forum Marvel AU OxO?

Started November 29, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

"That was the morning we came back," Steve shrugged softly, slipping his shoulders under the soft tufts of the blanket, "Hmph, they couldn't get the photographers in fast enough, the papers went wild."

Bucky smiled a little bit, and nodded. He could remember vague flashes, but nothing real. Nothing concrete. He hated it.

Steve gingerly flipped the page, subconsciously scooching closer to better see, "That one–" He squinted his eyes in thought, pointing at a photo of Bucky with a shy smile, his hair shorter and staring at something past the camera. "I think I took this one," He nodded, remembering how he told him he was the only thing worth photographing, Bucky's shy laugh when he brushed it off as a joke.

Bucky bit his lip slightly. "Oh." He replied softly. He wondered if he would ever remember that. If he would see these from his point of view.

"Hm," Steve said with a gentle nod, his eyes lingering on the photo for a moment, trying to process that the man staring blankly at the album was the same one who looked at him with such warmth in the photograph. "I remember I had to track down the photographer to get these after they were taken."

Bucky nodded a little. I don't remember… But he didn't say it. He knew that Steve knew that already, that saying it would just hurt the other male. And…he didn't really want to hurt Steve.

Steve took Bucky's silence for what it was; nothing. Hmm. "Oh–" Steve said through a growing smile at the sight of the two of them tuckered out against the trunk of a tree, "This one is of the two of us sleeping," He chuckled, smiling at his own folded arms and Bucky's serene expression– still the same.

Bucky nodded a little, examining the picture. He resisted the urge to brush his fingers against the picture, swallowing. He didn't know what to say.

"It's okay if you don't remember," Steve quietly said after a moment, his eyes tracing another photo as he spoke. "And…you don't have to strain yourself trying." He smiled softly, stealing a glance his way, "Being curious is enough." 'Cause curious is how I feel.

Bucky nodded again. "Alright." He said softly, running a hand through his hair and letting out a slow breath. "Thanks."

"Mhm," Steve murmured in acknowledgement, his fingers gently lingering over the edges of another picture of the Howling Commandos. "Do you…remember them at all?" He asked, faintly smiling at their relieved expressions being greeted with elated ones.

Bucky thought for a moment, then shook his head slightly. "No. Not…not yet." he replied softly, studying the image and hoping he would someday recognize those faces better.

"Well, there's us," Steve said, pointing them out in a group photo, "There's Tim or– Dugan, I guess. Gabe, Jacques," He went on, studying each of their faces as he listed, "And uh, Falsworth, Samuel, Jim, Pinkerton, and…Jonathan's hiding in the back,"

He nodded a little bit, looking at the image and trying to picture these men living and whole and warm and young. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring up memories of how he knew they must have looked.

"Hmm. I remember you trying to talk to some of the other guys in French– though broken and mixed up, you kept using me as a reference, like 'Steve, how do you say this and that,'" He said with a laugh, remembering Bucky's hyper state of social energy, wanting to say hello to everybody and not sitting still for a good while. "That was a good day, for the most part."

He nodded a little bit, despite not remembering that at all. "Huh. Alright." he said slowly, shaking his head a little bit.

"Anyway," Steve shrugged, sitting back and running a hand through his hair, not as damp as it'd been before. "Wh– does anything stick out to you?" He prompted, hoping that he'd get even the slightest flash of a memory.

Bucky swallowed, then shook his head. "Not right now." he said slowly, but even as the words left his mouth, he could remember standing and talking and laughing with– with someone. He didn't know who.

Steve turned the page, showing them a fresh set of photos, some crinkled newspaper clippings along with some from the war and the aftermath of HYDRA bases. Bucky's photograph had been in the paper sometime after the war, when journalists had better cleared the stories of so many. "Just wait," Steve said with quiet reassurance, "Something will pop up."

Bucky's eyes flashed at the HYDRA bases, and he swallowed, closing his eyes against flashes of more violent memories. "You will be a perfect weapon." "The sword of HYDRA." he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

Steve sensed something stirring within Bucky, a gentle frustration, maybe. It was the way his shoulder tensed the slightest bit, like they always did when he was feeling troubled, and his long breath, on the verge of turning into a shaky exhale. "They got…all of them." He said quietly, scanning over the pictures, "They had a map of all their bases, there weren't any more."

He closed his eyes. "Before, or after the war? Because if it was afterward, then obviously some got missed." His voice was quiet. Not bitter or anything, just factual.

"We helped take down most of them while the war was goin' on," Steve nodded, "Afterwards, they found a few, but that was supposed to be it." He took a long breath, that creeping guilt finding him, "That was supposed to be it."

Bucky shook his head a little. "Well, it wasn't." He said simply, quietly, his flesh hand tracing along the metal of his left wrist.

"…Yeah." Steve said silently, looking down at Bucky's right hand over his left. Without thinking, he put his hand over it, gently holding it. "I'm sorry," He said with a dullness, "–That th– we didn't do better."