that, we all were), but he asked for advice, and after a while, became much better. As you can see from such things as the appreciation chat, we are nothing but happy for him. We're so glad he could triumph.

The thing that is most widely known as hated is manipulation. We're relatively smart, and most of us don't fall for tricks easily. But when we see someone trying to wring sympathy out of people, instead of letting others be, to commiserate or not, we can get pissy. What's even worse is guilt-tripping. People trying to make others guilty when it's unreasonable is despicable. Especially when we see someone falling for it who has done nothing wrong. It's an abuse of people, and it can make us furious.

The other sin is one that is taken most seriously. I don't need to name names. We remember the history. There have been those that have pretended to be someone they are not, or have been caught in lies to big to ignore. Those are punished most harshly, and I am afraid to say that sometimes it means that it could hurt a person who didn't deserve it. This is a sad reality, but that is how it is, and I can't see a solution for something that is based in the human feelings about betrayal.

Another thing that is talked about is how the OGs are intimidating. It is true. The "Cool kids" at the lunch table can be hard to approach. And sometimes the friends of those people could influence them to be more kind do not out of fear of standing up to those friends. But there are some who has shown that the spirit of Neville is still alive. There are some that refuse to be quiet when they spot an injustice.

But I have outlined what should not be done. I think if no one transgresses these rules they will have a wonderful time on this wonderful site. I think these rules are nothing great to ask of the denizens of this community.

In the end it comes down to respect, I think I have a guist of what we're asking from the community
We, the the Notebook community, merely wish for everyone to respect the platform they are joining and participating in. We are willing to accept you.
People make mistakes, they will away's make mistakes. We don't ask for you to be perfect in your dealings here, but we do expect you to own up to your mistakes and recognize when you are wrong.

Everyone on this site should be treated with respect, yes even the jerks who've done unspeakable things. They may not deserve our respect but they should be treated with civility. If we choose to insult and retaliate with harsh words we only escalate situations into site wide conflict, leading to more harm then good. We are writers are we not? Is it not our mission to write peaces of literature? what is a book nut conflict being resolved. We write writing resolutions is what we do.
If someone is royally upsetting you than tell them, but use your writer brain to do so, consider it a writing prompt if you have to. It sounds ridiculous, but it works. Think how would Dumbledore tell them to knock it off? If I were Elisabeth Bennett how would I tell this individual to take a hike with out sounding offensive?

I agree.
The only thing I wanted out of this was to maybe make people realise that they're being kinda shitty and make an effort to be a little less shitty. I'm not necessarily looking for a forum reset or something. I just want people to be aware of how they're behaving. I think that self-awareness is really important and when you're stuck in your own head and in your own ways in some sort of tunnel vision, it can be harmful.

There are some points I made that were kinda stupid. Like, yes, obviously people on gonna be wary towards people they don't know especially on the internet. I'm like that and everyone should be. It's the internet. But there comes a certain point where making an effort is the right thing to do.

And, again, this isn't a call-out post towards OGs. I'm an OG if you'd call me that. I never said that all OGs are discriminative assholes. I'm saying that there's an…expectation? Whatever. If you've been around a long time there's a good chance you're an upper-class Notebook citizen. I suppose that's natural but…unnecessary.

That's all. So…thank you for all the responses. I vaguely remember the old 'versions'. I wasn't very active (maybe a little shy?). I just hope that this sticks with people.

Just reposting this

I agree with many of the points people have listed, both agreeing and disagreeing. This is a complicated problem, and not one that's solved easily. I've been her for a long time, but I will admit I don't venture out of the art threads very often because of people acting toxic or excluding/ignoring newcomers. The few times I even enter general chat I see apology, leaving, call-out, and rant threads that discourage me and likely many other people from being a presence in those areas.

As someone who has been a long time moderator (and still is a designated peacemaker) in other places, I was hoping to keep NB as my quiet place away from the drama and toxicity I deal with elsewhere. Because of this I chose to stay to a few areas and ignore the rest, but I can't do that anymore. This place is supposed to be a community that supports and respects each other, regardless of skill level, experience with the website, or presence.

It's frankly very tiring to always be breaking up arguments and trying to read and diffuse both sides. It becomes all the more difficult with people not being up-front and forward, taking things to new threads and pms instead of addressing the issue and moving on. I've seen communities fall, communities I've loved and been a part of, because of behavior like this. I never want to see NB start down that path, but the drama seems to keep escalating.

Now that I've finished that essay, be respectful to people no matter their "status" is or your opinions about them. It doesn't matter if they're a jerk, it doesn't mean you have to be.

Now that I've finished that essay, be respectful to people no matter their "status" is or your opinions about them. It doesn't matter if they're a jerk, it doesn't mean you have to be.

^^^^^^^^^

Now that I've finished that essay, be respectful to people no matter their "status" is or your opinions about them. It doesn't matter if they're a jerk, it doesn't mean you have to be.

^^^^^^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Brooklyn is a young one who even though she has a sharp tongue, is extremely mature both in diction and personality, as well as being willing to argue for what she believes in, going to the important political issues of the day. She is rising in popularity after being unknown a week ago after only a few displays of this.

Let me also clear something up. I wouldn't consider myself someone who is new to this website in fact I was very active on this website about 3 years ago when it first started. So I already knew/recognized many users and OGs when I came back on here. I think another thing that contributes to this is that I already knew the etiquette of notebook.ai and didn't force myself onto anyone. However, in a way, I am a new user, because this Notebook.AI is vastly different than the one I joined 3 years ago. There is a new culture and a new influx of users. I just stuck with what I knew.

Let me tell you a story, this is not meant to drag attention to me, but to teach people what not to do.

I joined this website when I was 11 years old, my age isn't an excuse, but context matters. However, at the time I was dealing with family issues and the fact that I had depression. I remember just searching up writing websites and finding this gem, I had just finished reading the Hobbit and aspired to write my own fantasies. I remember joining my first roleplay and even talking to people on the general chat. I was so addicted to the website, I would join so many roleplay, keep refreshing the page for notifications, etc. However, as things got worse, my personality online got worse and I started posting rants about how hard my life was or how depressed I was. I would constantly ask other people for help because I had never dealt with depression before. I was so afraid that because of how bad it was, I wouldn't make it through the night. One day I fucking faked my own death. That's right people, I faked my own death, I wouldn't respond for days and people worried. I liked that, I liked the fact that people genuinely worried about me, I liked the fact that I was getting attention. However, people caught on and I got called out for it. Then I realized why I liked it, Notebook.AI was an escape from my reality that I had been trying to ignore, I liked the attention because no one would give me the attention I needed. Because of the stunt I pulled, I lost many friends and even my reputation on here, so I deleted my account and left. I knew I needed to get better. I went and got help, and about a year later here I am. I came back to this website because I knew I needed to apologize for my actions and own up to them.

What's the lesson here?

Its
Not
Worth
It

I see a lot of new users pulling these stunts as if it would gain them any popularity. It's not worth it. You do not need to prove yourself to people who sit behind a screen, do you hear me? It may feel like you do, but you don't, I promise you.
If you are depressed and are posting your insecurities online, please consider getting help, I promise that it will help you In the long run.
If people are pointing out your wrongdoings, take their criticisms, and learn how you can better yourself. From personal experience, some users not calling anyone out ignore the advice that they are given and constantly blame the people trying to help them. Take the advice. Learn from your mistakes and get better because of them.

To address the drama, you are right, there are many ways of which it could be handled better, I admit that I am part of the problem and I'm trying to be more aware of what I'm doing. I do think that if you do have a problem with someone, you should just settle them privately in a PM instead of dragging it out publicly.

I would also like to apologize for my behavior. I know I've said and done it before, but the reason I came to Notebook.Ai again was so that I could apologize.
I realize that I can take situations a little bit too far and perhaps escalate them more than necessary and I apologize for that. I also apologize that I may seem hostile at times, please don't be afraid to call me out if you need to.

In this post, I would also like to thank people. I would like to thank @andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) for keeping the drama well under control and being the mediator in situations.
I would also like to thank some of the OG users here. I might not remember who you are, but I just wanted to thank you for being in my childhood

That is all.

Really as long as you are a decent person and don't break the rules of etiquette on here you're fine. People like Ice and Owen just came on one day and are now favorites of the "mainstream crowd".
I believe far differently than others and was still accepted.
Owen was just a cool dude and was instantly swept up.

:)))))
Danke, danke.

finger guts

i agree, its why ive been inactive on here

Bruh this was so dead. Also read what others have posted before echoing a statement that at the most is an exasperation on a specific problem.

I know this thread is deceased, but…. There's a great message in this song!