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Tohru shook his head gently. He wasn't going to snap back with such a delicate topic.
"There wasn't a day I spent alone that I didn't think about giving up. But I wouldn't say it's better that way. I know pain. I've watched people turn. I wouldn't wish a fate like that on my worst enemy," he said quietly, "I'm fighting for a day where you kids won't know endless suffering. Even if I have to die trying."
Kas stared at the stairs as he slowly made his way down them. "But how long until that day comes? What… what if it never comes? What if we just spend our whole lives fighting, hoping for something better, and then it just… never happens? We'd have wasted our whole lives for something impossible, and watched our friends die along the way… is it really worth all of that?"
"Well… it's either maybe waste it fighting or definitely waste it laying down and dying," Tohru replied, his voice breaking off a bit, "This hope of rebuilding, or having someone else rebuild if I don't make it- it's all I have. I don't believe in any god or afterlife. I just need to make things right here, as much as I possibly can. Some of our friends, our family, our lovers… they're dead and gone, but I'm sure they'd want us to push on. I don't see us in particular saving humanity, but the more of us that survive, the better chance we have at maybe being able to survive as the human race."
"Y-Yeah, I guess so… I worry that we're going to all die off, though. I doubt very many people are having babies right now. It's not exactly smart given the circumstances; there's no way to really take care of them." Kas sighed and carefully took another step, still uneasy and upset.
"Not right now, no. But if things calm down a bit, if a cure is found… People could start to repopulate again then. Mind you, I will not be helping in that effort," Tohru laughed slightly, "But, seeing as there are a lot of kids orphaned by all of this, I'd be more than happy to take some in."
Tohru paused a bit.
"Someone out there is definitely looking for a cure. Or at least a way to make it stop."
"Yeah… and maybe there's some parts of the world that aren't affected that we could go to. I mean… zombies aren't alive, but they can't last forever with no other people around, right?" Kas asked hopefully, tripping on the stairs and barely managing to catch himself with the rail.
Tohru grabbed Kas' other arm, making sure he didn't fall.
"Here. You can just hold my arm the rest of the way down."
He gave a small frown.
"Zombies… are alive," he whispered, "Not sentient. But they are alive. At least, that's what the doctor and a couple of the scientists on my old team determined. At its base, it's a disease. Although the one thing I'm not sure about is whether the disease eventually kills, or if they keep living, as long as they have food. And they can eat animals as well, so even if humans evacuated-"
He stopped, his mouth going dry.
"I wish I'd understood what they were talking about better… Since I'm the only one left, possibly."
Kas held tightly to Tohru's arm, pretty unsteady and nervous. "Yeah… I'm guessing most zombies aren't exactly going to be compliant for testing and stuff. It would be pretty difficult to really figure anything out about them without putting the doctors in danger."
"I'm sure there are ways. They have some of the same limitations of the human body- because at the end of the day, it's still a human body. Just no pain receptors, so they can do more than we can. Trap them properly, leave them with food, see if they die off… It's possible, just not easy," Tohru agreed, "All of what my friends gathered was through observation in the environment alone. With the right equipment and team, I'm sure we could figure it out. It's just getting there."
"Yeah… it seems like it would be too dangerous to be worth it." Kas stumbled again and clung tighter to Tohru, his legs wobbling dangerously. He whimpered softly, trying to get his legs to work. "This is so stupid… w-why don't my legs work…?"
"It's okay, Kas," Tohru soothed, "You're tired and stressed, and you're hurt. You'll be fine, but you really, really need to start resting more, once we get back to the others. You've got plenty of time to rest, I promise. Especially with Mori in his state, we're likely to stay here for a bit, so you don't have to like… admit to needing the time or anything."
Kas whimpered softly, screwing their eyes shut. "H-Hurts…" Their legs gave way and they landed on the stair they were standing on, making them hiss in pain. "Shit, shit… god… nngh…"
Tohru dropped the crutches, trying to catch Kas in time, but he failed. They clattered to the ground and down the next few stairs. He dropped down so he was sitting next to Kas.
"Ah, shit…" he grumbled, "Kas, are you alright?"
Tohru let out a gentle sigh, pressing a hand on his shoulder.
"Deep, slow breaths…"
Kas whined quietly and huddled up against Tohru, pained tears stinging his eyes. His knees were drawn up close to his chest, but his injured leg was held looser. It was obviously hurting. "Hurts… hurts… mmnh… god…"
Tohru held Kas close, trying to comfort them through the pain.
"I know… take as long as you need."
He glanced down at the other's injured knee.
"Did you hit your injured leg at all?" he asked, clearly concerned.
"A little… b-but I'm sure it's fine…" Kas tried to move their leg and paled, freezing up and hissing in pain again. Their knee was pretty swollen as well, but it was hard to tell whether it was any more swollen than it had been before.
"I'm so, so sorry," Tohru murmured, "I was supposed to catch you if- if this kind of thing happened."
He had a hard frown etched across his face, and his brow was furrowed.
"Careful, now. Maybe you shouldn't walk the rest of the way down. And when we get downstairs, we should get a cooling pack on that and make sure you didn't reinjure it."
"It's fine… I'm just a stupid klutz…" Kas tried to get up, but was clearly struggling with his injured leg. He couldn't get up, and it was only stressing him out. No, no, no…! I can't be useless! Get up! Get up! His breathing quickened, and his face paled.
"Kas, I know it's really hard right this moment, but you need to relax. You're making yourself panic," Tohru said, "And you're not a stupid klutz. Most wouldn't even dare to walk on an injury like that, and the fact you've managed this far is nothing short of impressive. But you don't need to impress anyone here. We've all got your back, and what's best for you right now is to not worry about being useless or immobile, and just focus on recovering. Like I said, we have the time for you to heal some."
His eyes flitted back and forth between Kas' worried face and his leg.
"We can sit here as long as you need to collect yourself, though."
Kas shook his head, his eyes stinging with angry, pained tears. "I can't do this… I c… c-can't…" They whispered weakly. "Can't relax, can't g-get up… can't walk… can't do anything… I'm so useless…" He hiccuped weakly and tried to stand again, but his leg was shaking too much to really function. "J-Just wanna walk… why's it so hard…?"
"Kas. Please stop, you're going to hurt yourself-" Tohru started, but his voice broke off.
I'm so bad at this whole comforting thing… Like what the hell am I supposed to say to make things better? He can't keep going like this… He just can't.
"You can't walk right now, okay? You really, really shouldn't. Everyone gets hurt, and it just happened to be you this time, and it's really holding you back. But I'm dead fucking serious when I say if you don't let it rest now, you might be facing consequences for the rest of your life, and that is not something I would wish on you."
Kas collapsed back onto the stairs, rubbing at his tears to try and hide them. "B-But I don't have that luxury! We're in the middle of an apocalypse, a-and I can't just sit and do nothing while everyone else is being helpful! I'm useless to you guys! W-Why don't you just ditch me here…? It would be easier for you…"
"For now, Kas, you do," Tohru replied, "And if we ditched everyone who was ever useless, even for a short period of time, we wouldn't even have people left. That logic just doesn't work."
He squeezed his eyes shut.
"I-I got ditched by the last three remaining people in my last group, and- and… I would never do that to anyone, especially not a kid."
Kas sighed shakily, still trying to force down his pained tears. "I-I just… god, I… I should've been more careful not to get hurt or something… n-now I can't do anything at all without risking it getting worse…" He choked a bit and coughed. "I-I don't— wanna— d-die…"
"You're not going to die," Tohru promised, "None of you are going to die. I won't let it happen."
His voice went from gentle to very grating and emotional.
"And l-like I said, we've got at least a few days here. We have to. And you get to take full advantage of that."
Kas whimpered a bit: still seeming pretty upset. "B-But I wanna be able to do stuff while I'm here, not just be cooped up in a bed for days because I can't walk… I'm… I-I'm not a little kid… I can do things…"
"It has nothing to do with being a kid," Tohru said, "Listen, Kas, I spent a whole day and a half out of commission because a stupid panic attack. You're allowed to rest while recovering from a dislocated knee of all things. We don't have much that we need to do right now at all, and you will be able to help out again later. It doesn't matter right now that you can't do anything that requires moving. You can help cook, sort supplies, and help watch Mori, for example."
Kas sighed shakily, clearly not entirely convinced. His leg was still hurting a lot, and it was getting increasingly difficult to focus. "I-I just… feel so stupid. I don't wanna lie around and wait for it to stop hurting, I… I just want it to stop hurting…"
"I know," Tohru said, his brow furrowing a bit, "That medicine should kick in soon, and at least take the edge off. As for feeling stupid and useless… I don't really know what to tell you aside from the fact we've all been hurt and had to take time off. You aren't the first, won't be the last- though I wish that weren't the case."
"Mmmm… how am I supposed to get downstairs if I can't walk, though…?" Kas asked weakly, turning his watery gaze up to Tohru. His eyes were a bit dull, and were shifting in and out of focus. He looked to be out of it for sure.