forum “You don’t know what they did to me. To us.” (a continuation of an abruptly deleted thread)

Started September 23, 2020 by @Tired-but-passionate

tune

(hhh I'm glad this site isn't blocked-)

Alister may have slept for a couple of hours or so before he found himself awake, though it was impossible to tell how much time had passed without looking at the clock. But his mind wasn't really concerned with that at the moment. He actually wasn't too sure what his mind was on at the moment, but as the seconds passed, he believed he could put a name to it.
Evan would be nice to talk about it with, he thought. He said he would be there if I needed him. But the worry of interrupting his sleep kept him in his bed.
He yawned. Seconds, maybe minutes, passed. He didn't go back to sleep. Being alone in his room reminded him of being in the prison dorms again, and he shivered. He found himself getting up, leaning over and out of the bed, and exiting the room, dressed simply in a dark-colored shirt and a pair of shorts. He stood outside Evan's room, running a hand through his wild hair. Then he leaned on the door, listening for a few moments. He sighed, gently turned the knob, and let himself in.

Evan had managed to sleep a total of two to three hours, but honestly he couldn't sleep and he had no clue why, something was keeping him awake. Some disturbing presence or whatever.
He was laying down in his bed when he heard soft footsteps outside his door he sat up in his bed. What he wasn't expecting was to see Alister walking In through the door. Or maybe he was, but he did know for sure he missed him. He smiled softly as Alisters face was totally in view.

He could just see Evan’s figure sit up in bed in the dark. He moaned internally, suddenly wide awake and anxious.
“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” He murmured. He gently shut the door behind him. Despite his worry, he couldn’t just go back to his room now. He was here, and maybe… maybe he wanted to stay.

"no, no you didn't wake me up I was having trouble sleeping." He made sure to be quiet, not wanting to accidentally wake someone by him talking too loud. He smiled slightly at Alister hoping that ques them I'm to him liking his presence. He patted the spot next to him.

“Oh, good.” He could just make out Evan’s smile, and tried to return it. His posture relaxed and he gave a small sigh of relief. “I was too.”
Alister went over to the spot next to him and sat down. His gaze drifted to Evan as he tried to find his words, and he couldn’t help but stare.
“I… something’s on my mind.” He wetted his lips. “And I thought you could help me figure it out.”

He continued to smile as he walked over and sat down next to him he turned to look at Alister. "Yeah?..what's on your mind?" He tilted a little bit.

He sighed. “Should… should I join the rebellion? Noel really wants me to, and maybe it would be a nice change, but…” he paused. “I don’t know what I would have to offer. And I don’t know if I’m ready. And I’m just… it’s hard for my mind to wrap around going from playing the aliens’ game to survive, to completely rebelling against it. Maybe that’s dumb, I don’t know.”
His eyelashes fluttered, his heart suddenly pumping at the smile still on Evan’s face.

"Alister you have tons to offer, and I'm sure we could find someone to teach you. Maybe trent could teach you how to fight if you needed or wanted." He smiled putting a hand on his shoulder. "But I understand how it is, going from prisoner to rebellion, yes you worked for them but they still held you prisoner as much as any of the lab experiments."
He continued to smile at him. "It's not stupid."

His muscles tensed up and his face grew hot when Evan put an arm around his shoulder. “Y-yeah, I guess I would need to know how to fight. But wait, Trent? Um…” he felt like it was a bad time to remind Evan about how coldly Trenton had treated him and how he’d slapped Evan, so he changed the subject. “Oh, ok. I’m glad it’s not stupid. And yeah, I guess I was as much a prisoner as you were.”
Alister had tried avoiding looking at Evan’s face, but something made him look up at it. He hoped he couldn’t see his blush in the dark. “Are you… are you still smiling? Why are you smiling?”

"yeah? What's wrong with trent?' he tilted his head just a little bit at Alister hesitation and questioning. He let Alister talk whilw he listened to him, liking the sound of Alisters voice.
He chuckled a little bit. "is it that obvious I'm smiling? Well I'm smiling, just, because you."

Alister didn’t think he could blush harder than he already was, but somehow, he did.
“Trent? Oh, Trent’s fine! He’s fine… y’know…” he stuttered, the words almost bleeding together. “W-wait, what do you mean, ‘you’? That’s not a very good- a very good reason-“
Maybe if he could stop looking at Evan’s soft, beautiful smiling face he could speak properly. But somehow he couldn’t tear his eyes away from his soft, smiling lips and the way his hair fell into his eyes. He tried to keep his heart steady.

"Are you sure Trent's fine? I know he be a bit a rough with his training but I know you can take it." He smiled at him messing with his hair with his other hand. He did indeed notice the blush as it was fiercer, and he thought it was so adorable and he started to blush as well.
"i think it's a pretty great reason to smile actually.." he continued to smile at him, putting the hand on his neck. He leaned forward just a little bit, so if he felt like leaning on Alister he could.

“That’s not what, um- that’s not what I meant-“ Alister was beginning to lose his words. The hand that was still around his shoulders seemed so foreign to him; he couldn’t remember being touched like this before. Yet it was so comforting, he wanted to lean into Evan’s arm but something kept him still- was it fear? He tried to keep his heart steady as Evan leaned in closer. The feeling of wanting to hug him and run away from him was so overpowering that the forces cancelled each other out and he was frozen.
“Then should I smile back?” He found himself whispering.

He was a bit concerned with all his stuttering, and then when eh stopped talking for a while, leaning in closer and just leaning on softly. "If you want to, I won't force you to smile back. Genuine smiles only." He chuckled a little bit leaning against him his arm still around him. "What is it about trent thats bad? You can tell me."

It took him a moment to get his train of thought back on track. It was so strange, yet so, so amazing, this feeling of being embraced, being leaned on. Noel was too small so it was always him who used to give her those kinds of hugs. But it was so long ago, and receiving one himself was something he couldn’t remember from before this moment. He could feel tears springing in his and he instantly tried wiping them away.
He took a shuddering breath. “Trent’s fine, he’s not bad… and I guess it was reasonable of him not to trust me at first. I just hope he doesn’t continue to treat me that way. Or slap you again, for that matter.”

He could feel the slight tremble under his arm and pulled alister in for a full hug. "hey, I'm sorry about him acting that way, he doesn't usually do that but ever since he was at the lab he's been acting differently. I'll talk to him okay?" He leaned back to wipe away the tears from Alisters face.

There was a sharp intake of breath as he felt himself being pulled into Evan’s embrace. He struggled to respond as he felt his nerves nearly light on fire in Evan’s arms. “O-oh, that’s alright, you don’t have t-“ Alister was struck silent when he felt the tears which were still threatening to come being wiped away. He trembled again, his silvery eyes locked on the other boy’s dark orbs. Then he felt his lips move, forming words.
“Why are you so-“ he paused, his mouth slightly parted. “Why are you doing this? We met only a few days ago… I hurt you… I sent you to what could’ve been your death…”

He just smiled at Alister, but his lip slightly trembled as he felt like crying also. He just rubbed his thumb against Alisters cheek gently.
"Alister…I know we only met a few days ago…but I knew you were a good person after I got a look into your eyes that day. I knew you were suffering, so if my being sent meant it could ease the suffering ..it just made it so it didn't hurt as much…I guess I wasn't as afriad of death as I was giving the information to the aliens and then we'll, you showed up, you saved me. Then I knew you were a good guy why would you risk it otherwise?"

Somehow, Alister found himself chuckling as wet tears streamed down his hot cheeks. He put his hand on the one rubbing it.
“Oh Evan, you being sent did not ease my suffering in the slightest.” He didn’t even try to deny he was suffering at all. “Those baby blue eyes appeared on my wrists and suddenly I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I was actually doing something, saving you, not just waiting for something to happen. It didn’t really feel like…” oh god, was he breaking now? Was this what it felt like? He wasn’t sure. “It didn’t really feel like I was being a good person though.”

"You were suffering?.." plss he frowned big time as he heard this, a look of concern painting his face as his hand caressed Alisters cheek and Alisters hand joined on his. He leaned foreward to press his forehead to Alister. "I'm sorry you were suffering…but trust me…what you did helped so much. Your not a bad person…"

His chuckle faded and his expression pinched up with emotion. He reflexively pulled away as Evan leaned forward to press his forehead to his. “You have no idea of what I’ve done, what I had to do… I felt the suffering was deserved. You don’t need to apologize. I’m glad I was able to help though, even just a little bit.”
His voice cracked slightly. He felt a sob rising in his throat but he forced it down.

He, having issues with rejection in the past felt it heavier then he should have when Alister pulled away. "Alister I don't care what you did in the past, you didn't deserve that suffering even if you felt like you did…" He wasn't sure if he should pull his hand away from Alister or not.

But Alister kept Evan’s hand there, squeezing it a little. His words had left him, and he couldn’t stop a shuddering sob from bursting from between his clenched teeth. He finally broke eye contact with Evan, his gaze dropping to the dark, wrinkled blankets beneath them and his vision blurring and wet.
His chest heaved, his muscles trembled. What was he doing? He didn’t come to Evan to cry in front of him. He blubbered what could only be assumed was an apology.

Evan smiled softly when his hand was kept there by Alister, but when he started sobbing he put a hand on the back of Alisters head and pulled him close and great big hug. "its okay… Its okay…'