"–The whole team's in your corner," Steve said, trying to be reassuring in the only way he could think of. Before, they were more affectionate with each other, with arms looped over shoulders, playful shoves, and hugs. Steve knew that he was still in a bit of a fragile state, but it hurt him to see his Bucky unnerved like this and not know what affection he could show. "We're all gonna back you up, no matter what."
Bucky shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, but…there's seven of you. Versus how many billions of people in the world? How many millions in the United States, and all it would take for them to hate me is a few newspaper publications condemning me."
Steve pressed his lips into a hard line, taking a thoughtful breath. "This type of thing…hasn't really happened before," Steve said slowly, sighing at how baffling the situation truly was, "We don't know how people are gonna react, and their reaction might even be good! They might see things the way we do– since the truth is coming out."
Bucky shrugged. "Or they'll see a psychopath who destroyed SHIELD." he replied, looking out the window for a moment, then at Steve again, chewing on his lip.
"Or they'll see a good man: someone who served– a veteran, God," Steve said with a tired smile, "–Someone who went through…years of pain and…is still standing."
"No, that's what they see you as." Bucky replied calmly. "Possibly minus the years of pain." he shrugged again, lip still caught between his teeth.
"Well…it's what I see you as," Steve said with his own faint shrug, "Don't you see the same?"
Bucky shook his head slightly, but didn't elaborate on what exactly he did see himself as. His blue eyes were darting around the party again, frowning a little bit.
Steve let out a short sigh. It hurt him to know that Bucky couldn't think of himself to be anything as simple as a good person. "Whatever you think you are, right now–" He said, kicking at an invisible spot on the ground, "You're not…that. Your brain's playin' tricks on you or somethin'."
Bucky shrugged. "But I remember doing…all these awful things…and that's not…" He trailed off, eyebrows drawing together as he shook his head.
"…Those were things you didn't want to do," Steve replied, his voice soft and likely drowned out by the rest of the party, "You couldn't stop yourself, Bucky. It's okay."
Bucky shrugged. "But I did them. Whether or not I wanted to do them or not, I did do them." He closed his eyes for a moment.
Steve sighed, trying to keep his tired shoulders up for the sake of appearances. "Good people do bad things, and that doesn't change the fact," He said, "You can't be held accountable for something you didn't want to do."
Bucky let out a breath. "Fine. Whatever." he replied softly, scuffing his foot on the floor like a kid in trouble. "Sorry."
" 's Okay," Steve said with a slow nod, his gaze gentle and steadying, "It's…a process. One that I'm…here for. I want you to know I'm on your side."
Bucky nodded. "I know you are. But…in the long run, I don't know if that'll help anything." he said quietly, shaking his head.
"Of course it will," Steve said with assurance, "I'm gonna help in any way that I can. Any way, anything that I can do, I'll do it."
Bucky shrugged slightly. "Maybe. I just…I don't know, Steve." he replied quietly, looking out the window.
"That's okay, too," Steve said with a soft smile, glancing out the window and nodding to himself, "We'll figure it out; we always do."
Bucky let out a quiet laugh, and nodded. "Yeah, alright." he replied.
Tony came over. "Alright, Steve. What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Hm–" Steve turned, "Oh. Um," He bit his lip, weighing his options. I could tell him; it'd be a relief– but he'll never shut up about it. Hmm. "On second thought, maybe I don't need to. Or, another time?"
Tony sighed. "Steve, seriously? No chickening out on me. Come on." he replied, waving a hand. "You'll forget or something if you put it off."
Won't forget this, Steve sucked in a long breath, "Are you sure?" He casually glanced around the room, well aware that Bucky was literally next to them. He couldn't admit his mixed-up feelings now, "But here? I dunno– it's a bit of a bombshell. Well, not to you. To me."
"You don't have to say it here, no. I meant come with me to the other room real quick. I'd agree you don't want to say anything important with all these reporters around. Bucky will be fine." Tony replied.
Steve glanced at Bucky with the question written on his face. What if the journalists corner him again? He sighed, turning back to Tony, "Okay. Yeah– we'll step out of the party real quick. I'll be back in a minute?" He said, his gaze flickering back to Bucky.