forum “You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful... something not everybody knows how to love.”// No more people please // OcxOc

Started July 17, 2021 by @michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

tune

"I-I mean, I…"

But Ender had left before he could offer his thoughts. He groaned, leaning back against a wall and sliding down until he sat against it.

You've got horrible taste, man, Kapnos grumbled. If these are the kind of guys you're into, I'd have tried romancing you instead of bargaining.

"I really don't need that mental image in my life."

Ha ha. For real. What do you see in him?

"I… dunno," Pogo admitted quietly. "I-I just… well, if he's an angel, then it makes sense that he's not very good at… interacting with people. I really, really believe that if I get to know him, he'd be someone… good. Someone who gets it. He's just…"

He rested his head against the wall.

"I don't feel like he's letting me in, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get through to him."

He liked that compass.

"Yeah, he did… wait. What? What's with you offering advice?"

Don't think too much into it. It's clear you're not going to leave, so I'm just going to make my time here as smooth as possible.

"You just don't want to get on his bad side."

Shut up. Do you want my help or not?

Pogo shrugged. "Fine. What was your idea?"

Get him something shiny. When you gave him the compass, looked to me like he was interested in the shiny, clinky aspect of it more than anything else.

"Shiny. Shiny… like…"

Near a pile of scraps and trinkets, Pogo noticed a broken string of lights coiled up on the ground, several bulbs either broken or missing entirely.

"I think I have an idea."

What? What are you— ohhhhh…. I see.

Pogo took the lights, then shuffled through the rest of Ender's collected trinkets, occasionally finding spare small lightbulbs that, fortunately, were just small enough to fit the string of lights, though there weren't enough bulbs to replace every vacant spot. He hung up the lights, using tape to secure them in places lacking support, then, after Kapnos's help with the wiring and finding a battery, managed to light up the string of lights. He stepped back, admiring his handiwork.

The string of lights circled the ceiling, bulbs occasionally flickering with the weaker power source, and some spots in the string still missing bulbs entirely, but overall it provided a nice source of light for the bunker and added a unique decorative flair — at least, Pogo thought so.

"And I can tell him you helped out, too," Pogo told Kapnos. "Maybe he'll like you after that."

Whatever makes him less likely to kill me, sure.

All he had to do now was wait for Ender to come back.

Ender spent about an hour collecting things; mostly mutated herbs, but also a few pieces of litter that interested him. When he came back, his bag was full.
….I can finally make more tea…..maybe he’ll like it….
He entered the bunker and was a little caught off guard by the new lighting. His eyes practically lit up. He grinned with excitement, examining the glowing bulbs. In his excitement, a few extra eyes showed up on his body. He jumped up and down a little, and let out a noise that sounded like a high-pitched squeal.
it’s so shiny it’s so shiny it’s so shiny it’s so shiny
He smiled. It wasn’t an intimidating smile, like the one he had given Kapnos earlier; it was a genuine, sweet, happy smile.
“…..t-thank you…..so much……” He spoke quietly, but this time, it was out of awe instead of fear.

Pogo smiled, relieved to see Ender actually liked the lights.

Nailed it, Kapnos snickered.

"And, and they helped too, got all the wiring sorted out," Pogo added. "To, uh, apologize for the disagreement earlier. They wanted to make it up to you with this."

Kapnos was ready to contest, but it dawned on them what Pogo was trying to do, so they kept their mouth shut.

“…..but it wasn’t their fault…..” He looked at Pogo. “Thank you anyway, Kapnos.” He watched one of the flickering bulbs, fascinated with how one second, it was shiny, then the next, it wasn’t. He was like a moth who wouldn’t leave a lamp. After a few minutes, he managed to pull himself away and start making the tea. He put some of the irradiated herbs in the water to steep.

Pogo seated himself back on the couch, going through his satchel before setting it aside.

"What kind of tea are you making?" he inquired.

If they're herbs from the forest, I'd probably advise against drinking whatever becomes of them. You won't want that stuff in your system, Kapnos warned.

“….I dunno what to call it…..just….tea…..” He stirred it a little. “….it might not be very good for you healthwise, but I like it…..” Ender added some sugar to it and poured himself a mug of the tea. “….i found this combination through trial and error, seeing what tasted good with what….” The tea smelled sweet, and a little bit mintlike.

Pogo raised an eyebrow.

"You've got a taste for a lot of different beverages, huh? It smells good, but, yeah," he broke off into a small bit of laughter. "Probably shouldn't drink it myself. You, uh, have any water, actually? Alcohol dehydrates."

He nodded and handed him a sealed bottle of purified water that looked like a government ration. “I find these every so often… the water that’s from here probably isn’t great for you to drink either, but this stuff is sealed really good….”

Pogo took it with a nod of gratitude. He read the label, his curiosity piqued.

"I remember you mentioning what sounded like government agents that raid the place every so often. How long has it been since they last came here? Do they ever see you?"

“…..it’s been a couple moon cycles….I think they’ve seen me a few times…..they pointed their guns at me and started shooting…..they shot a lot…..it was loud…..” He began messing with the compass again, watching the chain clink against the surface. “I don’t like them, but they leave behind some cool things sometimes.”

Pogo frowned. "Well, at least you aren't hurt."

He took a swig of his bottle, relieved to taste fresh water. His mouth was dry. Maybe it was dehydration, or maybe it was his nerves. He couldn't tell.

Man, could you think about anything else other than him? groaned Kapnos. There's no way he's into you. You're hardly keeping this conversation together.

I'm not thinking about him, Pogo replied defensively. I'm just—

Thinking about him. You're barely holding that bottle with how much you're shaking. Good Gods, Al, you're terrible at this.

I don't see you helping!

Ender sipped his tea quietly, sitting down at his desk to tinker with the new scrap he collected. His mind wandered to Pogo, and he blushed a little at the idea of even holding hands with him.
he doesn’t like you, why would he?
He closed his eyes and sighed.
…..I need to be more…..open….
He took a deep breath, and decided to just get it over with.
“I think I like you.” He said it pretty quietly; it was hard to hear if you weren’t focused on it. He continued to mess with the scrap, acting like he didn’t do anything. His attempt at covering it up wasn’t very successful. His face was redder than a cherry.

Pogo's eyebrows raised. Wait. What?

"I-I, uh… like you too."

Oh my Gods.

"You're… you're pretty cool."

Kapnos burst into laughter. Pretty cool?! That's all you have to tell him?

Pogo averted his gaze, cupping a hand awkwardly over his mouth.

Gods, you guys are perfect for each other, actually. I j-just.. hooo boy. That's… wow. Romance of the century right here. If this is how love works, I think I'm good.

You're, like, the least supportive person I know, Pogo grumbled.

Least I'm not crazy.

he only sees you as a friend, you fool, maybe not even that.
“…..I……I have a question….” Ender stared at his desk, incredibly nervous.
“…..what does it feel like to kiss someone?…..” his face went even redder, and he didn’t turn around to face him. “….I’ve heard about it…..in books and stuff……but I don’t actually know how it is…….”

"I-I mean, it's… nice," Pogo admitted, feeling his own face heat up. "I c-could, uhm…"

He took a deep breath. Oh, man. This was probably the most forward he'd ever been in his entire life, but here goes nothing.

"I could… show you?"

Ender almost choked on his tea. He didn’t expect his feelings to actually be reciprocated. His heart raced.
“…..t-that would be….nice…..”

Pogo stood, remembered the near-foot height difference between the two, and pulled Ender down close by the collar of his shirt before gently, timidly, pressing his lips to Ender's. He then pulled away, averting his gaze. He could feel how warm his face had gotten.

Ender’s heart skipped a beat. He covered his face to try to hide how much he was blushing. “……..I l-liked that…..” He never thought this would actually happen. He figured he was unlovable. He started to tear up. “……that felt……n-nice……” He felt so warm, and happy, and….. safe.

Pogo chuckled weakly, a bit embarassed by the whole ordeal.

You guys are a disaster. Please kill me, Kapnos mumbled. But Pogo couldn't hear him, too lost in his feelings.

He kind of wanted to kiss Ender again, but he wasn't going to push his luck.

"That's.. yeah," he managed to choke out, his voice hoarse. "People, uh, do that. To… when they like someone. It's a, uh, a personal thing. Wouldn't do that with… with friends."

does he….. does he actually like me?
“……if we’re not…..just……friends……what are we?…..”

"Well…"

Pogo turned away from Ender, hiding his face in his hands. Was he crazy? He had a life! A job! In the city! Ender wouldn't stand a chance in society, would he? And Pogo couldn't give up his livelihood all because some angel dude looked cute.

But he felt more than that. He just couldn't verbalize it.

This is the first time your thoughts have made sense, Kapnos sighed.

"I-I don't know," Pogo admitted aloud, face still buried in his hands. "I don't… know."

Ender nodded and sat back down at his desk, going back to tinkering with his scrap. His mind was racing.
“Alright…..” His face was still red from the kiss.

"I-I, uh…" Pogo found himself fumbling for words, "I think I'll… i-if the storm's cleared up any, I… might go get some fresh air for a bit. Yeah."

He made his way out of the bunker, only really realizing how badly he was shaking when he found he was barely able to get the door open. He stumbled away from the house, sat himself at the base of a tree, and let out a loud, frustrated groan. Why did he do that? Why did he do that? Why was he like this? He was terrible at this!

Ender started worrying again. “……I messed it up, didn’t I…..I messed it all up…..” He took a deep breath.
stop being like that. he doesn’t like when you act like that.
He stood up and looked through his cabinets for something that’d ease his nerves.
i’ve got…..beer…..and…..these things……
He grabbed a beat-up bottle of pills. He could barely read the label.
maybe these’ll help…..what’s the worst that could happen?……i can’t die…..
He shook a couple into his hand and swallowed them. He went back to the pile of scrap on his desk, not feeling any different yet.

Way to go. Now you've probably freaked him out again, muttered Kapnos. By the Devil, just go in there and tell him.

"I-I still don't know if I want to commit to it," Pogo replied, hands clutching his head as he tried to calm his racing thoughts. "I can't believe I actually did that."

I can't either, Kapnos grumbled, and Pogo couldn't tell if they were being sarcastic or condemning. Go back inside, tell him how you feel. It's really not that hard.

"You're one to talk. The only person you care about is yourself," he retorted, but complied, standing up from his spot and slowly, carefully, making his way back to the bunker. He was gonna do it. He was absolutely gonna do it.

He was probably gonna do it. Maybe.