forum Marvel AU OxO?

Started November 29, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

Bucky looked over, and nodded slightly. "Right. Okay. I'll be fine." he replied, looking out the window again.

"Come on." Tony said, starting to walk again. He led Steve over to a different area of the tower, to a separate room.

Steve begrudgingly followed Tony to another room, trying to get his thoughts into a proper state of communicating. What would I even say? 'You were right, I am kind of in love with him?' God. He nervously crossed his arms, resisting the urge to start pacing back and forth.

Tony looked at him, raising his eyebrows slightly. "So. What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, looking curiously at Steve.

Steve rubbed his eyes. "I um…don't exactly need to talk about it– I just need to…" He laughed, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling, "–Um, confess? I guess. That um– you were…you are right about…" Steve shrugged, "What I feel…for him."

Tony stared at him for a long moment. "You…oh." he said slowly, blinking. "Does he know?" he asked, looking at Steve carefully.

Steve took a long breath, his lungs making it seem like the asthma never left. He shook his head, "No, he doesn't. I– At least I think so. I mean, it's been this way for a while. And–" Steve bit his lip, shaking his head like his own disbelief would erase his thoughts. The serum didn't. "No, he doesn't know. He can't know. He'd never look at me the same."

Tony let out a breath, looking at Steve carefully. "Right. Okay." at Steve's second words, he frowned a little bit. "Steve…maybe it would be a good thing to tell him eventually. I'd agree that maybe not know, when he's still adjusting to lots of things, but…"

Steve shook his head, "No, no. I can't– He can't know. This would fuck everything up between us, and our relationship is still…feeble, as of now." His eyebrows faintly drew together and his gaze flickered to the ground, "And…I've got my own shit to figure out because of…all this."

"Steve, you know there's nothing…wrong with being gay, right? Or bi? Or whatever you are?" his mouth twitched in a faint smile.

"Yeah, I know." Steve sighed, slowly with a nod and a now travelling gaze; he couldn't look him in the eye. "I know…there's nothing wrong with it but it just– It feels wrong. And it feels right, too. It feels so right, even though 'it' is nonexistent between us."

Tony smiled slightly, and nodded. "Steve, there is nothing wrong with it. Just…I don't know, man." he rubbed his face with a hand.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, "I know, but I– I just shouldn't feel these things for him; it just makes things harder. Things have been hard enough."

"You're allowed to feel things for him, Steve. Hell, the way he acts sometimes…I don't want to start anything, but…I think it's plausible that he might feel the same way about you, Steve. He just…he might not realize it yet."

Steve swallowed, "No, no. That's not…" He shook his head dismissively, trying to get rid of what he pictured, "No, you don't know him. He…He likes girls."

"Yeah? And he'd say the same of you." Tony countered, raising his eyebrows slightly at Steve. "So that's not really a solid argument."

Steve folded his arms to his chest, careful not to wrinkle his suit. "But I've never…" He lightly scoffed, shaking his head, "He knows– or knew, that I've never…been dizzy with a dame. But that's beside the point– I know he likes girls." Of course he does. He's never shown me otherwise, aside from a few rowdy nights and…hm.

"Yeah? Most of the media thinks you and Peggy Carter were a thing, you gonna tell me that's all fake? I'm not saying that I doubt you or the way you feel, I'm just saying that…maybe he thinks that happened too."

"I mean…sure. Maybe I was sweet on her for the time being. I liked her, I'll admit that." Steve shrugged, "But this is…different. He knows it wasn't really serious between us."

"No, Steve, he knew that. Don't forget he's not the same person he was, and his memories aren't all there yet. He might have known that then, but he doesn't now." Tony replied.

"Okay, but still," Steve said, "I know that he's not…y'know. He's not attracted to me, or whatever," He shook his head, the words feeling too foreign on his tongue.

"And how do you know that? Have you asked him?" Tony replied, arching his eyebrows at Steve. "Or are you just assuming?"

"I haven't asked h–" Steve shook his head, lightly scoffing, "And I'm not assuming." Well, maybe I am. "He's never said …or done anything to make me think he was or is."

"Yeah? And have you done anything to make him think that you are?" Tony asked. "Steve, really. You're just assuming that he doesn't care, because of, what? Memories of the 1940's? Where he would have been publicly shunned for any hint of being gay or bi or anything other than hetero?"

"Not in public, Tony," Steve said, talking with his hand gestures, "I know he cares, but before– we were just close. We knew we couldn't do some stuff in public–" He thought of closed curtains and that grainy-sounding record, "–But he doesn't want me that way. And if, miraculously, he did, he probably doesn't feel the same now because of how much HYDRA took from him."

Tony sighed. "You are just determined to wallow in self-pity and singleness and "woe is me, he doesn't like me that way", aren't you?" he shook his head a little, putting his hands on his hips. "You realize that in the truth or dare game, he looked disappointed when you pulled away?"