Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets

Dallas: Hey Andor, why do you wear those red converse all the time?
Andor: Because they are my shoes.

Keyla: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!
Taven: Struggling to hold a seagull Fucking say that next time!

Ara: 99.9% of the people I know are stupid.
Andor: I’m the 1%
Ara: looking at him Are you? Are you really?

Crispin: the doctor said i’m perfectly fine. except for this burn scar. and this broken rib- that’s right next to two other broken ribs.
Eva: did the doctor clear you or not?
Crispin: he did not alright lets get to work.

Andor : there’s no i in team but there is one in pizza.
Dallas : ….so you’re not going to share?
Andor: i am not going to share.

Eva: It's ok to ask for help.
Caleb: Your feelings matter.
Crispin: Murder is ok!
Kit: You're not a burden.

Kit: We’re missing something, guys.
Eva: Cohesion?
Caleb: Teamwork?
Crispin: A drink?
Adelia: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Gerard: And Frank is not here.
Kit: Oh, and that, yeah.

Gerard: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

Andor: Hey, do you know the password to Ara's computer?
Dallas: Fuck you, Andor.
Andor: Excuse me?
Dallas: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouandor".
Andor: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

Dallas: Pardon the intrusion, but-
Ara: On this moment, or just on my life in general?

James: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.
Nina: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: My opinions don’t have to be consistent. I think whatever makes me feel nice at the time and there’s no law against that.

@HighPockets

Casey: Hey Randall, why do you wear those red converse all the time?
Beck: Because they're my shoes?

Charley: The doctor said I’m perfectly fine. Except for the gash on my face. And this broken rib- that is right next to two other broken ribs.
Brinna: Did the doctor clear you or not?
Charley: He did not. Alright, let's get to work.

@larcenistarsonist

Hammy: Hey Howie, why do you wear those red converse all the time?
Howie: Because they're my shoes.

Tania: The doctor said I’m perfectly fine. Except for the gash on my face. And this broken rib- that is right next to two other broken ribs.
Dominic: Did the doctor clear you or not?
Tania: He did not. Alright, let's get to work.

Grace: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!
Tonio [struggling to hold a seagull]: Fucking say that next time!

Paisley: 99.9% of the people I know are stupid.
Shea: I’m the 1%
Paisley, glaring at her: Are you? Are you really?

@threesacult

Anthony: The doctor said I’m perfectly fine. Except for the gash on my face. And this broken rib, which is right next to two other broken ribs.
Emmett: Did the doctor clear you or not?
Anthony: He did not. Alright, let's get to work.

Ophelia: When I said 'bring me something back from the beach' I meant, like, a conch shell!
Quill, struggling to hold a seagull: Fucking say that next time!

Anthony: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

Dally: Look, I'm straight, but I also just want a guy to kiss me and tell me I'm pretty, you know? Is that too much to ask for?
The drive-thru employee:
Dally: Anyway, can I also get a large fry

Ophelia: If one more person calls me overdramatic, I am actually going to light myself on fire.

Dally: Shit, they're coming! Hide in the closet!
Quill, giggling: But you just came outta there.
Dally: KID THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME

Emmett, on Facebook: First person to comment is gay.
Emmett, immediately after: Hello, friends, I have something to tell you

Quill: You know what? Under it all, you're actually really nice.
Emmett: Repeat that disgusting slander again, and you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

@HighPockets

Joey: You got arrested?
Ira: For something I didn't do.
Joey: What didn't you do?
Ira: Run fast enough.

Therapist: If you had seven knives and someone asked you for three of them, how many would you have left?
Ira: Seven.
Therapist: Alright, what if someone stole three of your knives? How many would you have then?
Ira: Seven. And a dead body.

Ira: Doctor said I’m fine. Except for the bullet wound. And the broken rib, which is right next to two other broken ribs. And broken toes.
Joey: Did the doctor clear you or not?
Ira: Did not. Let's go.
~~Tbh that one could go either way~~

Rosa: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

Bastian: Look, I'm straight, but I also just want a guy to kiss me and tell me I'm pretty, you know? Is that too much to ask for?
The drive-thru employee:
Bastian: Anyway, can I also get a large fry?

Algernon: If one more person calls me overdramatic, I am actually going to light myself on fire.

Oscar: Shit, they're coming! Hide in the closet!
Lucia, giggling: But you just came out of there.
Oscar: Lucy, this is really not the time-

Henry, on Facebook: First person to comment is gay.
Henry, immediately after: Hello, friends, I have something to tell you

Bastian: You’re not even going to say sorry?
Cath: I have nothing to apologize for.
Bastian: You broke my hand!
Cath: Technically, you broke your own hand when I dodged your attempt to punch me in the face. It’s not my fault I’ve got reflexes like a lynx.

Michael, to the rest of the Millennium League: We’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses. What can we live without?
Tobias: Venus, probably.

Ceza: Before the ship takes off, we should make sure all small items are secure.
Tiodore, to Vittoria: Are you feeling safe, Pearl?

Ira: He died of natural causes.
Therapist: You dropped him off a building.
Ira: Gravity is natural.

Therapist: What is your biggest weakness?
Ira: Uncooperation.
Therapist: Okay, can you give me an example?
Ira: No.

Maisy: The eagles won last night.
Joey: Oh, did you watch the game?
Maisy, covered in scratches: What game?

Luc: I’m in a really bad place right now. Not mentally, I’m just on Chora.

Addie: What are you, five?
Kay: Yeah, five feet taller than you.

Eliza: Being Trinculo's teammate means learning how to have selective hearing because God, do I wish I could un-listen to most of the stupid shit he says.

Joey: How did you get in here?
Ira, bleeding heavily: Door was unlocked.
Mabel: It most certainly was not.
Ira: Was after I kicked it.

Ceza: Time for Plan G.
Jimmy: Don’t you mean Plan B?
Ceza: No, we tried Plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over Plan C due to technical difficulties.
Hank: What about Plan D?
Ceza: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Yrin: And Plan E?
Ceza: I’m hoping not to use it. Schriver dies in Plan E.
Tiodore: I like Plan E.

Sal: Shit.
Greta: You need to work on your swearing, Sal.
Sal: Why? I’d say I’m pretty good at swearing already.

Joey: Alright, before we start working together we should go over some basic first aid procedures. For example, what would you do if I got stabbed?
Ira: Avenge you.

Deleted user

September 19, 2022

Charles: Remember that time when you dared me to lick that swing set?
Annabeth: No, I said “Charles, don’t lick that swing set.” and you said, “Don’t tell me what to do, Annabeth!” and then you licked the swing set.

Neo: What are you doing?
Neo: Why are your arms doing that?
Neo: This can't be normal-
Annabeth: This is called a hug.

Felicity: Are you going to help, or are you too pretty?
Jack: I’m too pretty.

Robert: What the heck is wrong with you?!
Jack: I have this weird self esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I'm better than almost everyone else.

James: I trust Ben.
Lily: You think he knows what he's doing?
James: … I wouldn't go THAT far.

Jack: I guess you could say I've… fallen for you. [winks]
Felicity: You literally just rolled down an entire flight of stairs, how are you even alive-

Robert: Sidney has … a challenging personality.
Jack: He's mostly a brat, but every once in a while, he can be a butt hole.
Sidney: I'm standing right here.

Arrthyus: Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing.
Arrthyus: It's me. I'm the responsible parent. Don't do that.

Ben: We have to get through this locked door. Quick, Robert, give me your credit card.
Robert: Here, take it.
Ben, pocketing the card: Cool, now kick the door down.

James: I’ve never actually been in a snowball fight.
Ben: Really?
James: I don’t even know the rules. Is there like a point system, or is it to the death?

Jack: I could get killed! Or worse, Robert will give me the responsibility lecture again!

Kidnapper: I have your kid.
Robert: I don’t have a kid.
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for, and I quote “all the money”?
Robert: Oh my gosh, you have Ben.

Charles: I hate it when I’m hot and someone tells me to ‘take your jacket off’, like no, this is my outfit.

@larcenistarsonist

Ransom: Look, I'm straight, but I also just want a guy to kiss me and tell me I'm pretty, you know? Is that too much to ask for?
The drive-thru employee:
Ransom: Anyway, can I also get a large fry

Eshaal: If one more person calls me overdramatic, I am actually going to light myself on fire.

Thaddeus: Shit, they're coming! Hide in the closet!
Sparrow, giggling: But you just came outta there.
Thaddeus: KID THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME

Drew, on Facebook: First person to comment is gay.
Drew, immediately after: Hello, acquaintances, I have something to tell you

Avon: You know what? Under it all, you're actually really nice.
Killian: Repeat that disgusting slander again, and you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

Dahlia: You got arrested?
Midge: For something I didn't do.
Dahlia: What didn't you do?
Midge: Run fast enough.

Haru: If you had seven knives and someone asked you for three of them, how many would you have left?
Abel: Seven.
Haru: Alright, what if someone stole three of your knives? How many would you have then?
Abel: Seven. And a dead body.

Paisley: You’re not even going to say sorry?
Abel: I have nothing to apologize for.
Paisley: You broke my hand!
Abel: Technically, you broke your own hand when I dodged your attempt to punch me in the face. It’s not my fault I’ve got reflexes like a lynx.

Donovan, to the Six: We’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses. What can we live without?
Paisley: Drew, probably.

Dominic: Before the train takes off, we should make sure all small items are secure.
Elias, to Dolly: Are you feeling safe, Doll?

Rhyda: He died of natural causes.
Artemis: You dropped him off a building.
Rhyda: Gravity is natural.

Haru: What is your biggest weakness?
Abel: Uncooperation.
Haru: Okay, can you give me an example?
Abel: No.

Shea: The eagles won last night.
Crimson: Oh, did you watch the game?
Shea, covered in scratches: What game?

Zaid: I’m in a really bad place right now. Not mentally, I’m just in Texas.

Bianca: What are you, five?
Shea: Yeah, five feet taller than you.

Grace: Being Felix's teammate means learning how to have selective hearing because God, do I wish I could un-listen to most of the stupid shit he says.

Dahlia: How did you get in here?
Midge, eating ramen on the bean bag: Door was unlocked.
Dahlia: It most certainly was not.
Midge: Was after I kicked it.

Tania: Time for Plan G.
Dominic: Don’t you mean Plan B?
Tania: No, we tried Plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over Plan C due to technical difficulties.
Elias: What about Plan D?
Tania: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Blaire: And Plan E?
Tania: Jack dies in Plan E.
Kane Arachnid: I like Plan E.

Vaughn: Shit.
Eshaal: You need to work on your swearing, Johanson.
Vaughn: Why? I’d say I’m pretty good at swearing already.

Selene: Alright, before we start working together we should go over some basic first aid procedures. For example, what would you do if I got stabbed?
Tobias: Avenge you.

@Starfast

Milo: Negative feedback doesn't hurt me. I was raised by Arribean parents.
Milo: It wasn't until I was seven that I realized that my name wasn't 'you idiot'

Andor: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Ara: I do have a sense of humor you know
Andor: I've never heard you laugh before
Ara: I've never heard you say something funny

Gerard: Alright, before we start working together we should go over some basic first aid procedures. For example, what would you do if I got stabbed?
Crispin: Avenge you.

Gerard: If one more person calls me overdramatic, I am actually going to light myself on fire.

Ara: Being Andor's friend means learning how to have selective hearing because God, do I wish I could un-listen to most of the stupid shit he says.

Taven: I guess you could say I've… fallen for you. [winks]
Keyla: You literally just rolled down an entire flight of stairs, how are you even alive-

Andor: I could get killed! Or worse, Ara will give me the responsibility lecture again!

@HighPockets

Frid: Negative feedback doesn't hurt me. I mean, have you met my parents?
Frid: It wasn't until I was seven that I realized that my name wasn't 'you idiot'

Pistol: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Alistair: I do have a sense of humor, you know
Pistol: I've never heard you laugh before
Alistair: I've never heard you say something funny

Nellie: Alright, before we start working together we should go over some basic first aid procedures. For example, what would you do if I got stabbed?
Berenice: Avenge you.

Frid: I guess you could say I've… fallen for you.
Jeanne-Marie: You literally just rolled down an entire flight of stairs, how are you even alive-

Henry: I could get killed! Or worse, Aunt Mina will give me the responsibility lecture again!

@HighPockets

(The moment when you realize you have two Henrys and two Anthonys–)

@Yamatsu

(Imagine how I feel, seeing my actual name being put into Incorrect Quotes that accurately ~~target~~ describe me)

Deleted user

Lexie: Remember that time when you dared me to lick that swing set?
Ryan: No, I said “Lexie, don’t lick that swing set.” and you said, “Don’t tell me what to do, Ryan!” and then you licked the swing set.

Vikki: What are you doing?
Vikki: Why are your arms doing that?
Vikki: This can't be normal—
Max: This is called a hug.

Eli: Are you going to help, or are you too pretty?
Christian: I’m too pretty.

Jason: [to Percy] What the heck is wrong with you?!
Vikki: [from the other room] He has this weird self esteem issue where he hates himself but still think he’s better than almost everyone else!
Percy: Shut up, Viktoria!

Cassie: I trust Sierra.
Copper: You think she knows what she’s doing?
Cassie:… I wouldn't go THAT far.

Jamie: I guess you could say I've… fallen for you. [winks]
Cassie: You literally just rolled down an entire flight of stairs, how are you even alive—

Vikki: We have to get through this locked door. Quick, Percy, give me your credit card.
Percy: Here, take it.
Vikki, pocketing the card: Cool, now kick the door down.

Vikki: I’ve never actually been in a snowball fight.
Bryce: What???
Vikki: I don’t even know the rules. Is there like a point system, or is it to the death?

Jamie: I could get killed! Or worse, Eli and Noah will give me the responsibility lecture again!

Kidnapper: We have your daughter.
Percy: [having stayed up all night and is running on three cups of coffee] Who???
Kidnapper: Uh… The one who just hotwired all our vehicles and locked herself in the bathroom with a makeshift remote control?
Percy: Oh, Viktoria.
Kidnapper: Please come pick her up.
Percy: Lol, no.
Kidnapper: Please; she’s run over three men.
Percy: [sipping his fourth cup of coffee] Your problem, not mine.

Jamie: I hate it when I’m hot and someone tells me to ‘take your jacket off’, like no, this is my outfit.

Deleted user

September 26, 2022

James: Are you okay?
Ben, looking off into the distance: In theory.

Ben: As far as plans go, this is not a good one.
James: This was your plan, Benjamin!
Ben: I didn't think you'd actually say yes!

Charles: Hopefully Jack has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Jack: Shut up and die, mud boy.

Jack: Hey, what are the best kind of fireworks to buy?
Charles: Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy.
Jack:
Jack: Where are your parents?

Annabeth: Jack, you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning if you keep staying up this late.
Jack: Joke's on you. I’m going to hate myself in the morning regardless.

Ben: Pardon the intrusion, but-
James: On this moment, or just on my life in general?

Robert: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, Charles.
Charles: I'm pretty sure I'm a criminal, Robert.
Jack: I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover.

Charles: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Sidney: I do have a sense of humor, you know
Charles: I've never heard you laugh before
Sidney: I've never heard you say something funny

@HighPockets

Cath: Are you okay?
Isaak, looking off into the distance: In theory.

Tiodore: Hey, what are the best kind of fireworks to buy?
Carey: Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy.
Tiodore:
Tiodore: Where are your parents?

Vittoria: Tio, you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning if you keep staying up this late.
Tiodore: Joke's on you. I’m going to hate myself in the morning regardless.

Ira: Pardon the intrusion, but-
Joey: On this moment, or just on my life in general?

Douglas: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Byron: I do have a sense of humor, you know
Douglas: I've never heard you laugh before
Byron: I've never heard you say something funny

@Starfast

Dallas: It's very Kafkaesque.
Ara: Yes, that's because it's written by Franz Kafka.

Taven: If my crush disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles.
Keyla: Well, maybe you should have principles.
Taven: You're absolutely right. Maybe I should.

Nina: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?
Ella: It’s just you.

Leo: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Crispin: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Dalvand: Hope you get run over by a truck.
Milo: Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.

Adelia: Gerard, you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning if you keep staying up this late.
Gerard: Joke's on you. I’m going to hate myself in the morning regardless.

@larcenistarsonist

Howie: It's very Kafkaesque.
Avon: Yes, that's because it's written by Franz Kafka.

Jack: If my crush disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles.
Dominic: Well, maybe you should have principles.
Jack: You're absolutely right. Maybe I should.

Midge: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?
Dahlia: It’s just you.

Felix: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Shea: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Sid: Hope you get run over by a truck.
Cagney: Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.

@HighPockets