Nyx glanced over at Jude, a faint smile on his face. "Yeah." he agreed softly. "He must have been." he took another small step closer to Jude, telling himself it was only because of the crowd of people. But another part of him knew that it was because he wanted to be kissed again, wanted to hold Jude's hand.
"Poor bird," Jude said quietly, glancing at the chain on its leg, keeping it from flying away. The bird was Nyx– and the realization pained Jude like a dull ache; a sliver of guilt wrapped in a box, delivered with a bow. "What do you think?" Jude prompted, nudging him in the side as he studied it.
"I don't know." Nyx replied slowly. "On the one hand, it's a beautiful painting. On the other…how long was that bird trapped, just so that it could be painted?" he bit his lower lip a little bit.
"Yeah, exactly." Jude sighed, "So we're at a little paradox– do we love the painting, or hate it? Because of the subject matter?" He tilted his head, "This is why I like art. Sometimes…you don't know how to feel about it."
(gtg :) be back later!)
Nyx nodded, looking at the painting still. "I don't know." he replied softly, letting out a quiet laugh. "I think…" he shrugged.
(kk)
Jude sighed quietly, fiddling with his sleeve. "Hm." He hummed in thought, wondering if Rembrandt released the bird after all. Another painting to his left caught his eye, and he stepped to the side, looking at it from afar.
"I did a study on this one for school." Jude pointed at it, looking back at the rosy-cheeked child staring at him.
Nyx looked, cocking his head a little bit. "Oh. What is it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. He took a few steps towards the other painting, studying it.
(i gtg to bed in about 15 minutes. just a heads-up)
"The Van Moekerken Family." Jude answered, remembering the lengthy essay he wrote on it, all about how it captured the times and revolution in the composition and their positioning. "It's a family portrait; mom, dad, and their firstborn. The mom's lookin' at the pocket watch, cause she knows her kid's gonna die. The dad is on the right side, instead of left, which is weird, because the left side is usually the honoured side of whatever." He smiled, like he knew the family's secret and was revealing it in front of them, "So, the husband is honouring the wife for giving him an heir, but the heir is going to die. Another paradox, I think."
"Huh." Nyx said slowly. "I see." He ran his hands through his hair again, looking over at Jude. "I think I understand."
"Yeah." Jude nodded, "Death is a huge part of this type of art. The lighting in all these paintings are darker and more realistic, and there's always some type of symbol, hinting towards the idea that all things end." He shrugged, "Fruit will rot, flowers will wilt, and candles burn out. It's all the same"
Nyx nodded a little bit. "Well that's… depressing." He commented slowly, studying Jude for a moment, then looking at the paintings again.
Jude shrugged, "Not all of it is, though. Where there's death, there has to be life, like in the paintings we just saw." He put his hands in his pockets, looking over at the next one, "There's always something to oppose death in these types of scenes; luxurious and drunken banquets, taverns full of life, people grinning in their company. It's a balance."
Nyx shrugged a little bit. "Yeah, but still. It's a little depressing." he replied, examining the different paintings. He stuck close to Jude, though, not wanting to get lost.
"Hm? Why do you say that?" Jude asked curiously, wanting to hear what he had to say about one of his favourite topics.
"The only thing they could think of to paint was death and different representations? Why not life and other things instead?" Nyx shrugged again. "I don't know."
"It wasn't the only thing," Jude said, "They also painted lively scenes– like this one," He pointed to a painting of a young couple laughing together. "They're happy; it's joyful scene, even though the lighting makes it a bit ominous."
Nyx nodded a little bit, looking at the painting. He shrugged slightly. "Still. It's ominous. It's not just happy and carefree and lovely"
Jude liked the way Nyx thought paintings should be, even if he was half-wrong. "Not everything can be that way, in art." He sighed, "Sometimes, it's good to see death in little ways like this. It keeps us humble and more importantly– reminds us to…treasure what we have."
Nyx shrugged a little bit. "Yes, but it also can weigh you down. Paintings of good things would be a reminder to…to keep your head up, because there's better stuff ahead."
"That's true." Jude nodded, tilting his head at the paintings they walked by, "But then you'd be ignoring a whole other side of the world. Art has to be honest, and showing the bad is necessary sometimes."
"Yeah, but…" Nyx shrugged. "I don't know." He gave a slight smile, shaking his head after a moment.
"No one knows, really." Jude smiled, touching Nyx's hand as if it were the most casual thing in the world. He forgot himself and retracted his hand, returning it to his pocket's with an apologetic smile. This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. Jude sighed, "–Yeah, it's all over the place, but that's what makes it so great."
Nyx blinked at the touch, inhaling. God, I want him to be able to kiss and touch and love me. He thought. He closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head a little.
Jude noticed Nyx's reaction to his touch, yeah, won't do that again. He didn't say anything about it but couldn't help but feel disappointed as he turned to another painting, "I wish things were different."
Nyx glanced at him. "Yeah, well they aren't." He replied, shaking his head slightly. He didn't know how to fix things. He didn't know if there was some magical words he could say that would make Jude able to love him without it being bad for him.