Warren: Vivian, can I talk to you for a second?
Vivian: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Sammy are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Warren: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
Vivian: I have yet to encounter a problem where a glock didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.
Vivian: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.
River: I have a problem.
Evan: Kill it.
Blackberry: You believe me?
Vivian: Blackberry, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
Dreamer: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?
Vivian: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.
Sammy: I don't know how to tell you this, but…I love you.
River: That's great. Especially considering the fact we've been married for six years.
Vivian: I’m quick at maths.
Evan: Ok, what’s 38 times 76?
Vivian: 24.
Evan: That wasn’t even close.
Vivian: But it was quick.
Warren: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.
Evan: There are no books in prison.
Warren: sighs Thank you.
Dreamer: What does 'take out' mean?
Warren: Food.
River: Dating
Evan: Murder
Vivian: It can mean all three if you're not a coward.
River: Are you busy?
Evan: No.
River: Want to do something?
Evan: Why would you try to ruin this for me?
Evan, winning at Connect Four for the seventh time in a row: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.
Vivian: Would you stop saying that every time you win?!
Vivian: Warren, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?
Warren: My doctor just said I should avoid-
Vivian: Being a wuss? I agree.
Evan: I'm never having a debate with Vivian again. She started her fucking argument with 'riddle me this.'
Suzanne: Hopefully Sal has learned an important lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Screwgun: Shut up and die Suzy.
Suzanne: If I was married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee~
Vivian: If I was married to you, I’d drink it~
Vivian: Isn't it incredible how I can feel this bad and look this good?
River: The hell is wrong with you!?
Evan: Loaded question. Elaborate.
Suzanne: New Orleans girls, we're inconsolable!
Suzanne: Dreams of doom, the visions won't stop!
Suzanne: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?
Suzanne: Remember, kid, curiosity killed the cat.
Vivian: Forgot satisfaction brought it back. Find out if that shit catches fire, Screwgun.
Suzanne: You're a terrible influence.
Vivian: You don't know your sayings.
Warren: As they say, 'It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield.'
Blackberry: Opposite over hypotenuse.
Evan: God, I'm tired.
River: You get three hours of sleep a night, why are you surprised?
Evan: I'm not surprised, I just want to complain about it.
Screwgun: sometimes I just call the number on the missing dog posters and just bark
Warren: sorry if I’m bothering you
Lifeguard pulling him to shore: what
Vivian: hello this is Vivian from doordash
Vivian: pick a number between 1 and 10
Warren: 4
Vivian: Wrong
Vivian: no food for you
Warren: what
Warren: why
Warren: Vivian please
Evan after removing almost everyone from his private social media account: wait so I have only one follower now
Evan: hi Suzy
Suzanne: hey girl 👋 👋
Screwgun: “there’s food at the house” okay and what if I fucking kill you how about that
Blackberry: what is gaslighting?
Warren: you know what it is
Blackberry: no I don’t.
Warren: yes you do
Warren: is it normal to go for a walk in my neighborhood? like in jeans and sweatshirt? are people gonna think I’m weird?
Warren, editing the post: sorry folks. Got high and super paranoid.