forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

I'm 3 books away from my Goodreads reading challenge for the year-

ahhhhhhhhhhh
i hate this so much
guess who now has to clean up her room (even tho it's actually not that hard) in a vv short notice?
meeeeee

because apparently family friends are coming on wednesday and if i don't do this tonight, i'll procrastinate way too much
they have kids
not too young, thank goodness
but there are fecking three of them
now,
our house is t i n y
we have a total of three beds
and there will be more than three of us in the house when they come
dfslkjkjldflksdf
i might be getting kicked out of my room
i would like to stay in my room jklfsdjklsd
idek if that's an option anymore
i might have to sleep on the floor kljsfdkjld
ahhh

actually i realise part of it might be kinda petty
but i don't even really know what that word means
so
oh well

Yall ever wonder what you mean to other people? Like do your close friends actually think they're close with you? Do they care about you as much as you care about them? And could you mean a lot to someone who doesn't mean much to you?

I do.

I'm always scared of what people think of me, whether it's positive or negative. Negative because I don't want most people to hate me, and positive because I don't want people to look up to me.

I agree with Owen about Reddit. No like, but their platform.

I'm always scared of what people think of me, whether it's positive or negative. Negative because I don't want most people to hate me, and positive because I don't want people to look up to me.

I want people to look up to me. But preferably ignore all the not so good stuff and be inspired by the best I give.

I'm always scared of what people think of me, whether it's positive or negative. Negative because I don't want most people to hate me, and positive because I don't want people to look up to me.

I want people to look up to me. But preferably ignore all the not so good stuff and be inspired by the best I give.

Same, I wanna be a good influence on the people around me but I also don't wanna be the person people look up too.

anyone wanna take their anger out on me
i haven’t been yelled at in a while and i feel like i deserve to be yelled at

nah
id vent to you but
id just be repeatin g stuff already said
and anyways
i still havent finished cleaning my room bc
p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n

nah
id vent to you but
id just be repeatin g stuff already said
and anyways
i still havent finished cleaning my room bc
p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n

I feel this.
I have a pile of clean clothes on my floor from the past month of laundry. I've jest been letting the pile grow, there are more clothes on the floor than in my dresser at this point.

ohmy i feel you
i literally just picked them up but
lkjsfdlkdf
i have way too many things on my floor tbh

It wouldn't be that much of a problem but my room is one yard wide and two yards long so, if there is anything on my floor at all, it's a problem.

oof
i feel that
like
my room is so tiny sfjklsdjkl

Tiny room squad unite.

yeah
istg
i know that this would actually not be so hard
and i could spend entirety of tomorrow without having to do any room cleaning if i actually forced myself to go clean my room but
ahhhh
it feels like the biggest task ever and i just-
silent screaming into the void

I rearranged my entire shelf and organized it and reorganized my 110 nail polishes instead of putting away the pile of clothes on my floor. Why? I don't know.
There will come a day when I will have a clean room, but that is not this day.

I’m totally gonna think I was being irrational and too hard on myself in the morning but I just need to get this out.
I was so fucking stupid. So, so stupid. I got over excited and I didn’t think and I regally really wish my mom could have been there with me cause she knew what to do. I’m not ready to be a fucking adult. That was such a stupid mistake and now I have to go live on my own and be in charge of my own education and making sure I take of myself? I can’t fucking take care of myself. I’m fucking stupid and reckless and I didn’t fucking think. I’m so indecisive all the time because I’m terrified of making the wrong decision and the one time I jumped the gun I made the wrong fucking decision. Who decided I was ready to be out in the world? I was so excited. I was fucking stupid. I can’t do this. I’m not ready to do this. I’m so not ready to do this and my stupid ass proved that. Fuck. I can’t

oh lol, and ohnuuu i'm sorry moxie
big hugs @ fren

yo mox
so as someone who is still pretty heckin young and far from the "real world", no I don't know how you feel
but I do know you
and I know that it's gonna be difficult and a hard adjustment/change but I also think you can do it
honestly is anyone really ever ready for the real world because I don't think so but life goes on anyway and as people we learn to adjust accordingly and deal with it
and you've got people to support you whenever
that's my blurb for the night and it's 2:30 so I will be going to sleep soon lol

ahhhhhhhhhh
there is a d e m o n in my room
ljkdsfklfd
the stupid spider
it's in my room
i have no clue where it is
and ahhhh
jklsdlkjd
can someone kill the demon for me??
oh wait
i think i see it
lemme try and kill it rq

i did it
oh my god
i killed the demon
kjsdflkjsd

God I just remembered the sermon where my church's pastor essentially said "if you have anxiety or depression, it's because you aren't praying hard enough" and I'm like no??? that's not fucking it??? Personally I have neither but that is not how it fucking works????? I just…why am I still angry about this it's been a fucking month

that's why i refuse to go to church anymore. i remember being really depressed in middle school and showing signs of suicidal behavior and my mom wanted to take me to the pastor to, and i quote, "exorcise the demons that i let in my body", like, dude, no, chill out, there's scientific proof that mental illnesses like depression are a chemical imbalance in the brain. start treating it like a real fucking thing, because it is a real fucking illness, be it physical or not.

For the past two days, the family cat, Tiger, has been missing. This is not usual behavior for him. He's old and doesn't stray far from home, and he's pretty diligent in letting us know if he's stuck and needs our help (by howling at the top of his lungs). My father said that he has to be either dead, injured, or kidnapped. We've had a problem with cougars getting into town before, maybe it happened again and got Tiger. We're both getting super worried at this point.
Then
Guess
Fucking guess who comes sauntering up the driveway
Dehydrated as hell
Not physically hurt in the slightest

Our old lovebug of a family cat
Motherfucker had us so worried
I gave him so much love and water

Turns out, he decided to take an afternoon nap in the neighbor's tool shed and then got locked inside.

Give him pets for me

I shall

honestly, I’m still angry about some of the bs that was TOB/Suffer
mom sent me there to try and ensure that I’d never fall away from the church, but that honestly was the closest thing to making me lose my faith entirely-
I eventually accepted that this wasn’t what christians truly believe, and I don’t have to follow this middle-aged white lady’s senseless preaching to be a true devoted catholic.

I'm a Christian, and I do believe that prayer holds a lot of power, but I also believe that mental illness is caused by circumstances and/or incorrect amounts of certain chemicals (i think that's what it is - i didn't pay attention in science class).

Sometimes ( Just random add on) I pray for the well being of myself and others, Especially ever since my depression started. I would just pray and ask to not have those filthy mind demons to corrupt me and make me do something I'd regret.
And by the time I look back and proof read this, you can tell I'm rambling.

The Closing Ceremony is in 17 days and I'm kinda scared
Cuz like
If we place, that's a sure ticket to get more people to join next year
I usually don't care about placing in competitions (at least I try to convince myself I don't care) but I hope we do
Idk if we'll beat the 6th place worldwide that we claimed in 2017 though

The Closing Ceremony is in 17 days and I'm kinda scared
Cuz like
If we place, that's a sure ticket to get more people to join next year
I usually don't care about placing in competitions (at least I try to convince myself I don't care) but I hope we do
Idk if we'll beat the 6th place worldwide that we claimed in 2017 though

Is "good luck" an appropriate response? Because I'm gonna say it anyway

The Closing Ceremony is in 17 days and I'm kinda scared
Cuz like
If we place, that's a sure ticket to get more people to join next year
I usually don't care about placing in competitions (at least I try to convince myself I don't care) but I hope we do
Idk if we'll beat the 6th place worldwide that we claimed in 2017 though

Is "good luck" an appropriate response? Because I'm gonna say it anyway

Good skill.

Churches and other religious organizations have a big problem with understanding mental illness. Luckily, I go to a church where the prayer is practiced and employed for those types of things, but it's also recognized as a real medical condition. We pray and talk about it the same way you would about any other physical condition. We've talked about the benefits of medication. We've talked about the difference between circumstantial depression and sadness vs. clinical depression, and how God is there for both. Basically it's "do what you need to do medically, but do it with God." I'm happy that's how my church veiws it. Mental health is a serious topic that shouldn't be brushed away with "just pray more". These are medical sickness that require treatment. I believe God can heal people, but I also believe more often than not he chooses to do so through doctors and treatment plans. That's why those things exist. To be used. Take everything up in prayer, but don't ignore your options when God gives you the answer through therapy or medication.