forum "You DO like me!" "I don't think 'like' is the right word." "You tolerate me." "Maybe." one on one

Started January 29, 2021 by @cryptic-glitch

tune

"Um. They hug. And kiss each other, I guess. But not everyone does that. Or they have sex. But not everyone does that. They do nice things for each other." She listed a few things. "Like that."

"Oh…" Lin listened closely, trying his best to understand what Orion was saying. "Okay. But we don't have to have sex, right?"

"No. Of course not." Orion blinked. "I told you I'm not going to make you do things you don't want to."

Lin nodded a bit and sighed softly in relief. "That's good… I really don't wanna have sex. I-I mean, like, in general. Not just you in particular."

"That's okay." She watched him silently, tucking her hands under her thighs.

Lin ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes. "This is all happening really fast…"

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to help you or anything. But I am sorry."

Lin nodded a bit. "It's fine… I'll try my best to catch up and keep up."

"I don't know what to do. I can't believe I did this to you." She hunched over, curling in on herself.

"It's okay, Orion… I'm not mad at you." Lin insisted softly, looking over at Orion.

"I know you aren't mad at me. I'm mad at myself." She licked her lips and clenched her fists.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better about it?" Lin asked softly.

"No. It's my fault. Like most things are. It doesn't matter."

"Come on, Orion. Most things aren't your fault. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I've done a lot of wrong things. Reassurance isn't helpful. I appreciate you trying to help, don't get me wrong," she said. "I just make myself suffer."

"But you shouldn't make yourself suffer, especially not needlessly." Lin closed his eyes and sighed again.

"I realize that. I don't know what to do about it though." She glanced at him.

"Well… I guess you have to be willing to forgive yourself. Be like, 'Hey, maybe I could have handled this situation better, but the best thing to do is to work through it and move on.'"

"My brain doesn't seem to grasp that concept very well," she said wryly and fiddled with the straw in her mountain dew.

Lin sighed softly. "Well, I dunno… just know that I don't blame you and I'm not mad, so you don't have to be mad at yourself either."

"I do have to be mad. I made you feel uncomfortable and I hate that I did that. A lot."

"But I'm not upset with you. It's okay. I forgive you." Lin insisted softly.

"Yes. Yes. I know. I still feel bad. I still feel like I hurt you."

Lin sighed quietly, trying to figure out what he could say that would help. "W-Well I… I dunno… what can I do to help?"

"Not a whole lot. I just have to learn myself. I'm sorry that you can't help. I know you want to. I just- I don't see how you can."